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Post by tnr9 on Apr 3, 2018 0:13:09 GMT
Tigrio....a lot of great information. I think no contact is really important. I can not continue engaging with the person, being around at her convenience and continuing to erode away at my self-respect. I commend you for setting limits with what you will and will not tolerate. Compassionateavoid...I totally agree. I don't think the intent is malicious or deceitful, but more around her limitations. Emotions are very scary for her. She has spent almost 50 years of her life avoiding them. I FEEL my emotions and I express them. I am also a therapist. I believe that those two things alone are very overwhelming to her. I feel mine deeply as well....I don't think B really knew how to handle mine either. He preferred things to be chill....and I just couldn't meet him there. I think he liked the concept of being with me but found the reality a struggle at times (not unlike my mom). So I got the same message..."you are not enough but equally you are too much" from him that I got as a kid....and yet....I still find myself wanting to be back with him. |
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Post by bedlam71 on Apr 3, 2018 18:06:48 GMT
Just trying to focus on me. Noticing sadness and missing her, but there is nothing I can do to change the situation. I do not want to go back to a relationship where i cannot express my emotions and is also inconsistent. I just can't do it anymore. It has been one-sided and that is not what I want for a partner. How are you doing? |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2018 18:22:33 GMT
Just trying to focus on me. Noticing sadness and missing her, but there is nothing I can do to change the situation. I do not want to go back to a relationship where i cannot express my emotions and is also inconsistent. I just can't do it anymore. It has been one-sided and that is not what I want for a partner. How are you doing? Sometimes hard to hold the weight of both of those two conflicting realities - to love and miss someone so much, but at the same time to know that even if you reunited, there would be a gaping hole of unmet desire. My AP brain falls in love so much harder and richer after a break-up too, even if my interest had become lukewarm within the relationship. It can be hard to stay out of fantasy with time and distance. It's awesome to see you acknowledging the intensity of your emotion, but having conviction about deserving more. Letting ourselves simmer in our attachment wounds absolutely sucks - but we're strong, and no one can deny us of that. bedlam71 you are doing the hard work, but your self respect is fierce, and I love that. |
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