1h chat on the phone after 2.5 months break up
Apr 25, 2018 21:29:02 GMT
via mobile
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Post by fifi on Apr 25, 2018 21:29:02 GMT
He reached out to me last week. I have been moving on well but after the text I became very emotional. I wrote down what I wanted to say in the notebook but I decided not to send the msg because I did not want to get into a mudfight. In fact, I was never going to reply to his msg but it was not getting off my head. I simply sent him a text on whatsapp if he could call me this evening. He said yes and we had a chat for an hour. It was to check where we are standing at and also to do me a favour since I was keeping everything inside me to make my exit graceful.
I feel very liberating after this chat. I said everything I wanted to say. I asked for apologies which he did. I asked for apologies for his unkind behaviours towards the end of our relationship and also having been dishonest with me during our time.
But what truly liberated me was that the break up was not my fault and it was not because I was not good enough. His past relationship was all casual relationships except one whom he moved(she suggested it, not him) in with for a year. Even that relationship was because of social pressure since everyone else was getting married and he felt pressure. He said it was a serious relationship but he could not see himself with her for the rest of the life, they broke up. He said he stayed in that relationship for the convenience of a relationship.(Prob same thing applies to me) This was when he was 35. He said he was never in love with anyone and would probably end up being alone. He thinks he did not love her but I remember he said that the breakup was very hard for him that he was sad for more than six months. I don’t think it would have been difficult that if he was not emotionally attached to her. And I’m the girl he dated the longest apart from her. I’m quite happy with that. =)
I asked him if he still likes me. He said, without hesitation, that he likes me. He liked being with me, hanging out, going out, making out with me. Basically isn’t that what you want from a girlfriend? But he did not want to have a serious relationship. But then he added once you are married, you are trapped, isn’t it?
He said it was good to hear my voice and having a chat with me. He asked me if I want to stay in touch as I was ignoring him. I said I don’t know. I was going to change my phone number as I moved into a new nearby country. He said I can always text him as his number isn’t going to change.
Basically he wanted update from me as I was dead silenct since our break up. It was not about getting back together but he wants to stay in touch with me. He is not staying in touch with any of his dating partners.(well, can I believe that? Just hope he is not an ex collector) He said he would text me and I know he will. I asked him why then his answer was because he likes me as a person. (But I know it’s more than that because that’s what my gut is saying) Haha. I don’t know if this guy is decieving himself or maybe he loves me to his best but he does not realise it yet. Because why would you want to keep in touch with a girl you don’t like on a daily basis especially as a DA? Why would he keep texting when I’m ignoring it if he does not like me? Why would you even care? Someone corrects me if I’m wrong =(
I don’t know if I want to get back together with him. He is not sure about it. When I asked him if he wanted to come to visit me, he said maybe.
He admitred that he was not giving what I deserve and said sorry. Apologised for things that he thought it was wrong. I told him to man up and let her go if you don’t like her enough. Stop being a hinderance. He understood the msg I was trying to delievr and confessed him having been selfish, evil(his word), insecure. (I accused of him being insecure because his looking for other girls while being with me was an exact evidence that he was insecure. That he knows he is not a man of integrety and it does not serve his self-esteem or insecurity. He agreed with me. Ha!)
So in conclusion, he apologised for everything and I’m really happy even if it does not mean we are not going back together. Actually it is a good thing because for now he cannot give me what I want.
Also, our status is ambigious but it seems he wants me in his life. I cannot find other reasons he would reach out to me if he does not miss me. As he wanted to stay in touch, I asked him if he’d be okay to see me moving on with other guy. He could not give me a clear answer. Maybe he is confused himself. He is DA/Emotionally unavailable/commitment phobic.
We had a very honest conversation. He hates this sort of talk but he endured for an hour(He hing up the phone if we have to do relationship dicussion or anything that is related to emotions) He answered to all of my questions and applogised everything I asked for. Of course I wish he did not say sorry for him not giving me what I deserve but I want to believe that that’s the emotion capacity he could ever have for anyone.
I am 99% sure he will kiss me if he sees me again. But now I know what he wants and what I want and also aware that he cannot give me what I want. I’m not sure where this relationship might go but the fact that he still likes me and the break up was not my fault gives me a sort of peace. My gut feeling says he does not know how much he actually likes me. Getting back together is a different story though.
Just wanted to leave a post so I can look back later. =) Peace to everyone xx
I feel very liberating after this chat. I said everything I wanted to say. I asked for apologies which he did. I asked for apologies for his unkind behaviours towards the end of our relationship and also having been dishonest with me during our time.
But what truly liberated me was that the break up was not my fault and it was not because I was not good enough. His past relationship was all casual relationships except one whom he moved(she suggested it, not him) in with for a year. Even that relationship was because of social pressure since everyone else was getting married and he felt pressure. He said it was a serious relationship but he could not see himself with her for the rest of the life, they broke up. He said he stayed in that relationship for the convenience of a relationship.(Prob same thing applies to me) This was when he was 35. He said he was never in love with anyone and would probably end up being alone. He thinks he did not love her but I remember he said that the breakup was very hard for him that he was sad for more than six months. I don’t think it would have been difficult that if he was not emotionally attached to her. And I’m the girl he dated the longest apart from her. I’m quite happy with that. =)
I asked him if he still likes me. He said, without hesitation, that he likes me. He liked being with me, hanging out, going out, making out with me. Basically isn’t that what you want from a girlfriend? But he did not want to have a serious relationship. But then he added once you are married, you are trapped, isn’t it?
He said it was good to hear my voice and having a chat with me. He asked me if I want to stay in touch as I was ignoring him. I said I don’t know. I was going to change my phone number as I moved into a new nearby country. He said I can always text him as his number isn’t going to change.
Basically he wanted update from me as I was dead silenct since our break up. It was not about getting back together but he wants to stay in touch with me. He is not staying in touch with any of his dating partners.(well, can I believe that? Just hope he is not an ex collector) He said he would text me and I know he will. I asked him why then his answer was because he likes me as a person. (But I know it’s more than that because that’s what my gut is saying) Haha. I don’t know if this guy is decieving himself or maybe he loves me to his best but he does not realise it yet. Because why would you want to keep in touch with a girl you don’t like on a daily basis especially as a DA? Why would he keep texting when I’m ignoring it if he does not like me? Why would you even care? Someone corrects me if I’m wrong =(
I don’t know if I want to get back together with him. He is not sure about it. When I asked him if he wanted to come to visit me, he said maybe.
He admitred that he was not giving what I deserve and said sorry. Apologised for things that he thought it was wrong. I told him to man up and let her go if you don’t like her enough. Stop being a hinderance. He understood the msg I was trying to delievr and confessed him having been selfish, evil(his word), insecure. (I accused of him being insecure because his looking for other girls while being with me was an exact evidence that he was insecure. That he knows he is not a man of integrety and it does not serve his self-esteem or insecurity. He agreed with me. Ha!)
So in conclusion, he apologised for everything and I’m really happy even if it does not mean we are not going back together. Actually it is a good thing because for now he cannot give me what I want.
Also, our status is ambigious but it seems he wants me in his life. I cannot find other reasons he would reach out to me if he does not miss me. As he wanted to stay in touch, I asked him if he’d be okay to see me moving on with other guy. He could not give me a clear answer. Maybe he is confused himself. He is DA/Emotionally unavailable/commitment phobic.
We had a very honest conversation. He hates this sort of talk but he endured for an hour(He hing up the phone if we have to do relationship dicussion or anything that is related to emotions) He answered to all of my questions and applogised everything I asked for. Of course I wish he did not say sorry for him not giving me what I deserve but I want to believe that that’s the emotion capacity he could ever have for anyone.
I am 99% sure he will kiss me if he sees me again. But now I know what he wants and what I want and also aware that he cannot give me what I want. I’m not sure where this relationship might go but the fact that he still likes me and the break up was not my fault gives me a sort of peace. My gut feeling says he does not know how much he actually likes me. Getting back together is a different story though.
Just wanted to leave a post so I can look back later. =) Peace to everyone xx
