Noticing when I don't honor autonomy

Today I was pondering a topic that has been a glaring issue in my life...I wasn't treated as an autonomous person so I don't know how to gift that to myself and others at all times.  I am getting better at this...but when I start to feel the old wound of jealousy creep up or when I feel defensive about B or I feel possessive of him...then I know I have stopped honoring his autonomy and have slid into codependency or aspects of narcissism (both were displayed to me by my parents so I understand why i slip into them).  In the same vein..anytime I try to people please or think or feel that i must act or do things perfectly to be lovable or I ignore my needs and do not establish boundaries to earn or keep love, then I am not honoring my autonomy and am slipping into a pattern where I don't matter as much as others (also demonstrated by my parents).  I think for me...right now I am just noticing these shifts and acknowledging them without judgement and with compassion..it is not always easy...but I do believe that noticing this will help me to shift into better appreciation for my autonomy as well as respecting the autonomy of others.