Post by tnr9 on Nov 6, 2018 4:13:07 GMT
I had been noticing recently that a friend of mine was avoiding me the last couple of times we were in group settings. Tonight I called her to ask why and she explained that she had lost trust in me because I had accidentally shared things that were not meant to be shared and this was a pattern that she had tried to call out, but it seemed to keep coming back up and so she has decided to distance herself from me. I thanked her for her honesty and apologized....but for now there is a rift. Being AP, I have been struggling against all kinds of feelings of guilt (thankfully not shame). Unfortunately I do have a bit of a blind spot in this area that I am working on. So right now, since I can't do anything to change her perception of me,I am left with trying to change the internal tape that says that I was "bad" and that any normal person would have been aware andnotmade such a foolish mistake...but that tape doesn't help me to grow. I did delete her phone number so that I would not be tempted to try to reach out when I feel like I need to over apologize....and. I am going to let her reach out if/when she is ever ready. It just sucks to have so many life lessons hitting me all at once. I would really like them a bit more spread out.
