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Post by Hypatia on Dec 25, 2021 15:22:48 GMT
Over 2 months NC with my FA ex who just up and left (1 year relationship and living together) and was very cruel when he did so.
I expected, a part of me anyway, he might reach out during the holidays. Apologize? Probably not. Send a message? Yeah I sort of thought. I’m a expat living abroad and my god it’s hitting me hard. So hard.
One last milestone to get over? It’s been better, working with a therapist to be more secure, but the discard hurts so much so much so much.
Just wanted to get that out. It’s an immense amount of pain. I’m not breaking NC, but my heart is very very heavy. I know the holidays must be hard for everyone. I hope you’re all hanging in there!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2021 16:24:21 GMT
The holidays are hard for me, and I don't celebrate them for many reasons not least of which I don't resonate with the celebration practices popular today. I have a lot of very painful memories from the holiday season, childhood and forward and I feel the memories in my body I guess. This year is difficult because a young friend of the family died tragically and my son was there, trying to help him. This is the second Christmas without him. The mother of the boy is in anguish at the holidays and I am here to talk with her, receive her pain, and offer her support. The grief feels fresh. Holidays remind me that suffering is great in this world, and I feel humbled and sober in recognition of that. I try to pass the day quietly and remember those who are in pain, be thankful for what I have knowing nothing is promised to any of us. It's good for you to come here and express it Hypatia. Do you have anyone you can spend time with who understands you? |
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Post by tnr9 on Dec 25, 2021 16:36:29 GMT
Over 2 months NC with my FA ex who just up and left (1 year relationship and living together) and was very cruel when he did so. I expected, a part of me anyway, he might reach out during the holidays. Apologize? Probably not. Send a message? Yeah I sort of thought. I’m a expat living abroad and my god it’s hitting me hard. So hard. One last milestone to get over? It’s been better, working with a therapist to be more secure, but the discard hurts so much so much so much. Just wanted to get that out. It’s an immense amount of pain. I’m not breaking NC, but my heart is very very heavy. I know the holidays must be hard for everyone. I hope you’re all hanging in there! I am sorry you are hurting. One thing that helped me was to change how I phrased speaking of the guy I dated. I do not refer to him as my ex, just “the guy I dated” because in that phrasing there is no negative association. I used to get messages but that just prolonged the time it took for me to get over him. So I do think it is a blessing that the guy you dated did not reach out. |
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Post by Hypatia on Dec 25, 2021 16:56:56 GMT
The holidays are hard for me, and I don't celebrate them for many reasons not least of which I don't resonate with the celebration practices popular today. I have a lot of very painful memories from the holiday season, childhood and forward and I feel the memories in my body I guess. This year is difficult because a young friend of the family died tragically and my son was there, trying to help him. This is the second Christmas without him. The mother of the boy is in anguish at the holidays and I am here to talk with her, receive her pain, and offer her support. The grief feels fresh. Holidays remind me that suffering is great in this world, and I feel humbled and sober in recognition of that. I try to pass the day quietly and remember those who are in pain, be thankful for what I have knowing nothing is promised to any of us. It's good for you to come here and express it Hypatia. Do you have anyone you can spend time with who understands you? I have an amazing network of friends. I’m just being whiny, TBH. You’re mentally is a good one! |
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Post by Hypatia on Dec 25, 2021 17:15:05 GMT
Over 2 months NC with my FA ex who just up and left (1 year relationship and living together) and was very cruel when he did so. I expected, a part of me anyway, he might reach out during the holidays. Apologize? Probably not. Send a message? Yeah I sort of thought. I’m a expat living abroad and my god it’s hitting me hard. So hard. One last milestone to get over? It’s been better, working with a therapist to be more secure, but the discard hurts so much so much so much. Just wanted to get that out. It’s an immense amount of pain. I’m not breaking NC, but my heart is very very heavy. I know the holidays must be hard for everyone. I hope you’re all hanging in there! I am sorry you are hurting. One thing that helped me was to change how I phrased speaking of the guy I dated. I do not refer to him as my ex, just “the guy I dated” because in that phrasing there is no negative association. I used to get messages but that just prolonged the time it took for me to get over him. So I do think it is a blessing that the guy you dated did not reach out. It’s probably a blessing. You’re right. But my god it hurts!! |
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Post by Hypatia on Dec 25, 2021 17:20:51 GMT
The holidays are hard for me, and I don't celebrate them for many reasons not least of which I don't resonate with the celebration practices popular today. I have a lot of very painful memories from the holiday season, childhood and forward and I feel the memories in my body I guess. This year is difficult because a young friend of the family died tragically and my son was there, trying to help him. This is the second Christmas without him. The mother of the boy is in anguish at the holidays and I am here to talk with her, receive her pain, and offer her support. The grief feels fresh. Holidays remind me that suffering is great in this world, and I feel humbled and sober in recognition of that. I try to pass the day quietly and remember those who are in pain, be thankful for what I have knowing nothing is promised to any of us. It's good for you to come here and express it Hypatia. Do you have anyone you can spend time with who understands you? I’m so so sorry. I lost my parents years ago so I can sympathize! I’m sorry. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2021 17:26:03 GMT
I notice that anne just posted about grief during the holidays, it's a good read. I like to study philosophy in the extra time I have around the holidays, it's really comforting and inspiring to me. Hope everyone does what they find most meaningful to them and passes on that which is not!  |
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Post by Hypatia on Dec 25, 2021 17:39:00 GMT
I notice that anne just posted about grief during the holidays, it's a good read. I like to study philosophy in the extra time I have around the holidays, it's really comforting and inspiring to me. Hope everyone does what they find most meaningful to them and passes on that which is not! I’m doing a PhD in philosophy haha So, it’s not so fun in my down time! |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2021 17:44:11 GMT
I notice that anne just posted about grief during the holidays, it's a good read. I like to study philosophy in the extra time I have around the holidays, it's really comforting and inspiring to me. Hope everyone does what they find most meaningful to them and passes on that which is not! I’m doing a PhD in philosophy haha So, it’s not so fun in my down time! Why ruin a good thing? 😂 |
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Post by Hypatia on Dec 25, 2021 18:01:26 GMT
I’m doing a PhD in philosophy haha So, it’s not so fun in my down time! Why ruin a good thing? 😂 Reading 4 books on Hegel....shoot me! Haha |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2021 18:54:25 GMT
Reading 4 books on Hegel....shoot me! Haha No doubt! Philosophy as academic pursuit is unappealing to me, but as a means of self growth and understanding is a favorite pastime of mine. |
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