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Post by summer on Dec 20, 2017 17:04:49 GMT
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Post by flowerpoww on Dec 20, 2017 18:09:39 GMT
He doesn't like to share his interests openly. He has no hobbies except for smoking weed and drinking after work, maybe a trip to his friend's weekend house or the museum once in a while. Perfectionist. Minimalist. Basically only likes neutral colors, white, beige, black. Simple. Likes a lot of top 40, nothing too complicated.
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Post by serene13 on Dec 20, 2017 18:17:47 GMT
He doesn't like to share his interests openly. He has no hobbies except for smoking weed and drinking after work, maybe a trip to his friend's weekend house or the museum once in a while. Perfectionist. Minimalist. Basically only likes neutral colors, white, beige, black. Simple. Likes a lot of top 40, nothing too complicated. The DA/FA I knew had some specific likes, but like yours - was a minimalist, not interested in material things, wore only black, navy blue, gray - also a perfectionist - and a nihilist. Says he never has a bad day or is unhappy.  He does, however, like money. |
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Post by flowerpoww on Dec 20, 2017 18:26:36 GMT
He doesn't like to share his interests openly. He has no hobbies except for smoking weed and drinking after work, maybe a trip to his friend's weekend house or the museum once in a while. Perfectionist. Minimalist. Basically only likes neutral colors, white, beige, black. Simple. Likes a lot of top 40, nothing too complicated. The DA/FA I knew had some specific likes, but like yours - was a minimalist, not interested in material things, wore only black, navy blue, gray - also a perfectionist - and a nihilist. Says he never has a bad day or is unhappy. He does, however, like money. I hang around artsy type people so I do see that whole minimalistic thing as being a distinct style, but with him it always just seemed like a cop out. It was just the least effort he could put into anything resembling personal taste, so he went with it and passed it off as him having very discerning tastes. He didn't seem to have a strong identity, or at least, he never let me see it. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2017 18:34:50 GMT
Minimalist yes - no attachments to anything. I am a Buddhist and initially we seemed similar in this way - both not into material things, not interested in fashion etc I now see that he took on my identity in many ways - reading the same books, bought the same car, mirrored my taste in many things. I wonder if part of the fear of engulfment resulted from not having a firm identity of his own and therefore getting lost in his partner's?
Wierdly we both go for monochrome clothes, simple taste in homes, simple life in general.
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cate
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Post by cate on Dec 20, 2017 21:17:53 GMT
Ocarina - my ex was like that. At first. I’m also Buddhist so I try not to get attached to things. I try and be compassionate. My ex seemed into this at first and took on a lot of my interests. But when he started withdrawing in earnest it became very selfish.
He did have likes of his own which then Pre dominated. He liked video games. Anime. Pop music. So he had that but seemed willing to try my interests for a while. Then it just became all about him.
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Post by stellar1969 on Dec 21, 2017 17:10:53 GMT
Mine has very specific tastes in music, like Rap a lot and was a raver in the day. He shops at Goodwill, but always finds brand name clothes and would often be excited to show them to me. We discussed shows and films a lot and he also had his favorites there.
He has one hobby that was always put before time with me, but we had an agreement about that.
What I found most troubling about this was that he hasn't real made any new friends since college, he's 38. The friends he does his hobby with are his older brothers friends. The friends he works with and for are from high school. The woman that he thinks he is in love with is his high school friends younger brothers ex wife.
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He does, however, like money.