Post by summer on Dec 24, 2017 13:07:18 GMT
Mine has this incredibly irritating habit, which I realize is likely part of being an avoidant, of acting sometimes indifferent or unconcerned when I share things about myself. Last night we were sitting on my couch, and I mentioned that for me, last year was the worst Thanksgiving ever (it really was too). He wasn't in my life then. You could hear crickets chirping. Then he eventually starts talking about something else.
Earlier in the day, we were in the car, and I shared something about my music interests, which could have triggered a lively discussion between us about music, but again it was the crickets chirping, and then a subject change.
When these moments happen, I end up feeling invalidated and rejected. He doesn't always do this, but it is an irritating pattern. I just think that acting unconcerned when your partner is attempting to open up and share, is effing rude! I dated a man ten years ago, just for a couple of months, who I now know was a classic FA, and he did this same exact thing: acting indifferent sometimes when I would try and share about myself. No follow-up questions, or other indicators of interest, that people show when they care. It would just be silence, and then he would start talking about something else.
Does your DA do this too? How do you manage it? Do you (gently) point it out to them? Do you just let it slide? What's your advice?
Earlier in the day, we were in the car, and I shared something about my music interests, which could have triggered a lively discussion between us about music, but again it was the crickets chirping, and then a subject change.
When these moments happen, I end up feeling invalidated and rejected. He doesn't always do this, but it is an irritating pattern. I just think that acting unconcerned when your partner is attempting to open up and share, is effing rude! I dated a man ten years ago, just for a couple of months, who I now know was a classic FA, and he did this same exact thing: acting indifferent sometimes when I would try and share about myself. No follow-up questions, or other indicators of interest, that people show when they care. It would just be silence, and then he would start talking about something else.
Does your DA do this too? How do you manage it? Do you (gently) point it out to them? Do you just let it slide? What's your advice?
