Post by anne12 on May 23, 2018 7:57:35 GMT
Relationships are those that give meaning and purpose to our lives! -Brené Brown
How willing are you to be vulnerable?
Vulnerable as in that you dare stand out like the one you are. Good and bad.
That you dare show your brilliant sides of yourself.
But also all your imperfections.
Because it's a human condition not to be perfect, but at the same time being unique. Something special. Only you can be you. Completely authentic and authentic like you
Back to vulnerability.
Brené Brown researches in human relations.
She has found that those who live a wholehearted life have good relationships that they experience to belong to.
- They have the courage to be imperfect
- They have enough compassion with themselves, to take care of themselves first and then to take care of others
- They have relationships and attachments as a result of being authentic. They are willing to drop what they should be, to be who they are!
They are convinced that vulnerability is a necessity. And that vulnerability makes them beautiful
- They know that one must be willing to be the first to reach the contact and say, for example, "I love you!". Even though there is no guarantee of a positive response
They experience being worth loving
All 3 points are aspects of the safe connection form.
When you land in understanding - that love and affiliation worth your birthright and not something that you deserve is all possible! -Brené Brown
Why do many people have problems with being vulnerable?
Now, when vulnerability is what creates healthy, nourishing relationships and an experience of belonging to those who are significant to us - why is it so difficult for many?
These relationships, ie affiliation, are our deepest needs as human beings!
Which becomes a cramp and longing if we do not have it.
And as new studies show, the deeper cause of addictions - so when we do not experience the connection!
Many people dare not be vulnerable. The ultra short explanation is shame.
It's hard to be vulnerable where we feel insufficient and not good enough (ashamed - and no, you may not think about it as shame.
At the same time, the only effective cure for shame is that we dare to be vulnerable and share what we are ashamed of. Share shame with people who can be loving with it.
Vulnerability is NOT weakness!
Vulnerability is to take emotional risks, to be exhibited and to let go of control.
Vulnerability is the most accurate way to measure! -Brené Brown
Can you see how it's either the evil spiral - or the good: if we dare be vulnerable to our inadequacies, and the other takes good care of shame. It can not withstand the loving light. Therefore, we are better able to be vulnerable in our relationships.
Conversely, when we are ashamed without having the resources to share the shame in a loving light - we develop different defense mechanisms, not to notice it.
The most common methods of damaging the feeling of shame and thus also the vulnerability are that we ...
are perfects
overeating and drinking
working too much
Buying stuff to hide
plays too much
exaggerates browsing the Internet and social media
smoking
become in love or sex dependent
reflects our parenting role
overusing medicines and other substances
all according to Brene Brown's research - to avoid feeling the vulnerability and the shame that follow in the wake of it. The real problem is that we can not seduce the unwanted feelings without we also stunning the feelings we appreciate as joy, gratitude, happiness, love.
When we anesthetize the vulnerability, we rob ALL feelings! - Brené Brown
It makes us feel miserable. We are going to miss the meaning of life!
And then the anesthesia drives again - that is, the "abuse" in one form or another.
It's the negative spiral.
What can you do, do you think.
Ask yourself:
Why and how do I anesthetize my vulnerability (and the shame)?
What does it mean that I dare to be vulnerable?
Who would be best at practicing me?
Brené recommendation for you:
Let yourself be seen by others completely as you are
Risks to love others with all your heart, although there is no guarantee of love retaliation
Practice being grateful for what is - rather than making disaster thoughts about what may not be happening or not happening
Believe that you are good enough as you are!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8Pp7QB6GrE&index=7&list=PL6StD5HhGmVVM4Goruc-rFusfG140VJ-x
Fear of intimacy, voulnarbility::(0n a scale,from,1-10’)
1) Affraid of being seen
2) Feel unable to accept help and support afraod of being a burden
3) Fear of loosing sence of self
4)
5) Fear of commitmemt
6) Feeling of repulsing - pushing love away
7) Voulnarbility hangover
8) Feeling love and security feels boring
9) That you have to be perfect and you, always have to be on
10) Self-sabotaging
11)
FA
- a burden - shamefull - unworthy - abandom - loose myself
AP
- abandom - boundaries - disconnected - unloved
DA
- shame - unworthy - hopeless - pain and suffering - trapped - have to give my energy to others - people wont show up anyway -
1) Goal with voulnability
2) Break down into tiny steps
3) Commitment one per day
4) Feel the safety of taking action
1) Goal with voulnability 2) Break down into tiny steps 3) Commitment one per day 4) Feel the safety of taking action
1) Career
2); Finances
3) Mental - opinions, ideas, thoughts
4) Emotional - dump, overexpress
5) Spiritual, religion
6) Relationships
How willing are you to be vulnerable?
Vulnerable as in that you dare stand out like the one you are. Good and bad.
That you dare show your brilliant sides of yourself.
But also all your imperfections.
Because it's a human condition not to be perfect, but at the same time being unique. Something special. Only you can be you. Completely authentic and authentic like you
Back to vulnerability.
Brené Brown researches in human relations.
She has found that those who live a wholehearted life have good relationships that they experience to belong to.
- They have the courage to be imperfect
- They have enough compassion with themselves, to take care of themselves first and then to take care of others
- They have relationships and attachments as a result of being authentic. They are willing to drop what they should be, to be who they are!
They are convinced that vulnerability is a necessity. And that vulnerability makes them beautiful
- They know that one must be willing to be the first to reach the contact and say, for example, "I love you!". Even though there is no guarantee of a positive response
They experience being worth loving
All 3 points are aspects of the safe connection form.
When you land in understanding - that love and affiliation worth your birthright and not something that you deserve is all possible! -Brené Brown
Why do many people have problems with being vulnerable?
Now, when vulnerability is what creates healthy, nourishing relationships and an experience of belonging to those who are significant to us - why is it so difficult for many?
These relationships, ie affiliation, are our deepest needs as human beings!
Which becomes a cramp and longing if we do not have it.
And as new studies show, the deeper cause of addictions - so when we do not experience the connection!
Many people dare not be vulnerable. The ultra short explanation is shame.
It's hard to be vulnerable where we feel insufficient and not good enough (ashamed - and no, you may not think about it as shame.
At the same time, the only effective cure for shame is that we dare to be vulnerable and share what we are ashamed of. Share shame with people who can be loving with it.
Vulnerability is NOT weakness!
Vulnerability is to take emotional risks, to be exhibited and to let go of control.
Vulnerability is the most accurate way to measure! -Brené Brown
Can you see how it's either the evil spiral - or the good: if we dare be vulnerable to our inadequacies, and the other takes good care of shame. It can not withstand the loving light. Therefore, we are better able to be vulnerable in our relationships.
Conversely, when we are ashamed without having the resources to share the shame in a loving light - we develop different defense mechanisms, not to notice it.
The most common methods of damaging the feeling of shame and thus also the vulnerability are that we ...
are perfects
overeating and drinking
working too much
Buying stuff to hide
plays too much
exaggerates browsing the Internet and social media
smoking
become in love or sex dependent
reflects our parenting role
overusing medicines and other substances
all according to Brene Brown's research - to avoid feeling the vulnerability and the shame that follow in the wake of it. The real problem is that we can not seduce the unwanted feelings without we also stunning the feelings we appreciate as joy, gratitude, happiness, love.
When we anesthetize the vulnerability, we rob ALL feelings! - Brené Brown
It makes us feel miserable. We are going to miss the meaning of life!
And then the anesthesia drives again - that is, the "abuse" in one form or another.
It's the negative spiral.
What can you do, do you think.
Ask yourself:
Why and how do I anesthetize my vulnerability (and the shame)?
What does it mean that I dare to be vulnerable?
Who would be best at practicing me?
Brené recommendation for you:
Let yourself be seen by others completely as you are
Risks to love others with all your heart, although there is no guarantee of love retaliation
Practice being grateful for what is - rather than making disaster thoughts about what may not be happening or not happening
Believe that you are good enough as you are!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8Pp7QB6GrE&index=7&list=PL6StD5HhGmVVM4Goruc-rFusfG140VJ-x
Fear of intimacy, voulnarbility::(0n a scale,from,1-10’)
1) Affraid of being seen
2) Feel unable to accept help and support afraod of being a burden
3) Fear of loosing sence of self
4)
5) Fear of commitmemt
6) Feeling of repulsing - pushing love away
7) Voulnarbility hangover
8) Feeling love and security feels boring
9) That you have to be perfect and you, always have to be on
10) Self-sabotaging
11)
FA
- a burden - shamefull - unworthy - abandom - loose myself
AP
- abandom - boundaries - disconnected - unloved
DA
- shame - unworthy - hopeless - pain and suffering - trapped - have to give my energy to others - people wont show up anyway -
1) Goal with voulnability
2) Break down into tiny steps
3) Commitment one per day
4) Feel the safety of taking action
1) Goal with voulnability 2) Break down into tiny steps 3) Commitment one per day 4) Feel the safety of taking action
1) Career
2); Finances
3) Mental - opinions, ideas, thoughts
4) Emotional - dump, overexpress
5) Spiritual, religion
6) Relationships
