Post by mistakes on May 28, 2018 12:54:48 GMT
What I learn from the internet is, to stay friends with FA, the summary I get is be consistent and don’t go. It seems that some people manage to reconnect with FA again which gave me hope, but I am too confued about what is happening, because my ex seems more than FA?
The last time he broke our “friend thing” was a month ago, since he said “let’s end 😢 you’ll be in misery if we keep going”, and he read all my what’s app messages without any response. I did the once a week texting thing, just to share nice things in life, and yesterday, I said it would make me happy if he would give me an emoji, and I miss him. He did gave me an 💪🏻, which surprised me! But it stays a one way communication, but it seems that he is online chatting with other people without problem.
Please give me some advise on how to get pass this stage? Do I need to keep asking for his reply or he would do so on his own will? Because it seems in the forum that, when the FA turn around, they don’t act this sort of responsive? Perhaps it is because the issue is not just about FA? I’ll try to give a rough picture of us, if that helps...
We met 10 months ago from some volenteer work for a week, he seems a friendly person that doesn’t talk much. After 5 months we met again and he approached me and said that he wanted a soulmate, but he told me not to get so close to him, because the closer people are with him, the less he would talk. After that we sort of dated a few times and got together. At the beginning he said he doesn’t celebrate special days, won’t take care of me when I’m sick, etc. It was odd but I thought he was just joking, he said with a smile that without expectatiosn, I might be happier if things happens. After a few days I got a fever and he rushed to my house looked so worried, so I really thought that he was just kidding.
We were happy for a few dates, but he never let me know anything about him when I ask, not even his favourite food. He said he doesn’t trust himself nor like himself, he just lies when people ask things about him so he doesn’t want to lie to me. He did told me a little about him when he wanted to.
He brok up with me after we were together for 1 week, because he was scared that he would hurt me one day, cause he doubt if he loves me. But he cried and asked to be friends，he told me a few things about him that I asked before, and he said he never told anyone about those things, which was not some secrets by the way. He said he might be able to open up if we are just friends, and that he was tired from lying to himself all the time. But after that, our relationship stayed the same，except he gradually respond less, stoped doing activities that bind us together, but he initiated sex and felt bad about it each time.
Why I said the issue might be more than FA? He told me on our second date that he quite school early and stayed home until he needed money, so he started working. I can take care of myself fianancially, so maybe that was one of his concern?
He never talk to any friend about his troubles, and he said he is not good at responding to people. The first few times he said that it takes time for him to process my sentimental messages, which was much shorter than this message that I’m writing now.
The first meal that we had together, he finished it up very quickly with looking at his mobile only, then he ran to the sofa and rest, letting me wondering by myself at the table. He didn’t seems to have problem socialising when we have meals with friends! He would blame me for comparing with others and not trusting that he treat me better.
Another odd thing is that, I never met anyone having problem expressing their thoughts to his degree. The first time he expressed himself, was the night we broke up. One night he looked troubled and said he had something to tell me, I wait for him to tell me, it took him an hour in silent but was trying to get a word out of his mouth. He tried so hard that his eyes turned red but the word just didn’t came out. So I started guessing and he kept shaking his head, until both of us got very emotional for 4 hours, I went a bit crazy and he asked me to stop guessing for it made me more painful. Until he finally said “I should leave you”. But he wanted to stay friend with me, cause he realised that we only known each other’s for half a year, yet I was the person that ever got so close to him.
we ended up broke up 3 times, each time happens when I share my worries or needs to build our relationship, he would break up, but that would be the only moment that he would share his feelings for me, but it would also be too late to know that he cares more than I felt it! But each time after the break up, he would share with less words, and in a more distance way.
The last break up he did, I never imagine he would put a 😢emoji, since he was in silent for a week and respond less and less, so I thought that he was sick of our friendship. The reason why we broke up, was that we got together intimately after we broke up the second time and said to be just friend. He seemed very happy and even send me messages. But right on the next day, I accidentally saw him walking with another girl, we were both shocked but said hello, then I texted him to ask what was happening? He was upset that I didn’t trust him and didn’t want to explain things. Then he went in silent for a while, and wasn’t replying much after the silent. I told him that I need a clear answer if he still want to be friends, cause it was becoming stressful for his not so much response, and that’s when he said “let’s end😢”
I didn’t expect that he would reply after I tell him that I miss him. I would like to be a friend to support him, but knowing that he would text with others, it is confusing about what he has been telling me. If he had friends that he enjoy chatting, why did he ask me to be his soulmate? I’m confused about the distance that we have, is it building trust slowly? I don’t dare to walk away cause he always seems to care about us mote than what he is showing.
Please help!
The last time he broke our “friend thing” was a month ago, since he said “let’s end 😢 you’ll be in misery if we keep going”, and he read all my what’s app messages without any response. I did the once a week texting thing, just to share nice things in life, and yesterday, I said it would make me happy if he would give me an emoji, and I miss him. He did gave me an 💪🏻, which surprised me! But it stays a one way communication, but it seems that he is online chatting with other people without problem.
Please give me some advise on how to get pass this stage? Do I need to keep asking for his reply or he would do so on his own will? Because it seems in the forum that, when the FA turn around, they don’t act this sort of responsive? Perhaps it is because the issue is not just about FA? I’ll try to give a rough picture of us, if that helps...
We met 10 months ago from some volenteer work for a week, he seems a friendly person that doesn’t talk much. After 5 months we met again and he approached me and said that he wanted a soulmate, but he told me not to get so close to him, because the closer people are with him, the less he would talk. After that we sort of dated a few times and got together. At the beginning he said he doesn’t celebrate special days, won’t take care of me when I’m sick, etc. It was odd but I thought he was just joking, he said with a smile that without expectatiosn, I might be happier if things happens. After a few days I got a fever and he rushed to my house looked so worried, so I really thought that he was just kidding.
We were happy for a few dates, but he never let me know anything about him when I ask, not even his favourite food. He said he doesn’t trust himself nor like himself, he just lies when people ask things about him so he doesn’t want to lie to me. He did told me a little about him when he wanted to.
He brok up with me after we were together for 1 week, because he was scared that he would hurt me one day, cause he doubt if he loves me. But he cried and asked to be friends，he told me a few things about him that I asked before, and he said he never told anyone about those things, which was not some secrets by the way. He said he might be able to open up if we are just friends, and that he was tired from lying to himself all the time. But after that, our relationship stayed the same，except he gradually respond less, stoped doing activities that bind us together, but he initiated sex and felt bad about it each time.
Why I said the issue might be more than FA? He told me on our second date that he quite school early and stayed home until he needed money, so he started working. I can take care of myself fianancially, so maybe that was one of his concern?
He never talk to any friend about his troubles, and he said he is not good at responding to people. The first few times he said that it takes time for him to process my sentimental messages, which was much shorter than this message that I’m writing now.
The first meal that we had together, he finished it up very quickly with looking at his mobile only, then he ran to the sofa and rest, letting me wondering by myself at the table. He didn’t seems to have problem socialising when we have meals with friends! He would blame me for comparing with others and not trusting that he treat me better.
Another odd thing is that, I never met anyone having problem expressing their thoughts to his degree. The first time he expressed himself, was the night we broke up. One night he looked troubled and said he had something to tell me, I wait for him to tell me, it took him an hour in silent but was trying to get a word out of his mouth. He tried so hard that his eyes turned red but the word just didn’t came out. So I started guessing and he kept shaking his head, until both of us got very emotional for 4 hours, I went a bit crazy and he asked me to stop guessing for it made me more painful. Until he finally said “I should leave you”. But he wanted to stay friend with me, cause he realised that we only known each other’s for half a year, yet I was the person that ever got so close to him.
we ended up broke up 3 times, each time happens when I share my worries or needs to build our relationship, he would break up, but that would be the only moment that he would share his feelings for me, but it would also be too late to know that he cares more than I felt it! But each time after the break up, he would share with less words, and in a more distance way.
The last break up he did, I never imagine he would put a 😢emoji, since he was in silent for a week and respond less and less, so I thought that he was sick of our friendship. The reason why we broke up, was that we got together intimately after we broke up the second time and said to be just friend. He seemed very happy and even send me messages. But right on the next day, I accidentally saw him walking with another girl, we were both shocked but said hello, then I texted him to ask what was happening? He was upset that I didn’t trust him and didn’t want to explain things. Then he went in silent for a while, and wasn’t replying much after the silent. I told him that I need a clear answer if he still want to be friends, cause it was becoming stressful for his not so much response, and that’s when he said “let’s end😢”
I didn’t expect that he would reply after I tell him that I miss him. I would like to be a friend to support him, but knowing that he would text with others, it is confusing about what he has been telling me. If he had friends that he enjoy chatting, why did he ask me to be his soulmate? I’m confused about the distance that we have, is it building trust slowly? I don’t dare to walk away cause he always seems to care about us mote than what he is showing.
Please help!
