Post by happy on Jun 14, 2018 2:44:19 GMT
Background - I met this girl in my yearbook class my last year of high school (this year). We eventually go on a yearbook camp trip to help us learn the in’s and out’s of yearbook & she approached me and started making small talk with me as I’m pretty introverted and she is the most upbeat girl in almost any room you put her. We hit it off and we’re flirting the rest of the camp and everybody else said they could see it.
Fast forward a little bit, it’s going well, texting every day, invited me to meet her whole friend group. While I was meeting her friend group we went to this festival she wasn’t distant but she didn’t act like I was there because of her, but like I was just part of the whole friend group and there was no tie between me and her.
Fast forward again, her friend has a back to school party and invites me. The girl I’m interested in made no effort to speak to me at the party unless I went up to her and only came to interact with me when this model chick came over to flirt with me, as soon as the girl stopped she would leave. I was on LSD so this party was a little too much for me and I left without saying bye to anyone. Comes the next morning and she asks me why I never said bye to her. I was thinking in my head because it didn’t seem like you really cared if I was there or not, but I just said cuz the LSD was too much, which it was I just didn’t say everything I thought maybe I was just being too needy.
When school starts we have the same class period for yearbook together, but we never spoke because she was very loud and in the mix while never making an effort to talk to me. I stayed in the back corner and was on my phone or read. That being we never spoke unless it was an actual meetup, we decided to do lunch, or over the phone/social media. We’re on FaceTime and she asks me why I never talk to her in class, I was confused because she never made an effort to talk to me and never seemed to really care so I just asked her if she wanted me to and so I did. She received it well turned her whole body towards me and feet and face lit up.
About two or three months in she uploads pictures of us onto her social media and all her followers go crazy because I’m known as a the “hot quiet guy” at my school and no one really knows anything about me except my tight knit group of friends. People ask her is that her boyfriend and she responds “wooo nah nah” on her Instagram. Which is fine because technically we were just dating, but as things go on people start asking her in real life while I’m next to her and she’ll respond as “just friends” which I know dang well I ain’t tryna be just a friend, but since we’re not together I let it slide maybe she’s just not ready. Time goes on people start saying things to us when they see us together and we happen to be matching clothes like “awww relationship goals” “are you guys dating?” She’d then either freeze up and get really awkward or get frustrated and tell them we’re not dating, I just laughed it off.
Homecoming comes up, I ask her to homecoming, her friends were excited and she got out of her car really happy and hugged me. I got her food for the proposal cuz she’s a foodie and it was a pun. We go to homecoming it’s whatever but as we leave she goes to hold hands with me. This is the first intimate contact we’ve had in the 3 months we’ve known each other aside from flirty touching and “accidentally” bumping into each other as we walk aside one another.
After homecoming I felt we became closer, anyways I ask her to come to my house just to hangout and she agrees. Comes the day we hangout she tells me “i think im just gonna hangout at the house today :l” I just tell her ok, I was kind of annoyed though. Couple weeks or so later we decide to get breakfast. She only leaves her house at the time we decided to actually meet up. I’m pissed because that’s just completely disrespectful and I text telling her why wouldnt she let me know earlier she was gonna be late. She arrived and we were talking about studying after breakfast. I suggested my house or library and she said not my house again, but agreed on the library. We leave in our separate cars to go to the library and she texts me saying “ i think I’m just gonna study at my house, thanks for putting up with my indecisiveness” again I’m kinda pissed because it really doesn’t seem like she likes me because she keeps bailing on stuff we agree to do but at the same time keeps inviting me to do stuff and not always bailing on things.
We decide to do some edibles and we skip class and SHE LAYS HER HEAD ON MY SHOULDER AND LAYS HER LEGS ACROSS MINE AS WERE SITTING ON THE BENCH this is some new shit with her as she was not very touchy so I’m put my arm around her we’re just talking. She goes on to tell me her dad left her before she was born and she feels unheard and not understood by her mom and her mom doesn’t trust her and she said trust is a big thing for her in relationships. Her mom is a traditional Chinese immigrant business woman, controlling & cold. I remember when I met her friends and we were driving back from the event her mom yelled at her for 25 minutes on the phone telling her to come back in Chinese and asking if there was any boys.
Another instance, We were getting lunch, I was going out of the country and I needed some paperwork signed by my dad to allow me and we weren’t on the best terms at that time. So I thought bringing a girl to dinner to meet him would butter him up because he always asked why I didn’t have a gf and asked if I was gay sometimes. So I said “can you do me a favor? I know we’re not dating but can you come to dinner with me and my dad” and explained that whole situation to her. To my surprise she agreed probably because I said the “not dating” part and I felt any relationship talk around her was off limits. We do dinner, it’s great, but something to note she isn’t talkative AT ALL. Like probably said nothing. This isn’t her, she told me before hand that she was really nervous. My dad was going to an event downtown and offered us to come along, I asked her she said no she has to go home and clean the house before her mom comes home China. I said ok and dropped her off. I get home and I text thanks for doing that for me blah blah. She said some stuff and then texts me “WE SHOULDVE GONE
(“ I’m pissed again but didn’t say anything except “i know” like does this girl have any idea what she wants to do at the time.
——Break Up——
She invites me to her joint birthday party. I arrive and say hi to her and hug her. She seems weirded out and awkward and gives me the sidiest of hugs. We talk for like 1 minute we split up. AGAIN, she makes no effort to talk to me, but has enough time to talk to anyone at that party whether she knew them or not, but had no time to talk to me again. The only time we talked was when I made an effort and she went from her ecstatic self to very quiet awakard reserved self. They planned to go to Waffle House after the party, but I was already pissed that she didn’t make any efforts or look like she even wanted to talk to me when I took time out of my day and from hanging out with my friend to come to her birthday party that she invited me to like on the first date we ever went on. I left and on my way home she texted me “if I’m ok”. I said “yeah”. She asked where I was and I said in my bed. Next day comes and she texts me say hey sorry I couldn’t talk to you yesterday there was just so many people at the party. This really pissed me off cuz 1. She knew she should’ve talked to me at the party 2. She made an excuse that “there was so many people at the party”. There was a lot of people at the party, but out of all them you put me on the last to interact with? Like, I felt like in public I was her last priority to even strangers. I don’t answer until later that night and I’m high and say “just don’t invite me next time”. We get in an argument, she’s real calm about it and was saying “sorry I was a bad host” “this is not an argument”, just seemed very cool calm and collected about it. I eventually tell her I’m over it. Then BOOM. I get this long paragraph basically saying let’s just be friends. She said “at first I wanted to be your girlfriend, but now I don’t think I can anymore” I read in a book call “Love: science of adult atttacthment theory” that saying is an avoidants defense mechanism, basically at first when the intimacy wasn’t there, so she was comfortable and excited, as we got closer she started devaluing me and that why she thinks she can’t do it anymore. It basically sounded like a whole bunch of clichés. I just can’t be in a relationship right now. I’m afraid I might hurt you. You deserve someone better. She also said that she wanted to be friends because she really cares about me and doesn’t want to lose me. I never begged, I just asked her why she wanted to just be friends because her reasons were contradictory. She sent me a whole mother’s bs paragraph that still didn’t clear a dang thing up so I just said “you’re right”. I did agree to be her friend but later decided I couldn’t handle that so I deleted all her social media and her number.
A week goes by and she texts me “(my name)...” I say hi, she says “the last thing I want is for you to hate me”. I just tell her no hard feelings, I didn’t sign up to be her male girlfriend, and call me if she changes her mind. She never responds.
——POST BREAKUP——
I unfollowed her and deleted her off everything. She kept me on everything. I upload some pictures on Instagram about 1-2 months after she “broke up” with me she’s starts liking them after not liking my other pictures. I post a Snapchat story she views them. Then after those two pictures she went silent and never interacted with my social media again other than viewing my Snapchat stories. I notice she’s unfollows my instagram with her main account one day. She keeps following me on her food account and still has me added on Snapchat. I upload a picture with a girl boom she unfollows me on her food account. I’m scratching my head cuz why would she unfollow me slowly like that, especially after uploading the picture with the girl. Cut to graduation I’m going to a pre-game this girl invited me to that my “ex” was kind of friends with. Before we go into the party she tells me “yeah your ex said she was really nervous when she found out I was coming to the party” I’m thinking f*ck I didn’t know she was gonna be there and why was she nervous, we’ve seen eachother at school almost every day since she’s ended it and it’s been longer we’ve not been together than how long we were together (Been apart - 8 months / Knew eachother - only 5 months). I’m see her and get a drink which is directly next to her but I’m cordial but don’t say anything to her. She grabs the bottle after me and it almost seemed like she tried to grab or graze my hand, she could’ve been already drunk or whatever. I go to sit down next to this girl who was sitting alone on her phone and try to make conversation not trying to make her jealous or anything. I look from the side of my eye and my ex is standing in between this dudes legs that I knew (he’s pretty cool) and holding both his hands. Either I didn’t care or my social anxiety was overiding my nervous system and I continued on about the night. I look at a different angle of the room, they’re diagnolly from me sitting in the corner talking to each other. Again this not at the time, but thinking back on it made me feel some type of way. After all these parties she made absolutely no attempts to talk to me and now she’s sitting in a corner out of the crowd talking to this dude by themselves. We go to the club, we’re dancing and the guy went in a completely different vehicle than my ex to the club which was weird. We were talking and he gave me his ID to get in. I was 17. He then once we got drinks, asked me out of everyone if I had some of her friends numbers so he could find out where she was as they traveled in different vehicles. I think he knew we were kind of a thing, but I don’t know why he didn’t ask if I just had her number. Anyways, I give my phone to call her friend to find her, he leaves I go on about my night. We dance all night and comes closing time, THE GIRL I CAME WITH TO THE CLUB LEFT ME BY MYSELF AND I HAD TO WALK BACK, luckily it was one mile. The girl I was suppose to leave with FaceTimes me to see where I was and if I was there yet to let me in. Guess who comes in the camera..... my ex. She saw she was talking to me and grabbed the phone and asks me “do you hate me?” the same exact question she asked me after we “broke up”. I said of course not. We went on talking blah blah blah, was trying not to be rude as mixing my ex and already being angry I was left at the club drunk to walk home by myself at 2 in the morning isn’t a good mix. She asked if I’m coming back and I said no cuz that girl left me and I’m tired. She said no because I’m drunk and you shouldnt drive drunk. I was like I’ve done this before and to be honest not that drunk because I had danced it all out and walked it all out. She kept saying to me “don’t die” that specific phrase which I kept saying to her when she was staying in town for a really bad hurricane while me and my family were evacuating and most of the town was evacuating. She hen put me on pause for like 7 seconds. I hung up, got in my car, and left. Couple days later I see her while going to the mall and she says “hi” (my name) too me. I said hey back. This was really weird because this was the first sober interaction we had since the breakup face to face. The entire school year we completely ignored eachother if we were in proximity. Come again we happen to arrive at the coffee shop at the same time and she decides to park right next to me, I wave to her, idk if she saw me do that cuz her windows are really tinted. Note she still has me added on Snapchat and maybe still has my number but hasn’t used it since the last time we texted 8 months ago, but is now not viewing my snap stories.
—Why I think she’s FA and might miss me—
1. Her dad left her when she wasn’t even born and doesn’t really care about him
2. Mom is really cold and controlling and she said she doesn’t feel heard, understood, or trusted by her mom
3. She said she didn’t want to lose me and cares about me
4. “ I wanted to be your girlfriend, but I don’t think I can anymore”
5. She didn’t like to come to my house, I think she’s been over like 3 times and only stayed for like 1 hour at the most
6. She would always feel the need to get away from me “I need to go home and clean” and then when she was away from me she wanted to be close to me “we should’ve went(“
7. She said I deserve better and she’s afraid she might end up hurting me
8. She told me she does get attached to people easily
9. I forgot to mention, but I brought the relationship up one time and she said she was scared, but I didn’t ask her what she was scared of regratbly, but she said she felt better after having the relationship talk. I didn’t push it on her though.
10. She was generally very indecisve and had a problem committing to anything, me, to be on time, to a school.
11. She kept me on Instagram but slowly unfollowed me. Still has me on Snapchat but doesn’t view it
12. She was reminiscing when she got on FaceTime with me and that girl. “Don’t die” and she was talking about me driving high when we did edibles together and she was nervous at first
13. She wasn’t very affectionate. Furthest we got was like kinda cuddling but more like her putting her body weight on me.
14. She would talk to anyone but me at parties, but in private she was worried about me
15. She wouldn’t commit to me & it’s not like I wasn’t good enough, I’m an extremely sought after guy at my school, even one girl in her friend group made a post about how I was “the most photogenic in the yearbook class” and girls proceeded to drool over me in the comments and I’m really smart and financially stable for my age and was very caring attentive when she asked me of anything
15. Very excited about me at the beginning and spent lots of time together and slowly went down hill as time and intimacy went on
16. I think that guy is just her friend because on her Instagram she hasn’t uploaded any guys and I’m the only guy she’s posted on there that isn’t gay. I hypothesize maybe she was trying to make me jealous with him as I’ve never seen any pictures of him and her or with her friend group. He also came to ask me directly to go find her, which could be a way to make me jealous, maybe I’m looking too much into it
17. She was nervous to see me at the party when we’ve been seeing eachother every day for 8 months, so at least I make her feel some type of way when she sees me.
18. The first time she contacted me was drunk and on FaceTime, but then still cared to greet me in person sober when previously we ignored eachother
18. She would always show up in my 5th period to make up work when she missed class
19. Whenever we saw eachother she would immediately look at the ground and if she had a smile on her face it was gone in a split second. I remember she took our class picture in 5th period obviously I had to look at her she was smiling really big and saw me look down and her smiled disappeared.
20. She also had the orbiter guys around her that would show her uncanny amounts of attention, like I think this girl is so freaking sexy and cute but they were just on a whole ‘nother level, but she never reciprocated it back.
21. I don’t think she’s been seeing anyone whatsoever
22. I feel like she put me above the other guys in some ways like her social media and her attention she showed me in private, but in public she would show everyone else attention
23. She invited me to her birthday lunch with her girlfriend group and I was the only guy. She was acting really jittery, awkward, and weird. I told her she should come hangout with me after school and my friends and she said no she had to study for SAT. She said she was gonna drive to the lunch by herself so she could go straight home and start studying. The day her lunch was she showed up in her friends car, then I looked on the Snapchat map (which shows you where your friends are in your city) later that day when I was hanging out with my friends and she was at the mall, there is no place to study there.
24. She despised us doing anything that made us look like a couple. She chose to do group things with her friends all the time. Group projects, even when they would do spirit week at school she wouldn’t do it with me and do it with one of her guy friends she wasn’t attracted to.
25. The guys she’s been hanginout out with somewhat look like me, but don’t really match up to me ( not trying to toot my horn, but it’s true in most aspects )
—-Summary—-
I’m kinda sad I think that I didn’t agree to be her friend because to what I’ve read, avoidant people say “let’s just be friends” so there is no expectations of them like they would be in a dating setting, in turn they don’t feel that pressure and freak out and run away. I really wanna just have sex with her because she’s so hot and her body is even better IMO. Knowing that she is avoidant now I have no intentions of getting in a committed relationship with her even if I do have some feelings residing. I don’t know if I should reach out and accept her pending friend request on Snapchat and be like let’s be friends and try to have sex or I just wait back and wait for her to contact me as all the contact that has happened over the 8 months has been only by her & suprisingly I’ve had the self-control to complete NC successfully the first time with no fuck Ups. Do you she she is FA, do you think she might miss me or regret ending it on impulse, & do you think I should sit back and wait for her to directly message me or accept her Snapchat friend request?
Fast forward a little bit, it’s going well, texting every day, invited me to meet her whole friend group. While I was meeting her friend group we went to this festival she wasn’t distant but she didn’t act like I was there because of her, but like I was just part of the whole friend group and there was no tie between me and her.
Fast forward again, her friend has a back to school party and invites me. The girl I’m interested in made no effort to speak to me at the party unless I went up to her and only came to interact with me when this model chick came over to flirt with me, as soon as the girl stopped she would leave. I was on LSD so this party was a little too much for me and I left without saying bye to anyone. Comes the next morning and she asks me why I never said bye to her. I was thinking in my head because it didn’t seem like you really cared if I was there or not, but I just said cuz the LSD was too much, which it was I just didn’t say everything I thought maybe I was just being too needy.
When school starts we have the same class period for yearbook together, but we never spoke because she was very loud and in the mix while never making an effort to talk to me. I stayed in the back corner and was on my phone or read. That being we never spoke unless it was an actual meetup, we decided to do lunch, or over the phone/social media. We’re on FaceTime and she asks me why I never talk to her in class, I was confused because she never made an effort to talk to me and never seemed to really care so I just asked her if she wanted me to and so I did. She received it well turned her whole body towards me and feet and face lit up.
About two or three months in she uploads pictures of us onto her social media and all her followers go crazy because I’m known as a the “hot quiet guy” at my school and no one really knows anything about me except my tight knit group of friends. People ask her is that her boyfriend and she responds “wooo nah nah” on her Instagram. Which is fine because technically we were just dating, but as things go on people start asking her in real life while I’m next to her and she’ll respond as “just friends” which I know dang well I ain’t tryna be just a friend, but since we’re not together I let it slide maybe she’s just not ready. Time goes on people start saying things to us when they see us together and we happen to be matching clothes like “awww relationship goals” “are you guys dating?” She’d then either freeze up and get really awkward or get frustrated and tell them we’re not dating, I just laughed it off.
Homecoming comes up, I ask her to homecoming, her friends were excited and she got out of her car really happy and hugged me. I got her food for the proposal cuz she’s a foodie and it was a pun. We go to homecoming it’s whatever but as we leave she goes to hold hands with me. This is the first intimate contact we’ve had in the 3 months we’ve known each other aside from flirty touching and “accidentally” bumping into each other as we walk aside one another.
After homecoming I felt we became closer, anyways I ask her to come to my house just to hangout and she agrees. Comes the day we hangout she tells me “i think im just gonna hangout at the house today :l” I just tell her ok, I was kind of annoyed though. Couple weeks or so later we decide to get breakfast. She only leaves her house at the time we decided to actually meet up. I’m pissed because that’s just completely disrespectful and I text telling her why wouldnt she let me know earlier she was gonna be late. She arrived and we were talking about studying after breakfast. I suggested my house or library and she said not my house again, but agreed on the library. We leave in our separate cars to go to the library and she texts me saying “ i think I’m just gonna study at my house, thanks for putting up with my indecisiveness” again I’m kinda pissed because it really doesn’t seem like she likes me because she keeps bailing on stuff we agree to do but at the same time keeps inviting me to do stuff and not always bailing on things.
We decide to do some edibles and we skip class and SHE LAYS HER HEAD ON MY SHOULDER AND LAYS HER LEGS ACROSS MINE AS WERE SITTING ON THE BENCH this is some new shit with her as she was not very touchy so I’m put my arm around her we’re just talking. She goes on to tell me her dad left her before she was born and she feels unheard and not understood by her mom and her mom doesn’t trust her and she said trust is a big thing for her in relationships. Her mom is a traditional Chinese immigrant business woman, controlling & cold. I remember when I met her friends and we were driving back from the event her mom yelled at her for 25 minutes on the phone telling her to come back in Chinese and asking if there was any boys.
Another instance, We were getting lunch, I was going out of the country and I needed some paperwork signed by my dad to allow me and we weren’t on the best terms at that time. So I thought bringing a girl to dinner to meet him would butter him up because he always asked why I didn’t have a gf and asked if I was gay sometimes. So I said “can you do me a favor? I know we’re not dating but can you come to dinner with me and my dad” and explained that whole situation to her. To my surprise she agreed probably because I said the “not dating” part and I felt any relationship talk around her was off limits. We do dinner, it’s great, but something to note she isn’t talkative AT ALL. Like probably said nothing. This isn’t her, she told me before hand that she was really nervous. My dad was going to an event downtown and offered us to come along, I asked her she said no she has to go home and clean the house before her mom comes home China. I said ok and dropped her off. I get home and I text thanks for doing that for me blah blah. She said some stuff and then texts me “WE SHOULDVE GONE
(“ I’m pissed again but didn’t say anything except “i know” like does this girl have any idea what she wants to do at the time.——Break Up——
She invites me to her joint birthday party. I arrive and say hi to her and hug her. She seems weirded out and awkward and gives me the sidiest of hugs. We talk for like 1 minute we split up. AGAIN, she makes no effort to talk to me, but has enough time to talk to anyone at that party whether she knew them or not, but had no time to talk to me again. The only time we talked was when I made an effort and she went from her ecstatic self to very quiet awakard reserved self. They planned to go to Waffle House after the party, but I was already pissed that she didn’t make any efforts or look like she even wanted to talk to me when I took time out of my day and from hanging out with my friend to come to her birthday party that she invited me to like on the first date we ever went on. I left and on my way home she texted me “if I’m ok”. I said “yeah”. She asked where I was and I said in my bed. Next day comes and she texts me say hey sorry I couldn’t talk to you yesterday there was just so many people at the party. This really pissed me off cuz 1. She knew she should’ve talked to me at the party 2. She made an excuse that “there was so many people at the party”. There was a lot of people at the party, but out of all them you put me on the last to interact with? Like, I felt like in public I was her last priority to even strangers. I don’t answer until later that night and I’m high and say “just don’t invite me next time”. We get in an argument, she’s real calm about it and was saying “sorry I was a bad host” “this is not an argument”, just seemed very cool calm and collected about it. I eventually tell her I’m over it. Then BOOM. I get this long paragraph basically saying let’s just be friends. She said “at first I wanted to be your girlfriend, but now I don’t think I can anymore” I read in a book call “Love: science of adult atttacthment theory” that saying is an avoidants defense mechanism, basically at first when the intimacy wasn’t there, so she was comfortable and excited, as we got closer she started devaluing me and that why she thinks she can’t do it anymore. It basically sounded like a whole bunch of clichés. I just can’t be in a relationship right now. I’m afraid I might hurt you. You deserve someone better. She also said that she wanted to be friends because she really cares about me and doesn’t want to lose me. I never begged, I just asked her why she wanted to just be friends because her reasons were contradictory. She sent me a whole mother’s bs paragraph that still didn’t clear a dang thing up so I just said “you’re right”. I did agree to be her friend but later decided I couldn’t handle that so I deleted all her social media and her number.
A week goes by and she texts me “(my name)...” I say hi, she says “the last thing I want is for you to hate me”. I just tell her no hard feelings, I didn’t sign up to be her male girlfriend, and call me if she changes her mind. She never responds.
——POST BREAKUP——
I unfollowed her and deleted her off everything. She kept me on everything. I upload some pictures on Instagram about 1-2 months after she “broke up” with me she’s starts liking them after not liking my other pictures. I post a Snapchat story she views them. Then after those two pictures she went silent and never interacted with my social media again other than viewing my Snapchat stories. I notice she’s unfollows my instagram with her main account one day. She keeps following me on her food account and still has me added on Snapchat. I upload a picture with a girl boom she unfollows me on her food account. I’m scratching my head cuz why would she unfollow me slowly like that, especially after uploading the picture with the girl. Cut to graduation I’m going to a pre-game this girl invited me to that my “ex” was kind of friends with. Before we go into the party she tells me “yeah your ex said she was really nervous when she found out I was coming to the party” I’m thinking f*ck I didn’t know she was gonna be there and why was she nervous, we’ve seen eachother at school almost every day since she’s ended it and it’s been longer we’ve not been together than how long we were together (Been apart - 8 months / Knew eachother - only 5 months). I’m see her and get a drink which is directly next to her but I’m cordial but don’t say anything to her. She grabs the bottle after me and it almost seemed like she tried to grab or graze my hand, she could’ve been already drunk or whatever. I go to sit down next to this girl who was sitting alone on her phone and try to make conversation not trying to make her jealous or anything. I look from the side of my eye and my ex is standing in between this dudes legs that I knew (he’s pretty cool) and holding both his hands. Either I didn’t care or my social anxiety was overiding my nervous system and I continued on about the night. I look at a different angle of the room, they’re diagnolly from me sitting in the corner talking to each other. Again this not at the time, but thinking back on it made me feel some type of way. After all these parties she made absolutely no attempts to talk to me and now she’s sitting in a corner out of the crowd talking to this dude by themselves. We go to the club, we’re dancing and the guy went in a completely different vehicle than my ex to the club which was weird. We were talking and he gave me his ID to get in. I was 17. He then once we got drinks, asked me out of everyone if I had some of her friends numbers so he could find out where she was as they traveled in different vehicles. I think he knew we were kind of a thing, but I don’t know why he didn’t ask if I just had her number. Anyways, I give my phone to call her friend to find her, he leaves I go on about my night. We dance all night and comes closing time, THE GIRL I CAME WITH TO THE CLUB LEFT ME BY MYSELF AND I HAD TO WALK BACK, luckily it was one mile. The girl I was suppose to leave with FaceTimes me to see where I was and if I was there yet to let me in. Guess who comes in the camera..... my ex. She saw she was talking to me and grabbed the phone and asks me “do you hate me?” the same exact question she asked me after we “broke up”. I said of course not. We went on talking blah blah blah, was trying not to be rude as mixing my ex and already being angry I was left at the club drunk to walk home by myself at 2 in the morning isn’t a good mix. She asked if I’m coming back and I said no cuz that girl left me and I’m tired. She said no because I’m drunk and you shouldnt drive drunk. I was like I’ve done this before and to be honest not that drunk because I had danced it all out and walked it all out. She kept saying to me “don’t die” that specific phrase which I kept saying to her when she was staying in town for a really bad hurricane while me and my family were evacuating and most of the town was evacuating. She hen put me on pause for like 7 seconds. I hung up, got in my car, and left. Couple days later I see her while going to the mall and she says “hi” (my name) too me. I said hey back. This was really weird because this was the first sober interaction we had since the breakup face to face. The entire school year we completely ignored eachother if we were in proximity. Come again we happen to arrive at the coffee shop at the same time and she decides to park right next to me, I wave to her, idk if she saw me do that cuz her windows are really tinted. Note she still has me added on Snapchat and maybe still has my number but hasn’t used it since the last time we texted 8 months ago, but is now not viewing my snap stories.
—Why I think she’s FA and might miss me—
1. Her dad left her when she wasn’t even born and doesn’t really care about him
2. Mom is really cold and controlling and she said she doesn’t feel heard, understood, or trusted by her mom
3. She said she didn’t want to lose me and cares about me
4. “ I wanted to be your girlfriend, but I don’t think I can anymore”
5. She didn’t like to come to my house, I think she’s been over like 3 times and only stayed for like 1 hour at the most
6. She would always feel the need to get away from me “I need to go home and clean” and then when she was away from me she wanted to be close to me “we should’ve went
(“7. She said I deserve better and she’s afraid she might end up hurting me
8. She told me she does get attached to people easily
9. I forgot to mention, but I brought the relationship up one time and she said she was scared, but I didn’t ask her what she was scared of regratbly, but she said she felt better after having the relationship talk. I didn’t push it on her though.
10. She was generally very indecisve and had a problem committing to anything, me, to be on time, to a school.
11. She kept me on Instagram but slowly unfollowed me. Still has me on Snapchat but doesn’t view it
12. She was reminiscing when she got on FaceTime with me and that girl. “Don’t die” and she was talking about me driving high when we did edibles together and she was nervous at first
13. She wasn’t very affectionate. Furthest we got was like kinda cuddling but more like her putting her body weight on me.
14. She would talk to anyone but me at parties, but in private she was worried about me
15. She wouldn’t commit to me & it’s not like I wasn’t good enough, I’m an extremely sought after guy at my school, even one girl in her friend group made a post about how I was “the most photogenic in the yearbook class” and girls proceeded to drool over me in the comments and I’m really smart and financially stable for my age and was very caring attentive when she asked me of anything
15. Very excited about me at the beginning and spent lots of time together and slowly went down hill as time and intimacy went on
16. I think that guy is just her friend because on her Instagram she hasn’t uploaded any guys and I’m the only guy she’s posted on there that isn’t gay. I hypothesize maybe she was trying to make me jealous with him as I’ve never seen any pictures of him and her or with her friend group. He also came to ask me directly to go find her, which could be a way to make me jealous, maybe I’m looking too much into it
17. She was nervous to see me at the party when we’ve been seeing eachother every day for 8 months, so at least I make her feel some type of way when she sees me.
18. The first time she contacted me was drunk and on FaceTime, but then still cared to greet me in person sober when previously we ignored eachother
18. She would always show up in my 5th period to make up work when she missed class
19. Whenever we saw eachother she would immediately look at the ground and if she had a smile on her face it was gone in a split second. I remember she took our class picture in 5th period obviously I had to look at her she was smiling really big and saw me look down and her smiled disappeared.
20. She also had the orbiter guys around her that would show her uncanny amounts of attention, like I think this girl is so freaking sexy and cute but they were just on a whole ‘nother level, but she never reciprocated it back.
21. I don’t think she’s been seeing anyone whatsoever
22. I feel like she put me above the other guys in some ways like her social media and her attention she showed me in private, but in public she would show everyone else attention
23. She invited me to her birthday lunch with her girlfriend group and I was the only guy. She was acting really jittery, awkward, and weird. I told her she should come hangout with me after school and my friends and she said no she had to study for SAT. She said she was gonna drive to the lunch by herself so she could go straight home and start studying. The day her lunch was she showed up in her friends car, then I looked on the Snapchat map (which shows you where your friends are in your city) later that day when I was hanging out with my friends and she was at the mall, there is no place to study there.
24. She despised us doing anything that made us look like a couple. She chose to do group things with her friends all the time. Group projects, even when they would do spirit week at school she wouldn’t do it with me and do it with one of her guy friends she wasn’t attracted to.
25. The guys she’s been hanginout out with somewhat look like me, but don’t really match up to me ( not trying to toot my horn, but it’s true in most aspects )
—-Summary—-
I’m kinda sad I think that I didn’t agree to be her friend because to what I’ve read, avoidant people say “let’s just be friends” so there is no expectations of them like they would be in a dating setting, in turn they don’t feel that pressure and freak out and run away. I really wanna just have sex with her because she’s so hot and her body is even better IMO. Knowing that she is avoidant now I have no intentions of getting in a committed relationship with her even if I do have some feelings residing. I don’t know if I should reach out and accept her pending friend request on Snapchat and be like let’s be friends and try to have sex or I just wait back and wait for her to contact me as all the contact that has happened over the 8 months has been only by her & suprisingly I’ve had the self-control to complete NC successfully the first time with no fuck Ups. Do you she she is FA, do you think she might miss me or regret ending it on impulse, & do you think I should sit back and wait for her to directly message me or accept her Snapchat friend request?
She's still sort of hanging around, so all is not lost, imho.