Post by anne12 on Jun 29, 2018 8:22:26 GMT
An attatchment therapist gives this advice:
1: Calm down the nerveussystem - the watertank-exersice. It can calm down the thoughts also!!!! Let someone help you, and after a while you can do it on your own - use it all the time when you are getting overwhelmed. Practice every day. (it is energy work, not meditation or yoga) jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/880/self-regulating-exercises
2: Anger - find out where did this show up with the ex partner - it can feel like anger or can feel like beeing a victim. Work with a therapist.
3: Heeling of a broken hart
Why all these thoughts about the ex (even a secure ex):
The old history comes up in the system again (abandament is printed into the nerveussystem) - the way the ambivalent lost the first love from their parents (warmth, caring, nurturing, contact, love). The child have tasted Paradise, but lost it again before they "were full". The child thinks, that it is it´s own fault, and therefore the child is trying to figure out (overthinking), how to get constant love from the parent.
Look at both the positive and the negative from the relationship with the ex.
What was special in the relationship, was something missing from the past that played out in the relationship or and/or are you missing something in your life now? What can you do now?
(The ex could be secure)
1: Calm down the nerveussystem - the watertank-exersice. It can calm down the thoughts also!!!! Let someone help you, and after a while you can do it on your own - use it all the time when you are getting overwhelmed. Practice every day. (it is energy work, not meditation or yoga) jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/880/self-regulating-exercises
2: Anger - find out where did this show up with the ex partner - it can feel like anger or can feel like beeing a victim. Work with a therapist.
3: Heeling of a broken hart
Why all these thoughts about the ex (even a secure ex):
The old history comes up in the system again (abandament is printed into the nerveussystem) - the way the ambivalent lost the first love from their parents (warmth, caring, nurturing, contact, love). The child have tasted Paradise, but lost it again before they "were full". The child thinks, that it is it´s own fault, and therefore the child is trying to figure out (overthinking), how to get constant love from the parent.
Look at both the positive and the negative from the relationship with the ex.
What was special in the relationship, was something missing from the past that played out in the relationship or and/or are you missing something in your life now? What can you do now?
(The ex could be secure)