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Post by brokenbiscuit on Aug 5, 2018 9:29:28 GMT
That's a very good point and I agree. What I mean is that I want to know which of my strange behaviours are worse and need more working on. And I was so focused on AP stuff that I was unaware of some reactions that might be FA. If I can identify them, then I can also let them go. But if I'm not aware of them, they'll control my life. Does it matter? The labeling and defining is a way of remaining stuck - change comes from noticing, accepting, investigation on a visceral level and allowing the experience to be. Rationalism can be a way of holding on by thinking through rather than experiencing and letting go. I think many of us are fluid in our attachment behaviors but bottom line is they are a reflection of us they are not us. Diagnosis tends to make us further identified with rather than allowing opening to what is. Especially when the diagnosis is applied to a significant other. We’re Homo sapiens - knowing (wo)men and knowing brings s feeling of control and security- what it doesn’t bring or allow is the experiential experience which opens us to change. I would imagine all of your "strange behaviours" are instrinctly linked to each other. Overcoming one will likely cause a domino effect of sorts. This is why getting a good join the dots narrative of your life from childhood up until now, and working with the right professionals, is so important I think. You can't just go "oh, I'm a bit clingy, let's overcome that" because clingyness is linked to not feeling in control, which leads to feelings of inadequacy, which is linked to feelings of low self esteem, which is linked to... And so on You need to get to the root |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2018 9:33:22 GMT
brokenbiscuit - I was in debt when I went on the course, I got into more debt because at that time I was absolutely desperate (due to ongoing trauma). It was the best thing I ever did.
There are sometimes some places available for those in financial difficulty - if I'd had been able to appreciate that at the time, I may have gone down that route (I really was in dire straits, but still felt I had to do it)
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Post by brokenbiscuit on Aug 5, 2018 9:55:18 GMT
Thank you WG, I have dropped them an email to find out more
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Post by squirrelkitty on Aug 5, 2018 10:04:38 GMT
I know it can't just be overcome like that and I am working on that narrative etc. But thanks for the reminder. That's a very good point and I agree. What I mean is that I want to know which of my strange behaviours are worse and need more working on. And I was so focused on AP stuff that I was unaware of some reactions that might be FA. If I can identify them, then I can also let them go. But if I'm not aware of them, they'll control my life. I would imagine all of your "strange behaviours" are instrinctly linked to each other. Overcoming one will likely cause a domino effect of sorts. This is why getting a good join the dots narrative of your life from childhood up until now, and working with the right professionals, is so important I think. You can't just go "oh, I'm a bit clingy, let's overcome that" because clingyness is linked to not feeling in control, which leads to feelings of inadequacy, which is linked to feelings of low self esteem, which is linked to... And so on You need to get to the root |
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Post by squirrelkitty on Aug 5, 2018 11:39:31 GMT
Lol, shit, I've just wasted £9 on a test and got 'secure'.
I'm pretty sure I'm not secure... Or maybe I am more secure than I think (although not completely secure) and just being perfectionist?
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Post by squirrelkitty on Aug 5, 2018 11:58:12 GMT
Wow, that test is very detailed. I will look at it now. |
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