Post by Compassionate Avoidant on Feb 24, 2017 3:39:17 GMT
Anyone have theories on why an avoidant person would be historically most intensely attracted to other avoidant people and often people even MORE avoidant than one's self, and intensely so? Of course I haven't managed to actually have real romance with any of them, just fantasy. I think it is a popular fantasy though-- like how soooo many people are attracted to the character of Shane on "The L Word" and she is the most avoidant person! I also think of James Dean as being in that category where there is a mass societal attraction to that sort of persona.
Looking back over my life, that seems to be the pattern of most intense attraction though-- being drawn to the avoidant types. In a way we feel like kin-- like we speak the same language. They all feel like "the ones who got away," the soulmates who almost were but weren't, the what ifs, etc.
In a way it makes me glad I didn't end up with any of them, but I can't help but wonder why they would be the people I'd be most attracted to. I recently also read the book "Getting the Love You Want" which makes me think there may be something subconscious going on in terms of the fantasy somehow actually being about the desire for wholeness and healing.
Looking back over my life, that seems to be the pattern of most intense attraction though-- being drawn to the avoidant types. In a way we feel like kin-- like we speak the same language. They all feel like "the ones who got away," the soulmates who almost were but weren't, the what ifs, etc.
In a way it makes me glad I didn't end up with any of them, but I can't help but wonder why they would be the people I'd be most attracted to. I recently also read the book "Getting the Love You Want" which makes me think there may be something subconscious going on in terms of the fantasy somehow actually being about the desire for wholeness and healing.
