Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2018 23:22:55 GMT
juniper , No, I think shit is the perfect word! I think the attachment to him is fear based, though I did really love him, maybe its both? Or mostly fear? You were right of course, he did come back just a day later after saying he needed space to invite me to a movie. We didn't go. but he sent another text a day later about something he read and when I asked how his day was, nothing. So, today I ask myself, what the F are you still doing waiting for a response? Useless. I will try to take your suggestion, that is indeed a new approach I've not yet tried but it definitely feels way more honest! you know, i'd be willing to bet that if, in your mind , you swapped phrase "i love him" with the clear phrase "i fear abandonment, it's what i'm used to so i tolerate it in the way he treats me, and by loving him i abandon myself in service to my fear" it would switch things up in your story line enough to make some more headway. what we tell ourselves can sure keep us stuck. i know all about it! just in a different way. |
|
|
|
Post by kristyrose on Aug 21, 2018 23:28:22 GMT
juniper , No, I think shit is the perfect word! I think the attachment to him is fear based, though I did really love him, maybe its both? Or mostly fear? You were right of course, he did come back just a day later after saying he needed space to invite me to a movie. We didn't go. but he sent another text a day later about something he read and when I asked how his day was, nothing. So, today I ask myself, what the F are you still doing waiting for a response? Useless. I will try to take your suggestion, that is indeed a new approach I've not yet tried but it definitely feels way more honest! you know, i'd be willing to bet that if, in your mind , you swapped phrase "i love him" with the clear phrase "i fear abandonment, it's what i'm used to so i tolerate it in the way he treats me, and by loving him i abandon myself in service to my fear" it would switch things up in your story line enough to make some more headway. what we tell ourselves can sure keep us stuck. i know all about it! just in a different way. This made me well up a bit. I'm going to copy that phrase and text it to myself and try. these things are so hard to read and face, but they are true. I really appreciate your taking the time to offer this advice and feedback. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2018 1:24:24 GMT
you know, i'd be willing to bet that if, in your mind , you swapped phrase "i love him" with the clear phrase "i fear abandonment, it's what i'm used to so i tolerate it in the way he treats me, and by loving him i abandon myself in service to my fear" it would switch things up in your story line enough to make some more headway. what we tell ourselves can sure keep us stuck. i know all about it! just in a different way. This made me well up a bit. I'm going to copy that phrase and text it to myself and try. these things are so hard to read and face, but they are true. I really appreciate your taking the time to offer this advice and feedback. it's truly meant to help you be free, i know you're hurting and i'd love to see you really tend to that. i know you've been doing the best you can, but you do deserve better than this, it's just hard to change the conditioning we received. we expect less, we settle for less, and it's all because of fear. but i really believe we're here to find freedom from all that. |
|
