How to let down an FA when she comes back?

In the initial 3 months of our 6 month relationship, she was extremely AP and I was able to soothe her when needed. For example, she brought her puppy over and he crawled under my bed and pooped. I basically moved the bed and we cleaned it up. She told me that she was worried that I was going to break up with her because of it. I laughed and told her it's a puppy and that's what puppies do along with telling her I had zero intention of breaking up with her and I would talk about our problems first. I made it very clear that if there was ever any problem, we'd talk about it. This happened three times from what I recall for various reasons. Our relationship was going great, saw each other 2-4 times a week, great chemistry, connection, values, interests, sex, you name it. She would even proactively try to find extra days to spend together. We took trips and met each other's parents around the 4 month mark or so. She would constantly tell me things like "Are you real?", "You're so supportive and good to me", and "I'm glad we found each other". She would also say things about how attractive I am (she was way more attractive than me) and other somewhat self-depreciating aspects.

Somewhere around the early 4 month mark is when she started pulling. I would tell her something sincere and sweet and she would just ignore it (a lot over text). After a few weeks when we were spending time together, I brought up the ignoring of my comments. She would respond that she was not as comfortable reciprocating by text. I followed up with her asking if I should stop it. She told me "No, I like what you say, it just may take me some time to be just as comfortable". Told her to take the time she needed and I liked watching her open up to me more and more. She even told me she kept a book of the most sweet things I ever said to her. Found it romantic at the time.

The pulling continued but every now and again, I'd get a response that was positive. I just saw it as her getting closer to me. Of course, I would point it out and say I'm proud that's she's opening up more. Basically supporting her throughout. We had a bit of a rough patch where she had to cancel for various reasons (all legitimate). Things like she had to go to a different state because a family friend died, her father showed up unexpectedly, things outside her control. I always told her to take care of whatever it was and we can talk later when she has time. Every time she'd tell me how supportive I was. The last time I physically saw her, she was telling me that I was so good at communicating my feelings and she was wanting to know how she could do the same. It was late at night (2am) and I gave a pretty lame answer like I was single for a long time. I do remember telling her that I thought she was scared about opening up and this relationship was getting more serious than it already is. She told me that I was so perceptive. This is probably one of the biggest FA aspects I saw in the relationship - her worry that I would drop her because we weren't at the exact same place.

Now, we usually spend the weekend together and this Saturday she texted me saying she couldn't come over because her dog was lethargic and she needed to take him to the vet (he ate a sock). Told her to take care of her dog and we'd talk later. That night we were texting like normal (we usually texted from noon to midnight). We have been making some future plans but this night was looking at houses for ideas for our 2-3 years in the future and talking about designs. She would use terms like "Our bathroom" and "our bedroom", etc. Before we go to sleep I tell her to let me know if she's coming my way or not Sunday. She agreed.

The next day, I texted her a couple texts and got no response. Waited around and nothing figured that something may have happened with her dog. Around 4pm, she finally responds. I ask how the dog is doing (he's doing well) and we talk a little bit. Around 5pm, my father called me to tell me he was walking away from fighting to keep his house. Now, I was paying the lawyer bills so I was furious that $4,000 was essentially thrown away. My ex is still texting me like she doesn't remember to tell me if she's coming or not. I let my frustration flow out of me on to her. I didn't cuss her out or even tell her she was a bad girlfriend. I basically said that her waiting until 4pm to text me back without letting me know she's not coming over is not cool and it's common courtesy to let me know. Basically, I was stuck in this waiting limbo and I wanted to spend time with her but she just left me hanging. I was a little harsh and a little condescending (I could have been way worse). I could tell she was shocked by this text and took the defensive that she's still taking care of a sick dog and didn't know what to tell me. I pushed harder that I wished she would be more proactive and she shouldn't be afraid I'd react badly (I'm generally extremely patient). She told me that she was going to take care of her sick dog and she'd text me later.

I figured we just needed some cooling off time so I left her alone save maybe a couple texts (hope her dog is doing ok and goodnight). No response. Monday rolls around, I realize that I've pushed way too hard. So, I order some flowers to be sent to her house (she works from home) and wrote a very apologetic text. I didn't explain the situation with my father as I felt that should be done in person/phone. At this point, I start looking at therapy because I know my AP side is getting activated. Still no response. I let it simmer for a few days and Wednesday afternoon I text her again saying that I miss her and can we talk about this. I finally get a response "I'm not ready to talk yet. Still need more time to process. I hope you understand". I told her to take the time she needs and I'll be waiting with open arms. I also said that I think some aspects got misunderstood by text. I let the weekend roll around and on Monday, I just texted her a thinking about you, how are you doing (My therapist recommended this). This was just to check on her. No response.

Thursday rolls around and my AP side took over completely. I decided to be insane and record a video saying we need to talk about this and she can't omit herself from a relationship. I told her that I think this should happen sooner rather than later and we should shoot for this weekend and it's important to me that we discuss what's going on. Not to determine who's wrong or right, but to further understand each other. And some other stuff to say that I want to keep working towards "us" along with saying we should have this discussion in person. Suffice to say, it was a 3 minute video but for the most part, I kept it about the facts. No begging, pleading, or emotional throes (except for my final sentence was just a romantic statement). The weekend rolls around and nothing.

I decided that I need to just give her space and she'll reach out when she's ready. Two weeks roll around. At this point, I realize this relationship is over and I have gotten ghosted. I go to my home city to be with one of my close friends for a week to help heal and resume my stable tendencies. Spend time with my mother and go to my friends for support. Basically, trying to keep myself busy and not dwell on it. Of course at the time, none of us knew she was FA or about attachment styles.

About a month after my frustrated text, I get a package at my door. It's from my ex. I opened it and it was all my stuff I left at her place. Just the stuff. No note, no explanation, just mailed it to me. This destroyed all my healing and really set me back and reactivated my AP side. The next day, I packed up her stuff and dropped it at her doorstep with a note explaining the extra items (Bought some stuff for her birthday and felt like she should still have it and I'm here if she ever needs anything). Didn't ring the doorbell, didn't knock, just left it. Made sure I went with a friend.

Two weeks after that (6 weeks since my text), I am trying to date again and just see where things go and I stumble on her profile in Bumble (dating app). Once again, my AP side rears it's head. The next morning, I decided to call her and leave a voicemail saying I didn't like how things ended, it was abrupt and confusing, we had a great connection, I would like us to try again or at least talk about it, with boundaries and some things different, and I don't think you'll respond but I'm betting on hope. Again, kept to the facts. No begging, pleading, or emotional throes. Of course, no response. Right after leaving that voicemail, I deleted her number. This way I could move on. I didn't block it because then it'd be saved in my phone and I may have a moment again and could look it up. This was the point where I realized I didn't want to be with her anymore despite saying that I wanted us to try again.

So, it's been two weeks since I left that voicemail and two months since I sent the original text. So here's my dilemma. Since she's been a textbook FA (at least I think so, but it's hard to see all the trees in the middle of the forest but if she's something else, let me know), I'm afraid that she'll be reaching out when her AP side comes back. I've realized I deserve better than this and I don't want to go through this emotional roller-coaster again. So, I have to ask, what are the chances I'll be hearing from her? I know everyone is different and isn't an exact science, but she has obviously kept a few doors open (ghosting, not blocking numbers, etc) and I didn't help with keeping my doors open (note telling her that I'll be there for, calling her to try again, etc). And both of our birthdays are coming up in late August (we're three days apart) so I don't know if that's going to trigger her AP side or not. I'm trying to move on and continue my life but I know I need to have some kind of plan in place so I don't fall into a potential pitfall. If she does contact me, should I just keep no-contact or will she escalate her attempts as she is being rebuffed? Should it be a direct break? What can I do here that'll be the best way for both of us?