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Post by leavethelighton on Sept 7, 2018 0:45:30 GMT
Does anyone ever feel aggressive impulses during times of intimacy or you have in the past? (I don't actually act physically aggressive, just have the impulse to). For some reason this has been happening to me the past couple of years. I can't ferret out why since it's a relatively new thing. It's making me want to avoid physical contact. Sometimes it makes me pick a verbal fight that ends the intimacy. Other times I just fantasize that I'm with someone else to create some emotional distance. I can also get mentally hypercritical during times of intimacy.
In short, it's all kind of the opposite of the attitude that would be ideal for the moment at hand.
Thoughts? |
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Post by epicgum on Sept 7, 2018 1:45:46 GMT
Hmm. I like semi-violent/controlling sex, and sometimes (maybe?) fantasize about someone else, but I dont feel anger/resentment towards my partner while I'm doing it.
Edit: Always CONSENSUAL and safe!! Definitely did not want to actually hurt her. Also, I liked being on the receiving end of this as well.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2018 2:08:05 GMT
i don't have experience with this except when i was in a horrible marriage.
do you resent your partner?
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Post by leavethelighton on Sept 10, 2018 1:34:23 GMT
Epicgum, so then what DO you feel at those times? I mean if your'e engaging in something "semi-violent" what are you feeling when you're doing it?
Juniper, I'm not in a bad marriage... Any resentment I feel towards my partner is related to my own issues (ex: my focus more on the imperfections than the strengths). I get resentful that she doesn't take on more housework/yardwork or initiate house projects, that sort of thing. Typical stuff I'd imagine.
I can be resentful about how far reality is from fantasy, but that's been a lifelong struggle.
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Post by epicgum on Sept 10, 2018 2:33:02 GMT
Epicgum, so then what DO you feel at those times? I mean if your'e engaging in something "semi-violent" what are you feeling when you're doing it? Juniper, I'm not in a bad marriage... Any resentment I feel towards my partner is related to my own issues (ex: my focus more on the imperfections than the strengths). I get resentful that she doesn't take on more housework/yardwork or initiate house projects, that sort of thing. Typical stuff I'd imagine. I can be resentful about how far reality is from fantasy, but that's been a lifelong struggle. Mostly I felt satisfaction in playing with her, seeing her pleasure and feeling in control of it, and pleasure from seeing her pleasure. Warm feelings from eventually embracing at the end. |
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Post by leavethelighton on Sept 10, 2018 2:35:23 GMT
Yeah... that is not how I'd be feeling-- I think that's a different thing, more like it worked as your means of connection rather than being a way of disengaging.
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