Post by sugarsweet93 on Sept 16, 2018 13:55:10 GMT
Hi,
I've been lurking on this forum for a while, and this is my first post. I just wanted to get some insight into my most recent relationship.
Background story: when I first met my ex we got on well immediately, we talked every day (mixture of texting and phone calls) and met up frequently. He told me he spoke about me to both his friends and family, and showed them pictures of me. Anyway, this was going on for 3 months and then he asked me to be exclusive. He asked me to be exclusive once before this, but I wasn't ready. During this stage, he was very much pursuing me and this was something our friends had noticed and commented about.
He was the first to use the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' label, he introduced me to friends when they were in town and even took me abroad to meet some of his family members. I even introduced him to my parents and a few of my friends. Things seemed to be going well. However he started acting a bit distant and cold a few months later, which I initially put down as stress as we were both busy with work. But this continued for another month, which ended with him breaking up with me. It didn't come as a massive shock as he had been distant for a while, however it was the manner in which this happened which hurt me. Looking back, he was using quite a few distancing strategies to push me away and acted like he couldn't bear to be around me, yet he was crying a lot when he broke up with me. He also said that he believed we were different people and thought that for a long time, yet he was the one that kept wanting to be with me and asking me to be more serious with him. We had never spoken about or discussed the reasons he listed for us being different, and some of those reasons were there when we first met. In fact, there was never any communication or comments from him that there was anything wrong with the relationship, so this was completely out of the blue for me. I met up with his flatmate (who I was also friendly with) a few weeks after the breakup, and she told me that when she came back to the flat on the day he broke up with me he was crying. She also said that she even asked him if he had made the right decision, as he seemed that upset.
He definitely screams avoidant to me, but I'm not sure which. Has anyone else been through something similar?
I've been lurking on this forum for a while, and this is my first post. I just wanted to get some insight into my most recent relationship.
Background story: when I first met my ex we got on well immediately, we talked every day (mixture of texting and phone calls) and met up frequently. He told me he spoke about me to both his friends and family, and showed them pictures of me. Anyway, this was going on for 3 months and then he asked me to be exclusive. He asked me to be exclusive once before this, but I wasn't ready. During this stage, he was very much pursuing me and this was something our friends had noticed and commented about.
He was the first to use the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' label, he introduced me to friends when they were in town and even took me abroad to meet some of his family members. I even introduced him to my parents and a few of my friends. Things seemed to be going well. However he started acting a bit distant and cold a few months later, which I initially put down as stress as we were both busy with work. But this continued for another month, which ended with him breaking up with me. It didn't come as a massive shock as he had been distant for a while, however it was the manner in which this happened which hurt me. Looking back, he was using quite a few distancing strategies to push me away and acted like he couldn't bear to be around me, yet he was crying a lot when he broke up with me. He also said that he believed we were different people and thought that for a long time, yet he was the one that kept wanting to be with me and asking me to be more serious with him. We had never spoken about or discussed the reasons he listed for us being different, and some of those reasons were there when we first met. In fact, there was never any communication or comments from him that there was anything wrong with the relationship, so this was completely out of the blue for me. I met up with his flatmate (who I was also friendly with) a few weeks after the breakup, and she told me that when she came back to the flat on the day he broke up with me he was crying. She also said that she even asked him if he had made the right decision, as he seemed that upset.
He definitely screams avoidant to me, but I'm not sure which. Has anyone else been through something similar?
