Post by loveaddict on Sept 17, 2018 9:10:17 GMT
Hi,
Firstly, I would like to say that English is not my first language.
I'm very happy to have found this forum. I've been feeling really lonely after dating a FA.
I would like to tell you my experience. We met almost a year ago and we were friends for a while, nothing weird, he was actually pretty open with his feelings and helped me a lot when I was suffering from panic attacks.
Little by little we started having feelings towards each other and decided to start dating, we did for almost six months.
I have to say that both of us were coming out of long relationships. Neither of us were looking to have anything serious.
But with time I started having deep feelings for him, I told him and he kinda panic, but at the same time kept dating me month after month. There were days were I felt he was really connected with me, in love sometimes, and next day cold as ice. And for me was rather confusing cause I didn't know anything about FA or anything related to attachment.
Finally he "broke up" With me because he said we had nothing in common and he wanted to date other women. So I told him to let me go cause I felt really connected to him and he would not do that. He told me I want to still be friends with you and so on. So we were still friends until he started dating other women, he distanced himself a bit from me but at the same time he was the one keeping in touch with me.
I'm a bit embarrassed to say that even we are no dating anymore we have had sexual relations sometimes and when that happens I'm really confused, cause I do really feel there's something there. I might be fantasizing? Maybe...
I started researching about this FA and now everything makes so much sense to me. I used to feel even guilty about my feelings and behaviors. Like am I too needy? Then I realized it might not be me, he is going to think about any women like that i mean it's normal to wanting to be with the man you love and just because of that he calls me needy.
In his case I know his FA was caused because his mom abandoned him when he was two years old and very deep inside he was left feeling not good enough. Everytime I've tried to talk about that with him he kinda denies that saying that it didn't affect him so much that he has a good relationship with his parents, which i know is not true, cause they almost don't see each other. He only trust his friends.
I don't know how to talk to him into going to therapy is very sad for me seeing someone you love being so lonely and having so many destructive feelings about himself.
Right now he is dating two girls at a time and of course he is looking for that "perfect" women that doesn't exist and he told me last week I don't think I've been made for relationships cause I can lovel more than a woman at a time. But at the same time it's very sad to see him lonely and depressed.
Any advice from a FA or someone who went through something similar?
Thanks
Firstly, I would like to say that English is not my first language.
I'm very happy to have found this forum. I've been feeling really lonely after dating a FA.
I would like to tell you my experience. We met almost a year ago and we were friends for a while, nothing weird, he was actually pretty open with his feelings and helped me a lot when I was suffering from panic attacks.
Little by little we started having feelings towards each other and decided to start dating, we did for almost six months.
I have to say that both of us were coming out of long relationships. Neither of us were looking to have anything serious.
But with time I started having deep feelings for him, I told him and he kinda panic, but at the same time kept dating me month after month. There were days were I felt he was really connected with me, in love sometimes, and next day cold as ice. And for me was rather confusing cause I didn't know anything about FA or anything related to attachment.
Finally he "broke up" With me because he said we had nothing in common and he wanted to date other women. So I told him to let me go cause I felt really connected to him and he would not do that. He told me I want to still be friends with you and so on. So we were still friends until he started dating other women, he distanced himself a bit from me but at the same time he was the one keeping in touch with me.
I'm a bit embarrassed to say that even we are no dating anymore we have had sexual relations sometimes and when that happens I'm really confused, cause I do really feel there's something there. I might be fantasizing? Maybe...
I started researching about this FA and now everything makes so much sense to me. I used to feel even guilty about my feelings and behaviors. Like am I too needy? Then I realized it might not be me, he is going to think about any women like that i mean it's normal to wanting to be with the man you love and just because of that he calls me needy.
In his case I know his FA was caused because his mom abandoned him when he was two years old and very deep inside he was left feeling not good enough. Everytime I've tried to talk about that with him he kinda denies that saying that it didn't affect him so much that he has a good relationship with his parents, which i know is not true, cause they almost don't see each other. He only trust his friends.
I don't know how to talk to him into going to therapy is very sad for me seeing someone you love being so lonely and having so many destructive feelings about himself.
Right now he is dating two girls at a time and of course he is looking for that "perfect" women that doesn't exist and he told me last week I don't think I've been made for relationships cause I can lovel more than a woman at a time. But at the same time it's very sad to see him lonely and depressed.
Any advice from a FA or someone who went through something similar?
Thanks
