deactivation and loss of hunger cues

Again, sorry about posting here as not DA, but I think this is relevant. When I'm having very strong AP-related nervous system activation, I have the same body response. Stop getting hunger cues, prone to forgetting to drink water and stay hydrated. Even though it's not conscious, I've noticed those are the times that are by far my worst for self-care, which I'm normally decent at. I suspect it's related, and might be some sort of unconscious neglect because I'm not feeling deserving, though it may also be I'm just too overwhelmed.

yeah i thought it was weird too.
i know that anxiety and depression both can cause loss of appetite but i wouldn't say deactivation feels like either of those.
i just was wondering if other dismissives noticed it as a part of their deactivation, but we have a very small pool for the discussion.

you're right, it is a loss of all cues.
i do a lot of body meditation as well but i think next time i deactivate i will try going out on a walk in the forest, and paying attention to the smells and feels and sounds.
i get so sleepy with deactivation, that meditation makes me drift off and that's not going the right direction.

really, i used to live in a low-level deactivated state, and back then it was exactly as you describe.
i did feel hunger but not too intensely and i really struggled to keep weight on. i had no aversion to food and did not intentionally withhold it from myself, it just wasn't urgent and i was busy. so i would get too skinny and then notice and eat all kinds of stuff to put weight on to a healthy weight again. it was an ongoing issue.

now, when i have a strong deactivation due to fear of loss, or becoming very intimate emotionally, i have noticed that i have no feeling of hunger and therefore forget to eat. i have gone all day with out eating and then realized i forgot, and didn't have any hunger to prompt or entice me so i just ate because i knew i have to. i have gone through layers of awareness of what deactivation does to me, how my nervous system and thoughts and feelings change, and recently i've been noticing my body in that state.

i've been aware of the extreme sleepiness for a long time but just recently noticed the lack of physiological cues including hunger. it's just an extremely subdued state for me. sometimes worse than others.

i think if i try walking outside and really being in touch with sensations it would be better than laying down like i usually do , to meditate or relax. i'm thinking if i get myself more active and in some fresh air and pleasant sensory environment in the forest i might come around to myself a bit quicker.

and maybe it will make me hungry!

Anne, I think we have not learned to plug in because our parents would have drained us or filled us with poison if we had.

I can destress with long term friends, because I have seen them be there for me and be good to me over the course of a decade or more.
But before I can come to someone with my hurting heart, I need to trust them not to use it against me.

With newer friends, if trust is there, even if it is not the deepest trust yet, I can share issues but will feel extra stressed while doing so. It still does deepend the connection and it a healthy action, but in the short term very painful and scary. Like ripping off a scab to take out the puss. It is by no means a source of comfort.

goldi you know i relate to this so much, having had my vulnerability mocked and turned against me in the cruelest of ways also in my family of origin.
plugging in to others for help has been very damaging for me in the past, and while i have a number of safe people whom i share with, when i am deeply deactivated i cannot get through the thick glass to reach out, unless i can manage to catch myself early when i first start sliding into the pit, or have managed to claw my way up out of it a little, or have lain at the bottom until it has resolved on its own and i have lost 2-3 days of my precious life to my damaging past.

it's the most important work of my life to keep going at this.