Post by outlander81 on Oct 1, 2018 9:43:08 GMT
after breaking up with my FA boyfriend of 4 years around a month ago and got over my love addiction to him to some extent now, it's been a real shocker how much of the relationship I literally made up in my head to ignore all the glaring red flags and events throughout the 4 years, that were obvious the relationship was not helping either of us grow as people.
It's hard because he obviously partly wanted me to do that, despite all the protestations of 'don't put me on a pedestal', which i suppose is human nature especially when you have zero self esteem like he does, then here is this person who imagines you are amazing and have all this potential and if they just love you enough maybe this time you will get over the avoidance of life and become someone in the world...
wow, what a joint delusion. I feel like such an idiot but trying not to be hard on myself. The mind is a powerful thing. when people have been damaged like we both were, they make up a lot of stuff to protect them and to avoid having to really deal with issues they are not ready to look at.
I have had an epiphany about emotional oversharing this week that this is one of my main issues and where it comes from. So he could be on the other end saying, well she wasn't ready to deal with her emotional oversharing when we were together! and he would be right.
What a mess 
