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Post by happyidiot on Nov 5, 2018 8:40:05 GMT
- Have you ghosted a significant other before?
No, not as an adult. The fact that I never ghost contributed to my initial thoughts that I wasn't FA. I have very strong anti-ghosting ethics and would never do that to someone because I think it is horrible and cowardly and I have experienced being on the receiving end.
Sometimes I catch myself not replying to someone for a good long while, but it's after they said something that didn't necessitate a quick reply (or any) and not like when we are supposed to have plans or something, and if they double-text I will certainly reply. And even when I do that I feel bad about it.
- Have you been ghosted before? How did that feel?
Yes, multiple times. It is one of the worst feelings. I might feel shocked, perplexed, angry, sad, longing, self-blaming, insecure, abandoned, heartbroken, numb... or all of the above. I'm very sensitive to being ghosted even if it's by someone I only went on one date with or simply planned a date, if I was excited about them and they acted really excited about me. I find it mystifying why someone cannot even send a simple text to say they changed their mind. Even making up an excuse is better than vanishing.
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Post by lilyg on Nov 5, 2018 9:14:45 GMT
Have you ghosted a significant other before?
I don't think so. I sometimes stop responding or block someone if he's insisting after I told him I'm not interested. I just once ghosted a guy I accepted a date just before I got back with my partner. I felt bad but I guess it was a very uncomfortable conversation with a stranger. Still felt bad, though. Have you been ghosted before? How did that feel?
Yes, when meeting guys on Tinder. They didn't ignore me but after they told me they wanted a 2nd or 3rd date next week and they just never called back and I never pursue. I don't mind as they're people I am not attached to. They always come back after some months. It's like the ettiquette nowadays: never regect, ghost and get ghosted. But I hate it. I remember a particular guy I was interested in some years ago. He acted super nice, met my friends' parents (they were my 'adoptive parents' haha), met my friends, introduced me to his, and often talked about me going to meet him while he traveled for work (he was filming a documentary). He seemed really sweet but I was a bit scared of him travelling all the time. But then he sometimes got cold and returned when I was ignoring him. When he was at his peak with me he suddently ghosted me and I found out he started dating another woman  I got so mad at first but then I was relieved I didn't end with someone that inconsistent. Still, I think it's not a very nice treatment with someone you've been seeing for some months. I could have understood that he was playing the field while waiting for that girl but he going all the way to make me feel he wanted something serious was very confusing (as I never requested such a thing). But I'm a person that needs 'labels' so I knew nothing was really lost. I think that if a person I was actually dating ghosted me I would feel terrible, but it would made my mind to say: this person does not care for me and I'm better off.
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Post by 8675309 on Nov 5, 2018 23:24:39 GMT
Have you ghosted a significant other before?No. Have you been ghosted before? How did that feel?
A few times but it was low investment and we were not really dating. It didn't really bother me much because of the non investment and I didn't have real feelings for them yet. I stung a bit as why cant one just man up and say it but... This was back in the day before it was called ghosting, we called it 'getting blown off'! LOL. I always took this as hes just not into you and I go on with my life.
My DA/FA guy ghosted on me several times. It hurt a lot because I have feelings for him, we were actually dating/talking daily. It also hurt as I know I was really good to him so how does one just crap on you like that... Its not like I have been crapped on by others but we get along so well and had good times together so it stung so much more. Then I stumbled upon attachment and his vanish act doesn't bother me so much. He always came back and I know he will be back again.
His last ghost/ignore me I sent a text to not contact me again unless he’s willing to work on his behavior. He has been in/out for a year now and I’m tired. I let it happen far too long. He will come back aware of his behavior putting in effort or he will come with his same crap.
I just keep on with my life and didnt chase him down. Im sure he would respond if I waited a week or two to contact, I just didn't, Im not going to chase anyone down to talk to me/be with me... He did expect me to chase him and I told him its not healthy behavior to chase down someone that acts disinterested/ignores you. I certainly dont see him chasing down a gal that ignores him and acts disinterested! LOL
We have been NC again for a few weeks now. He is up in my social media though. I have him on mute so I cant see his stuff to help me get over my feelings for him.
I dont know if mine is bothered at all, he does come back for a reason though and its not just because I let him.
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Ghosting
Nov 5, 2018 23:55:18 GMT
via mobile
Post by faithopelove on Nov 5, 2018 23:55:18 GMT
Have you ghosted a significant other before?No. Have you been ghosted before? How did that feel?
A few times but it was low investment and we were not really dating. It didn't really bother me much because of the non investment and I didn't have real feelings for them yet. I stung a bit as why cant one just man up and say it but... This was back in the day before it was called ghosting, we called it 'getting blown off'! LOL. I always took this as hes just not into you and I go on with my life.
My DA/FA guy ghosted on me several times. It hurt a lot because I have feelings for him, we were actually dating/talking daily. It also hurt as I know I was really good to him so how does one just crap on you like that... Its not like I have been crapped on by others but we get along so well and had good times together so it stung so much more. Then I stumbled upon attachment and his vanish act doesn't bother me so much. He always came back and I know he will be back again.
His last ghost/ignore me I sent a text to not contact me again unless he’s willing to work on his behavior. He has been in/out for a year now and I’m tired. I let it happen far too long. He will come back aware of his behavior putting in effort or he will come with his same crap.
I just keep on with my life and didnt chase him down. Im sure he would respond if I waited a week or two to contact, I just didn't, Im not going to chase anyone down to talk to me/be with me... He did expect me to chase him and I told him its not healthy behavior to chase down someone that acts disinterested/ignores you. I certainly dont see him chasing down a gal that ignores him and acts disinterested! LOL
We have been NC again for a few weeks now. He is up in my social media though. I have him on mute so I cant see his stuff to help me get over my feelings for him.
I dont know if mine is bothered at all, he does come back for a reason though and its not just because I let him.
My ex FA/DA will ghost me at times, too. It’s not usually a direct question that I send- usually a remark he won’t respond to and it does sting. He never did this ghosting when we were together- I think it’s his way of ensuring I don’t get the wrong idea that he wants a relationship...he wants clear boundary of casual and clearly he draws it. Most often done after we spend time together- he draws back for a few days. I’ve come to accept it is what it is with him....and possibly he deactivates after seeing each other as a way of coping. |
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Ghosting
Nov 6, 2018 0:01:02 GMT
via mobile
Post by epicgum on Nov 6, 2018 0:01:02 GMT
I "ghosted" a girl once. I liked her and we hung out, but she didn't seem interested so I figured "we can just be friends" then I started seeing someone else and next time I hung out she tried to hug me and was signaling that she was interested. Next time she texted I didn't respond because I didn't have the maturity to tell her I wasn't interested. I really regret it because who knows, we could have become good friends, but I don't feel guilty because it was only 1 or 2 texts I ignored.
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Post by 8675309 on Nov 6, 2018 0:12:30 GMT
Have you ghosted a significant other before?No. Have you been ghosted before? How did that feel?
A few times but it was low investment and we were not really dating. It didn't really bother me much because of the non investment and I didn't have real feelings for them yet. I stung a bit as why cant one just man up and say it but... This was back in the day before it was called ghosting, we called it 'getting blown off'! LOL. I always took this as hes just not into you and I go on with my life.
My DA/FA guy ghosted on me several times. It hurt a lot because I have feelings for him, we were actually dating/talking daily. It also hurt as I know I was really good to him so how does one just crap on you like that... Its not like I have been crapped on by others but we get along so well and had good times together so it stung so much more. Then I stumbled upon attachment and his vanish act doesn't bother me so much. He always came back and I know he will be back again.
His last ghost/ignore me I sent a text to not contact me again unless he’s willing to work on his behavior. He has been in/out for a year now and I’m tired. I let it happen far too long. He will come back aware of his behavior putting in effort or he will come with his same crap.
I just keep on with my life and didnt chase him down. Im sure he would respond if I waited a week or two to contact, I just didn't, Im not going to chase anyone down to talk to me/be with me... He did expect me to chase him and I told him its not healthy behavior to chase down someone that acts disinterested/ignores you. I certainly dont see him chasing down a gal that ignores him and acts disinterested! LOL
We have been NC again for a few weeks now. He is up in my social media though. I have him on mute so I cant see his stuff to help me get over my feelings for him.
I dont know if mine is bothered at all, he does come back for a reason though and its not just because I let him.
My ex FA/DA will ghost me at times, too. It’s not usually a direct question that I send- usually a remark he won’t respond to and it does sting. He never did this ghosting when we were together- I think it’s his way of ensuring I don’t get the wrong idea that he wants a relationship...he wants clear boundary of casual and clearly he draws it. Most often done after we spend time together- he draws back for a few days. I’ve come to accept it is what it is with him....and possibly he deactivates after seeing each other as a way of coping. We never even made it to couple! haha. Mine wasn't be clear on anything, he just ghosted after a couple week to a month of daily contact/seeing each other like we were going somewhere. In my eyes daily contact like that is not casual... Certainly not how I am with casual nor anyone I know...
I told him more than once I dont want casual/booty call and he could of said thats what he wanted... Frankly I cant do casual with him as he wont give me enough sex. Hes too inconsistent to even do FWB. Im not interested in sex once or twice every couple months! LOL And I dont want to sleep with multiple men to get my needs met, Id rather go without until I find a new guy that will give it to me at least once weekly! haha.
I know he needed down time after hanging out, I let him be more or less and didnt try to hang our or the like till the next week nor text him much, I actually barley text him at all and let him reach out. Two weeks in a row was as far as we got.
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I got so mad at first but then I was relieved I didn't end with someone that inconsistent. Still, I think it's not a very nice treatment with someone you've been seeing for some months. I could have understood that he was playing the field while waiting for that girl but he going all the way to make me feel he wanted something serious was very confusing (as I never requested such a thing). But I'm a person that needs 'labels' so I knew nothing was really lost.
