Finding a Voice

said poster caught herself in a trap accusing me of replying to epic without asking questions, without asking questions to see what i was responding to, which in fact was your silly comment. i didn't read all of epics stuff anyway and haven't picked up the debate on that, it doesn't bother me to disagree.

]she made assumptions while accusing me of making assumptions, and i guess got a little steamed about the whole exchange.
she didn't get the sarcasm, which is understandable but some people did, and no one died.

people come here angry at their dismissive ex and go on attack and say silly things to dismissives, is kind of how i see it. some of it is just silly and i believe a little sarcasm might be in order for some of the silliness here.

but again, we can disagree.
and use the block function, or say something sarcastic about silliness.

😁

If I misquoted you- you have my permission to call the forum police.

I disagree- this was not an AP/DA debate. I clearly disagree w you and I’m an AP. Sometimes I address nonsense. No matter the poster’s attachment style

What a thread.

I grew up in a single parent family where my Mum's friends would come over and bitch about blokes over coffee. I heard the lot, and that is why my daughter does not hear adult conversations, ever. I heard all those things above about men, and some real horror stories. As the only boy around, I knew mens' behaviour was sick. They were lecherous, only in it for one thing and would stop at nothing to get it. Men were not willing to commit, and were a total let down to women. I never wanted to make a woman feel that way. I still don't. Can you imagine what it's like going into adolescence with that tape going? Raging hormones and realising that I was actually one of those men. Just horrible. So, here I was with this almost Victorian view of women, and of course, wanting interaction but scared stiff. Why would they want anything to do with me? I'm just one of "those men". 

So, as a man, I am charged with taking the risk. Making the first move. Crossing that line from friend to something else. It's downright amazing I've been married twice. I've started seeing someone recently and she said "If I didn't kiss you on the way out the other day, would you have?" The answer would have been no. It doesn't even occur to me that someone would want me to take the risk, and when it does, I get scared for those reasons above. Then, I'm down on myself because of another missed opportunity.

I've done a lot of work around this. Paid a lot of money, pulled my life apart and put it back together, but this one is persistent for me.

Entitlement in all its forms is awful. Look at the whole #metoo movement. The thing is that somebody has to take the risk somewhere, and, sadly, it mainly still falls to men.