The ability to focus outside the relationship

I realized that one benefit that I am now experiencing is the ability to focus "outside the relationship"....for instance, I took care of a task that I had been putting off and did some research on Amazon for a new shredder.....in the past, the majority of my time would be spent dwelling on B (even though we are nolonger dating), reading posts here and having "if only" moments, distracting myself with TV, looking up relationship advice articles (trying to figure out how to win him back), looking at his FB page etc. etc...you get my drift.  What is starting to really sink in is that before,  I could not do the things I am doing now....I really could not....my brain was in a loop...it was stuck....and all I could do was focus on him, me without him, him being better without me, some other girl getting what I did not get (scarcity model, competition, need to prove myself, fear of failure), repeat....it was exhausting.....it still can be when I regress...but thank goodness it isn't for as long.  I only say that because I was aware of this before and could not do anything about it and it made me feel broken while it frrustrated my friends who are not relationship focused.  I want to encourage those who find themselves in the same boat...looping, unable to process a complete picture of life....to stop white knuckling it....to stop thinking that you are defective and to seek help....perhaps there is more than your attachment system at play....perhaps your hormones are off balance, perhaps you have low seritonin (like me) and need medication, perhaps you have some other underlying medical issue that makes it much harder to see light through the darkness.  Even if you don't have any of that, I ask that you are gentle with yourself....even as you feel so alone and stuck....know that we are all on this journey with you....and you are imperfectly ok.  Hugs.