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Post by tnr9 on Nov 16, 2018 2:38:42 GMT
So I was looking up enmeshment and found this.... m.youtube.com/watch?v=aDwYlZAE3Q4Warning...there are a lot of swear words..but I thought the definitions of trauma bonding, enmeshment, codependency and people pleasing were thought provoking....and hearing 2 guys speak to their childhood wounding was fascinating. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 4:25:56 GMT
I read his book recently and it was amazing.
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Post by alexandra on Nov 16, 2018 8:38:05 GMT
This is a really good one. I'd actually shared it via pm with someone on this forum several weeks ago too. It made me really impressed with Neil Strauss after being only so-so on him after reading The Game years ago.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 13:50:40 GMT
This is a really good one. I'd actually shared it via pm with someone on this forum several weeks ago too. It made me really impressed with Neil Strauss after being only so-so on him after reading The Game years ago. I didn't read The Game. I read The Truth, which I think is a very different book. I think he wrote the Game when he was in a very different place in his life. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 15:47:08 GMT
I really liked his explanation regarding divorcing your parents. I ghosted like the interviewer did many years ago, but I really need to do something more formal. My mother is now trying to enmesh with my daughter now that she has no access to me. Funny how my daughter was just talking about this to me last night right before I listened to the podcast. Thank you for posting this. It's really interesting.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 15:54:17 GMT
I really liked his explanation regarding divorcing your parents. I ghosted like the interviewer did many years ago, but I really need to do something more formal. My mother is now trying to enmesh with my daughter now that she has no access to me. Funny how my daughter was just talking about this to me last night right before I listened to the podcast. Thank you for posting this. It's really interesting. ive been through the exact thing with my mother. i reconciled to take care of her as she died and i did it with my heart but it was traumatic. however- i handled the estarangement formally, as a necessity. the solidity of it gave me a feeling of safety instead of feeling haunted by something left unsaid and undone. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 16:09:54 GMT
I really liked his explanation regarding divorcing your parents. I ghosted like the interviewer did many years ago, but I really need to do something more formal. My mother is now trying to enmesh with my daughter now that she has no access to me. Funny how my daughter was just talking about this to me last night right before I listened to the podcast. Thank you for posting this. It's really interesting. ive been through the exact thing with my mother. i reconciled to take care of her as she died and i did it with my heart but it was traumatic. however- i handled the estarangement formally, as a necessity. the solidity of it gave me a feeling of safety instead of feeling haunted by something left unsaid and undone. So sorry, I can see that being traumatic. I fear I will be in the same position one day. I am going to write her a letter even though I know she will not understand. My daughter is in her own process with her as well, pulling further away and reclaim boundaries. My brother divorced her before I did and my son will have nothing to do with her. It's sad that she cannot see. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 16:34:14 GMT
ive been through the exact thing with my mother. i reconciled to take care of her as she died and i did it with my heart but it was traumatic. however- i handled the estarangement formally, as a necessity. the solidity of it gave me a feeling of safety instead of feeling haunted by something left unsaid and undone. So sorry, I can see that being traumatic. I fear I will be in the same position one day. I am going to write her a letter even though I know she will not understand. My daughter is in her own process with her as well, pulling further away and reclaim boundaries. My brother divorced her before I did and my son will have nothing to do with her. It's sad that she cannot see. it was closure for me, albeit painful. i did a lot of work inside myself to be able to forgive and reconcile, and i took care of her tenderly with all my love. she was cruel to the end and i had to remove myself, but i was able to be the woman i am, authentically, and the daughter i wanted to be. i have peace, although the end was tragic. it's a lot. i am sending love about all that for you. it's a huge process. |
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Post by alexandra on Nov 16, 2018 16:34:53 GMT
This is a really good one. I'd actually shared it via pm with someone on this forum several weeks ago too. It made me really impressed with Neil Strauss after being only so-so on him after reading The Game years ago. I didn't read The Game. I read The Truth, which I think is a very different book. I think he wrote the Game when he was in a very different place in his life. Yes, the Game was before he did any of his self-work. I posted the newspaper article Strauss wrote around the time he published the Truth in another thread, and I liked that a lot as well which made me interested in picking that book up too. Just haven't gotten around to it yet. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2018 17:06:04 GMT
I read The Truth after my ex avoidant advised I read it following his new found awareness of his attachment style. I am really glad I read the book - it was mindblowing to me in some ways. I always knew my ex had a bit of an odd relationship with his mum, like they both track each other using some locations thing on their phones and it really weirded me out. I don't know to which parts he related to Strauss from the book, but it made me really understand that he often must feel smothered, not mothered. It allowed me to feel so much more compassion for him, that I became blind to when activated. Who wouldn't escape a situation in order to breathe?
Thank you for the link, I can't wait to listen!
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