|
|
Post by tnr9 on Dec 14, 2018 15:50:49 GMT
Just take it as a good day without adding anything more to it. I met B's parents after an almost breakup and hit it off great with them...started getting invited to a ton of family events and even got presents from his aunt and parents at Christmas. The more real it gets..,the more flexible/understanding you will need to be....the dance became even more pronounced because it was not just his doubts at play, but now his family had "input"....the same people who had influenced his fears as a child. B had a rough childhood and his relationship with his parents, while outwardly pleasant and teasing, inwardly...gosh....I don't know...his doubts always got bigger after we spent time with his family. Then there was...deactivation...he needed space/time to decompress exactly at the time when I thought we were growing closer. Looking back, I wish I had declined some invites...just to allow him space and not be seen upon so much as a couple outside of what he was comfortable with. I so wanted it to work and I thought more time with his family meant good things...but.....I failed to ask him what he thought...was he comfortable......how did he see "him and me" . I hope this ends up being a very good sign for the two of you....just keep the focus on today.
|
|
|
|
Post by stavs on Dec 14, 2018 16:50:02 GMT
Just take it as a good day without adding anything more to it. I met B's parents after an almost breakup and hit it off great with them...started getting invited to a ton of family events and even got presents from his aunt and parents at Christmas. The more real it gets..,the more flexible/understanding you will need to be....the dance became even more pronounced because it was not just his doubts at play, but now his family had "input"....the same people who had influenced his fears as a child. B had a rough childhood and his relationship with his parents, while outwardly pleasant and teasing, inwardly...gosh....I don't know...his doubts always got bigger after we spent time with his family. Then there was...deactivation...he needed space/time to decompress exactly at the time when I thought we were growing closer. Looking back, I wish I had declined some invites...just to allow him space and not be seen upon so much as a couple outside of what he was comfortable with. I so wanted it to work and I thought more time with his family meant good things...but.....I failed to ask him what he thought...was he comfortable......how did he see "him and me" . I hope this ends up being a very good sign for the two of you....just keep the focus on today. Deinitely good advice there tnr9 and I appreciate it. There is definitely a lot to consider as the dynamic is now changed once again. Her parents live 4 hours away, so I dont think it will influence much in a negative way. Her mind is always rolling though, so I am sure there are now many more doubts and concerns in her head....we shall see. |
|
