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Post by strangesituation13 on Dec 24, 2018 11:22:22 GMT
I would like to hear what specific methods you have all used to transition from AP to Earned Secure?
I am currently doing Dan Seigels online course called Writing a Coherant Narrative which takes me back through childhood traumas and helps me make sense and peace with them which has been very helpful so far. I have taken the potency out of several traumas so far. I am also doing inner child work, meditation and some visualisation work.
What worked for you?
Tia..
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Post by healingdays on Dec 25, 2018 2:17:25 GMT
Find a good therapist specialized in attachment trauma.
Get comfortable trusting them.
Be brutally honest about: who you see yourself as, how your actions conflict/merge with that idea of self, who you want to be, and what you want from relationships.
Trust in the process to heal. Expect it to be uncomfortable at first but empowering after.
In my experience this only works if you are willing to show or confront your real self. If you are AP you probably have a negative internal dialogue which you might not be aware of. You need to grow past that.
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Post by leavethelighton on Dec 29, 2018 2:06:53 GMT
Although I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm "earned secure," I think you can get far by starting small. Every time you find a way to ask ask for what you want, face a fear, accept the previous reality you couldn't accept (or alternatively changed it depending on what your struggle is), you've taken a step...
What are you doing for trauma work? I always thought of myself as trauma free and low anxiety-- and all this "work" has led me to recognizing that I'm actually not trauma free nor low anxiety. Go figure! The anxiety part is improving but I need to do more research on the trauma thing.
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Post by strangesituation13 on Dec 29, 2018 3:16:59 GMT
Although I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm "earned secure," I think you can get far by starting small. Every time you find a way to ask ask for what you want, face a fear, accept the previous reality you couldn't accept (or alternatively changed it depending on what your struggle is), you've taken a step... What are you doing for trauma work? I always thought of myself as trauma free and low anxiety-- and all this "work" has led me to recognizing that I'm actually not trauma free nor low anxiety. Go figure! The anxiety part is improving but I need to do more research on the trauma thing. "Every time you find a way to ask ask for what you want, face a fear, accept the previous reality you couldn't accept (or alternatively changed it depending on what your struggle is), you've taken a step.." Yep i too see asking for what I want (and knowing what I want) as a big part of my path towards secure attachment. Funny that you say you never knew you were anxious or had trauma. Same for me. Its been a rough ride and i feel pretty raw some days. Sometimes i feel like i don't actually know me. Im learning to turn the attention inwards bit by bit and im mostly optimistic now |
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