Post by leavethelighton on Feb 25, 2019 3:51:36 GMT
It strikes me tonight, looking back, that some of the more haunting moments of my past were driven by fear, though I didn't always realize it at the time. There were doors that at some deep level I wanted open that were in fact open, and I didn't walk through them because I convinced myself that I couldn't or that I actually didn't want to, but the real reason I didn't walk through them was that I thought it could be too painful.
Some of them were big ones (like the opportunity to shift from friendship into romance and I didn't take it) and some were smaller ones (like the opportunity to receive information about something, and I declined, and have wished I could know ever since). But it's hard not to look back with poignancy and regret.
I know part of the answer is to have compassion for our past selves and why we made the choices we did, and part of it is to have LEARNED something so that we'd do differently in similar situations now.
Still...I still wish I'd have made different choices at the times. I wish I could tell people sorry, that isn't really what I wanted at the time.
Some of them were big ones (like the opportunity to shift from friendship into romance and I didn't take it) and some were smaller ones (like the opportunity to receive information about something, and I declined, and have wished I could know ever since). But it's hard not to look back with poignancy and regret.
I know part of the answer is to have compassion for our past selves and why we made the choices we did, and part of it is to have LEARNED something so that we'd do differently in similar situations now.
Still...I still wish I'd have made different choices at the times. I wish I could tell people sorry, that isn't really what I wanted at the time.
