Post by trickyone on Jun 1, 2017 19:05:56 GMT
Hi all, curious to know what a Dismissive Avoidant actually means if they say they love you and miss you. I had a slow-moving relationship with mine most of last year, I knew he was struggling at times with self-medicating so gave lots of support/space (would say I am pretty secure and independent, single mum with a great network of family/friends). He has had lots of abandonment in his life and knows he pushes people away.
We got closer and had 4/5 months of what I would call a steady relationship, saw each other weekends and once in week, contact initiated from both sides. He was physically close when we were together. I was happy with this but knew he still struggled with family relationships. He made an effort with my child (young teen) and I met his close friends.
He went travelling for a few months and we kept in touch, he called a few times, texted and sent a valentines message. He then sent a message saying he didn't deserve me and thought we had broken up before he went. A few months on, we met up and he said he thought we were just casual and couldn't understand why I waited for him (he was teary at this point) but that he loved me.
He makes it sound so logical but if I love someone I want to try and be with them! I have gone NC for now but miss him not being in my life. He says he needs to change but I know that's down to him and I can't influence it. My question is what he as a DA might feel as love, am guessing it's different to securely attached people?
We got closer and had 4/5 months of what I would call a steady relationship, saw each other weekends and once in week, contact initiated from both sides. He was physically close when we were together. I was happy with this but knew he still struggled with family relationships. He made an effort with my child (young teen) and I met his close friends.
He went travelling for a few months and we kept in touch, he called a few times, texted and sent a valentines message. He then sent a message saying he didn't deserve me and thought we had broken up before he went. A few months on, we met up and he said he thought we were just casual and couldn't understand why I waited for him (he was teary at this point) but that he loved me.
He makes it sound so logical but if I love someone I want to try and be with them! I have gone NC for now but miss him not being in my life. He says he needs to change but I know that's down to him and I can't influence it. My question is what he as a DA might feel as love, am guessing it's different to securely attached people?