Dealing with escalating committment

@shiningstar, milestones aren't a big deal, at least not in a stressful way. Unless there's some logistic issues involved (ie, can't agree on neighborhood for where to move in together, but the tension isn't about moving in itself).

For insecures, there may be one of two issues going on, or actually both. One, someone is insecure with how they feel about themselves/the relationship due to attachment issues. Two, someone is fine with the relationship and partner, but insecure with how they feel about themselves/their parents... they get much more triggered by and around their family than normal, and it causes all sorts of issues.

Are you having these issues communicating with any relationship progress or does it seem to revolve around meeting family specifically?

Why do YOU think IT is a big deal ?
What is IT That You want him to say ?

When a relationship develops natuarally and You are around 3 months in  Up to 1 year  IT is only natural that a  healthy partner wants you to meet their friends and family.
They are even visiting town!

I would Be more concerned if my partner wouldent let me meet his family and friends. 

Be something cultural maybe.

I do not remember your own and your partners attatchment style.

But You are still in the honeymoon fase ?
Where do You live and where does your boyfriend come from ?

Yes sounds like cultural differences and some insecure attatchment patterns going on maybe.

Maybe You can try to relax and enjoy the ride for a while ? Lean back into your chair and ovserve how the parents talk to your boyfriend, how they talk to eachother  how your boyfriend talks to his parents,
and how they talk to you ect ?

A partners
 parents can tell You a Lot about your partner.

If You are nerveus You can try to do some  of the 
Selfregulation exercises. And maybe talk to your boyfriend? So That He can help You when You are Meeting his parents.

Also for men IT can take 1-2 years to commit while women wants to commit after 3 months.

I don't introduce partners to my parents unless it's serious enough to warrant my effort in fielding more questions from my parents about the person over time, but meeting my parents in itself isn't a big deal or indicating I'm decided about getting married etc. I'll have probably told my parents early on that the person exists if I've been consistently seeing them. If my parents made a big deal about expectations, then I probably wouldn't want to introduce someone unless I was sure they'd stick around, but culturally-speaking they're interested but not trying to dictate my life or that meeting someone I'm with HAS TO MEAN x, y, z.

Your description sounds like you've got two things going on. You want more solid definition in the trajectory of the relationship, but you're afraid if you bring it up and state your intentions, he'll give you an answer you don't want. And for you, it's possible that culturally-speaking, meeting your parents means something it may not necessarily mean for him, and maybe he doesn't even realize that. (Though, it still means something, most people don't just introduce partners to parents casually.)

Can you tell him you're excited to meet his family but it's a big deal for you because your family places a certain type of expectation on such meetings even if you yourself do not have those expectations (assuming you actually don't quite yet), so you want to make sure you know how to approach this to not be too nervous because you care to make a good impression?

I'd keep in mind that if he's been DA, even if he's healed his attachment wounds, it came from somewhere, and his parents may be dismissive with him and don't easily give him their approval. If that's the case, be empathetic to him, but stand your ground about communicating once you calmly figure out what you want to say.

If this is more about, how serious are we and where are we going in this relationship? And less about family... you can tell him how you feel and what you want at any time, with no expectation or pressure on him, and let him respond and step up to meet you, or not. But if it's only been 3 months, I'd say you don't know each other that well yet and if he's still moving things forward and generally wants commitment in his life, ie things are escalating at a pace you desire, then keep getting to know him and gauging your own compatibility and feelings for a while. That's the point of dating. Asking him to be sure things are moving towards marriage after 3 months is a lot in my culture, which isn't the same as yours. But making sure he's serious enough that marriage in whatever time frame you're looking for isn't OFF the table because YOU are dating with that goal (if you haven't already communicated that) also seems reasonable.