Post by hydrocarbon on Jun 22, 2017 0:21:41 GMT
How do you know when to be understanding of a DA? Where do you draw the line when they are saying hurtful things? My ex said some things that were very painful to me, but I don't know how to look at this.
There were red flags along the way, but I didn't pick up on them at the time. I remember now that he would get really grumpy at times (probably due to his stressful work environment) and take things out on me without communicating why he was upset. Sometimes we would lay in his bed and he would never make eye contact. He would even pretend to be asleep sometimes to get out of talking. But then if I would leave the room in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, he would jump up and ask where I was going like he was worried.
One major red flag ... He told me that he likes to put in as little work as possible in his relationships. There were quite a few times when he would do/say something hurtful to me, and he would just respond by telling me that if I didn't like it then I should stop talking to him. I have never had anybody say that to me... especially because in normal situations the other person would apologize for being hurtful rather than saying we should just stop talking?
Some of the mean things include him joking with me about my appearance a couple of times. Nothing too major, but it was hurtful. He also told me that I dress like a grandma. He did tell me that I looked nice on different occasions, but it was rare. He even spent a whole thirty minutes joking with me that I somehow look like a troll. I know I don't look like a troll, but I have no idea where that came from. Mind you he is 34. I know he is very insecure, so I'm not sure if that had something to do with it. He got mad at me the first time I met his best friend and he yelled at me right in front of him to leave because I was getting on his nerves. I think he was jealous that his best friend and I were getting along well. He also told me that the problems I had with him were things no other girl had complained about. I find that very hard to believe considering he told me his last two ex gfs fought with him a lot.
Do a lot of DAs have a mean streak? I used to think my ex was the sweetest guy because he was always doing favors for our mutual friends and for his grandparents. He has photos of his family all over his house and seems like such a family guy. He was so sweet and empathetic in the beginning. Which person is he really? Is this normal for DAs?
There were red flags along the way, but I didn't pick up on them at the time. I remember now that he would get really grumpy at times (probably due to his stressful work environment) and take things out on me without communicating why he was upset. Sometimes we would lay in his bed and he would never make eye contact. He would even pretend to be asleep sometimes to get out of talking. But then if I would leave the room in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, he would jump up and ask where I was going like he was worried.
One major red flag ... He told me that he likes to put in as little work as possible in his relationships. There were quite a few times when he would do/say something hurtful to me, and he would just respond by telling me that if I didn't like it then I should stop talking to him. I have never had anybody say that to me... especially because in normal situations the other person would apologize for being hurtful rather than saying we should just stop talking?
Some of the mean things include him joking with me about my appearance a couple of times. Nothing too major, but it was hurtful. He also told me that I dress like a grandma. He did tell me that I looked nice on different occasions, but it was rare. He even spent a whole thirty minutes joking with me that I somehow look like a troll. I know I don't look like a troll, but I have no idea where that came from. Mind you he is 34. I know he is very insecure, so I'm not sure if that had something to do with it. He got mad at me the first time I met his best friend and he yelled at me right in front of him to leave because I was getting on his nerves. I think he was jealous that his best friend and I were getting along well. He also told me that the problems I had with him were things no other girl had complained about. I find that very hard to believe considering he told me his last two ex gfs fought with him a lot.
Do a lot of DAs have a mean streak? I used to think my ex was the sweetest guy because he was always doing favors for our mutual friends and for his grandparents. He has photos of his family all over his house and seems like such a family guy. He was so sweet and empathetic in the beginning. Which person is he really? Is this normal for DAs?
