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Post by hannah99 on Jul 1, 2019 8:31:44 GMT
I believe my ex is da or fa.
In the beginning he came on quite strong. He was available and made some quite bold statements about his feelings. He made grand gestures and bought thoughtful gifts.
He's now with someone else. He cheated on me with her and within 3 months of leaving me made the decision to move in with her.
Is this typical of da/fa people? And if so, how are you supposed to know someone is da/fa in the initial stages?
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Post by stuckinamoment on Jul 1, 2019 14:52:35 GMT
mine acted somewhat like this...always reaching out, caring , was happy to hear from me, we would talk about relationships and he said he likes to communicate when problems arise ... he seemed open about his feelings towards me saying he was growing to care for me and he really liked me...he even told me he was fond of me. there were no clear signs of anything until we got closer that's what hurts for me three months i was really really happy and it just wasn't even who he is, he even wanted to buy a house eventually and wanted me to visit him at work
pit all ended when he told me of his phantom x
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Post by faithopelove on Jul 6, 2019 22:23:38 GMT
I believe my ex is da or fa. In the beginning he came on quite strong. He was available and made some quite bold statements about his feelings. He made grand gestures and bought thoughtful gifts. He's now with someone else. He cheated on me with her and within 3 months of leaving me made the decision to move in with her. Is this typical of da/fa people? And if so, how are you supposed to know someone is da/fa in the initial stages? - Yes and no. My ex DA definitely pursued me hard at first, showed up with a dozen roses on the first date and pushed for exclusivity when I had reservations. (His old texts astound me with their affection and enthusiasm.) He came on very strong and I showed little interest at first. In hindsight, that probably made him feel safer. However due to his fears he self-sabotages his relationships. He finds little things wrong and uses them for an excuse why the relationship can’t work. He told me he used to break up with girls for the smallest reasons, like their perfume, and he said he never opened up to anyone before me, even his wife. He found our conflicts to be the reason to end things with us but he’s always been honest and showed integrity. No cheating and to this today he remains alone like he told me he would. He’s very afraid of being hurt- afraid to open up and would rather bury himself in work and his kids. He makes himself available to me but only from the waist down. I thought he’d come around but still as cold and detached as ice. I don’t think he’ll ever give us another chance. And to answer your question the unwillingness to open up and lack of trust are two huge hallmarks of a DA. They don’t trust and have defense mechanisms to protect themselves. Very guarded with short relationships. They possess great self-control. Few friendships- they don’t need people. Successful and independent from the outside. They appear very alpha male. An FA will exhibit more back and forth behavior and some anxiety. You can read about FA behaviors on this site. |
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Post by hannah99 on Jul 7, 2019 7:19:32 GMT
I think from what you've said he's probably fa. Very insecure and anxious while at the same time claiming independence. I think he's scared people won't like him sometimes so pushes them away. I dont think that's what is happening with me though. I think he is in love with this other girl and is being very da cause he cant deal with my emotions.
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