Post by isildur4797 on Jul 9, 2019 12:22:05 GMT
While with her, I basically, I mentioned how even though I wasn't upset at all when she ended things, which she'd expected, I had been upset because I felt like I was being "faded" on --- it came up in conversation. She was not happy about that, especially because I brought it up like 3-4 times in that conversation. Felt insulted, because in her mind she had been telling me that she was busy, and stuff and so my stance was ridiculous. She had been saying that, but it really had felt like I was being "faded" on and like she wasn't interested -- we went from talking a lot to barely talking at all... And I knew stuff was happening but it just felt off. I just didn't expect to be told that i was "insulting" her. She talked a lot about how she needs to be trusted, and she needs people who aren't attached --- all fair things, but it just hurt to be told that way. Felt a little invalidating of how miserable I had been during that time. And we weren't in a relationship, so she didn't really owe me anything, but it still hurt.
So that conversation ended not great...and apparently I had already done that earlier in the week, without realizing it? Kept apologizing, apparently I annoyed her with that. I also asked her things I probably shouldn't have, and while she still answered I definitely put her on the spot and in an awkward position. So I do feel bad about that, and honestly got very sleep because I was thinking about it all night long. I'm in a very very weird position right now...now I'm worried that I will keep impulsively trying to get closure, or that this will have already jeopardized our chances at being friends.
That conversation never should have happened, tbh. I'm starting to reconsider everything, including how I handled her ending it (I was pretty happy with me reaction, but I spent several hours last night going over everything I said at the time and questioning it). She was super super busy during that time and stressed, and I feel bad because now I pissed her off. I talked about feeling shitty at a time when she had a lot going on in her own life. So obviously it wasn't fair to her. Also, apparently, being needy and anxious during that time was a huge huge turnoff to her ... (as someone who has been the FA, I have definitely felt that way before)...
So that conversation ended not great...and apparently I had already done that earlier in the week, without realizing it? Kept apologizing, apparently I annoyed her with that. I also asked her things I probably shouldn't have, and while she still answered I definitely put her on the spot and in an awkward position. So I do feel bad about that, and honestly got very sleep because I was thinking about it all night long. I'm in a very very weird position right now...now I'm worried that I will keep impulsively trying to get closure, or that this will have already jeopardized our chances at being friends.
That conversation never should have happened, tbh. I'm starting to reconsider everything, including how I handled her ending it (I was pretty happy with me reaction, but I spent several hours last night going over everything I said at the time and questioning it). She was super super busy during that time and stressed, and I feel bad because now I pissed her off. I talked about feeling shitty at a time when she had a lot going on in her own life. So obviously it wasn't fair to her. Also, apparently, being needy and anxious during that time was a huge huge turnoff to her ... (as someone who has been the FA, I have definitely felt that way before)...