Post by elizincali on Jul 11, 2019 19:29:50 GMT
i have posted on the DA thread but I think the man in question is a combination of FA/DA. we met thru family friends a year ago. While never committed and he.never wanted to tell family/friends about “us” nor did he want to put a title on “us.”. That didn’t bother me as much since i have young children and since my divorce haven’t brought a man into their lives.
we recently went one month not seeing each other after he ended things on the phone. he did reach out by text and calling about every 4 days when i finally said i wasn’t ready to see him or be friends only.
a month went by and i caved and let him come over two nights in a row. the second night, i asked him to talk.
he got up, insultes me called me a victim told me some nasty things and stormed off.
no contact for 3 weeks until he texted and called from the ER asking me to bring him a phone charger. i ignored him
i was too upset by the last abrupt ending.
after a few days, i ran into him. we talked he said he was hurt and then two days later he took me to dinner. we talked some more. “apologized” tho both feel equally hurt. the night was nice.
that wS two days ago. since then, nothing. it’s his pattern but i’m lost all over again.
i believe i’m mostly secure and instinctively have given this man all the space i could tell he needed from our first date. never married. longest relationship 1.5 years and it wasn’t serious.
the emotional chemistry is wonderful. our biggest issue and his biggest trigger is intimacy and sex. the last few months he sleeps on the couch and the last time we slept together i initiated it.
when i ask him to be honest about his feelings for me he is all over the place. i know he has romantic feelings but intimacy has become harder the closer we have become emotionally. deep down i’m hurt and sad and it’s a deal breaker but i can’t seem to let him go.
i never have been the one to contact him during our 3-4 breaks. he does and i think he will again but
can i expect him to desire more intimacy/sex? he has childhood abuse i have only vague details but he’s extremely independent but has told me he’s never been as close to a woman before in his life. doesn’t tell me he loves me but i believ that he does.
i guess i’m just looking for answers here. i would be satisfied if we shared more physically. i get his triggers now but they’re related to the underlying issues ...
thanks
we recently went one month not seeing each other after he ended things on the phone. he did reach out by text and calling about every 4 days when i finally said i wasn’t ready to see him or be friends only.
a month went by and i caved and let him come over two nights in a row. the second night, i asked him to talk.
he got up, insultes me called me a victim told me some nasty things and stormed off.
no contact for 3 weeks until he texted and called from the ER asking me to bring him a phone charger. i ignored him
i was too upset by the last abrupt ending. after a few days, i ran into him. we talked he said he was hurt and then two days later he took me to dinner. we talked some more. “apologized” tho both feel equally hurt. the night was nice.
that wS two days ago. since then, nothing. it’s his pattern but i’m lost all over again.
i believe i’m mostly secure and instinctively have given this man all the space i could tell he needed from our first date. never married. longest relationship 1.5 years and it wasn’t serious.
the emotional chemistry is wonderful. our biggest issue and his biggest trigger is intimacy and sex. the last few months he sleeps on the couch and the last time we slept together i initiated it.
when i ask him to be honest about his feelings for me he is all over the place. i know he has romantic feelings but intimacy has become harder the closer we have become emotionally. deep down i’m hurt and sad and it’s a deal breaker but i can’t seem to let him go.
i never have been the one to contact him during our 3-4 breaks. he does and i think he will again but
can i expect him to desire more intimacy/sex? he has childhood abuse i have only vague details but he’s extremely independent but has told me he’s never been as close to a woman before in his life. doesn’t tell me he loves me but i believ that he does.
i guess i’m just looking for answers here. i would be satisfied if we shared more physically. i get his triggers now but they’re related to the underlying issues ...
thanks
