Post by cmag82 on Jun 30, 2017 15:03:27 GMT
I just recently came across all of these threads about DA. I've been trying for months to figure out what went wrong with my now Ex boyfriend and now it seems to make sense.
I started an amazing relationship a year ago. He was very attentive, wanted to spend time together, said all the right things. I really believed we were going to grow this relationship into something great.
I always thought he suffered with ADD so many times he would go hours without responding to my messages. He never understood why that upset me so much and it was the cause of most of our arguments.
About two months into our relationship he pulled away completely and I told him I couldn't continue this way. He didn't respond. I tried to reach out to him for an entire week. He would not respond to me. Finally, on the day he knew he was going to see me at an event he messaged me saying we could talk after the weekend event and "p.s. I do miss you". After that event he avoided me for a few more days. Making excuses on why we couldn't get together or even speak on the phone. I basically had to force him to speak to me. Although he was "missing me" at some point he told me his heart just wasn't in the relationship anymore. Needless to say we worked things out and continued our relationship for many more months.
I felt like every time our relationship was going in the right direction he would pull away causing an argument and then from then on he "didn't want a relationship". He said the cause of his decision was because of all of our arguments. I tried to get him to understand that if he was just more available there wouldn't be any arguements. We never argued about anything significant. It was always about his unavailability.
Whenever I would try to express my intense emotions to him he would completely ignore what I said and if I brought it up he would get very defensive. I would send text messages saying sweet things and he would completely dismiss them and reply with something unrelated.
Recently he did not want me around his family. The biggest issue for me was with a recent family party. He invited me to this party so I waited all day for him to get off work so we could go to the party together. I had even gotten his cousin a gift and when I mentioned the gift to him he ignored my comment. I waited and waited for his call just to find out he went to the party without me. I was hurt and when he answered his phone he blamed me for not answering a text message and that's why he went to the party without me. He offered to pick me up but when I finally agreed he said he just wanted to go home from the party. He hung up on me and ignored me for the rest of the night despite my attempts to contact me. It was such a mean thing to do but I still can't accept that he's just a jerk. There has to be other reasons.
For months now he has told me he was been wanting to end this relationship but I always had a hard time accepting that and would somehow convince him to stay. At one point when I accepted our breakup he gave me a hug as I was crying and said he didn't know what was wrong with him and he needed to figure out his emotions. He said he didn't feel anything and he knew he should.
Finally after being told many white lies "to not upset me" we finally had our last argument. He once again went to a family party and tried to end things with me before said party. I couldn't understand why he was doing this. I tried to speak to him about it but he was VERY angry towards me and just wanted to get off the phone. We finally hung up after he agreed to call me later. Of course he never called and this upset me quite a bit. The next day he emailed me saying he was sorry and didn't understand why he couldn't just open up to me and have the same feelings for me that I had towards him. I was heartbroken and asked if we could talk to have some closure. He put me off for a few days. He asked to come over or speak to me at my convenience and then ignored my attempts to contact him. He was "busy" with work like he always is. Finally, days later, we spoke. He said there was no chance for our relationship anymore but he didn't want to lose me completely from his life so he wanted to be friends. He wanted to be there for me because he felt bad for all the terrible things he did during our relationship. I dropped it and have tried to be his friend but have also pulled away quite a bit. He told my brother he was very sorry for the way things ended and he never meant any harm towards me. He doesn't seem to understand how his actions affect people. He used to work for our mutual friend as well and completely pulled away from her. (But that's a whole other story).
So after about a week of no contact I reached out to him asking how he was doing and if we could talk soon. No response. It's so frustrating because I know he is avoiding me. Is he avoiding me because he knows he made a mistake and not speaking to me is a way to ignore his true feelings towards me? It's so hard to have him tell me he wants to be friends just to be ignored once again.
I started an amazing relationship a year ago. He was very attentive, wanted to spend time together, said all the right things. I really believed we were going to grow this relationship into something great.
I always thought he suffered with ADD so many times he would go hours without responding to my messages. He never understood why that upset me so much and it was the cause of most of our arguments.
About two months into our relationship he pulled away completely and I told him I couldn't continue this way. He didn't respond. I tried to reach out to him for an entire week. He would not respond to me. Finally, on the day he knew he was going to see me at an event he messaged me saying we could talk after the weekend event and "p.s. I do miss you". After that event he avoided me for a few more days. Making excuses on why we couldn't get together or even speak on the phone. I basically had to force him to speak to me. Although he was "missing me" at some point he told me his heart just wasn't in the relationship anymore. Needless to say we worked things out and continued our relationship for many more months.
I felt like every time our relationship was going in the right direction he would pull away causing an argument and then from then on he "didn't want a relationship". He said the cause of his decision was because of all of our arguments. I tried to get him to understand that if he was just more available there wouldn't be any arguements. We never argued about anything significant. It was always about his unavailability.
Whenever I would try to express my intense emotions to him he would completely ignore what I said and if I brought it up he would get very defensive. I would send text messages saying sweet things and he would completely dismiss them and reply with something unrelated.
Recently he did not want me around his family. The biggest issue for me was with a recent family party. He invited me to this party so I waited all day for him to get off work so we could go to the party together. I had even gotten his cousin a gift and when I mentioned the gift to him he ignored my comment. I waited and waited for his call just to find out he went to the party without me. I was hurt and when he answered his phone he blamed me for not answering a text message and that's why he went to the party without me. He offered to pick me up but when I finally agreed he said he just wanted to go home from the party. He hung up on me and ignored me for the rest of the night despite my attempts to contact me. It was such a mean thing to do but I still can't accept that he's just a jerk. There has to be other reasons.
For months now he has told me he was been wanting to end this relationship but I always had a hard time accepting that and would somehow convince him to stay. At one point when I accepted our breakup he gave me a hug as I was crying and said he didn't know what was wrong with him and he needed to figure out his emotions. He said he didn't feel anything and he knew he should.
Finally after being told many white lies "to not upset me" we finally had our last argument. He once again went to a family party and tried to end things with me before said party. I couldn't understand why he was doing this. I tried to speak to him about it but he was VERY angry towards me and just wanted to get off the phone. We finally hung up after he agreed to call me later. Of course he never called and this upset me quite a bit. The next day he emailed me saying he was sorry and didn't understand why he couldn't just open up to me and have the same feelings for me that I had towards him. I was heartbroken and asked if we could talk to have some closure. He put me off for a few days. He asked to come over or speak to me at my convenience and then ignored my attempts to contact him. He was "busy" with work like he always is. Finally, days later, we spoke. He said there was no chance for our relationship anymore but he didn't want to lose me completely from his life so he wanted to be friends. He wanted to be there for me because he felt bad for all the terrible things he did during our relationship. I dropped it and have tried to be his friend but have also pulled away quite a bit. He told my brother he was very sorry for the way things ended and he never meant any harm towards me. He doesn't seem to understand how his actions affect people. He used to work for our mutual friend as well and completely pulled away from her. (But that's a whole other story).
So after about a week of no contact I reached out to him asking how he was doing and if we could talk soon. No response. It's so frustrating because I know he is avoiding me. Is he avoiding me because he knows he made a mistake and not speaking to me is a way to ignore his true feelings towards me? It's so hard to have him tell me he wants to be friends just to be ignored once again.
