Post by soho on Jul 2, 2017 10:13:26 GMT
I've read a lot of interesting advise and views all of you have shared on this forum, but still have many questions unanswered.
I (somewhat anxious preocc) have been married to my somewhat dismissive wife for almost 9 years. We ve had many disputes, took EFT couple therapy and now I m seeing a psychologist to boost my self esteem. The latter is the best decision I made in years. I believe I m really doing better now and I m putting a lot of efforts in my relationship. My wife is doing efforts as well, but still blames me for everything that goes wrong. She now decided she has done enough of tolerating my mistakes and my behaviour and said she was going to take all the decisions and I just had to execute them if I wanted the relationship to last.
One day, I wanted to invite 4 friends at my place. She first agreed, but on that day she said I should cancel the whole thing. I didn t agree and said I d rather divorce than just following her orders. Since that moment she has been sharing all of my personal life to her girlfriends to convince them about how bad I am. I really felt so sad and angry about this, but she s so convinced of her side of the story...
Now, we re two weeks later. She still blames me for not having cancelled the BBQ with the 4 friends adding that she was deeply shocked by this event. There seems so few things I can do to convince her. I needed her until now, but am again considering to finally brake up. Next to this I still wonder if there really is no way to "punish" her for having shared all this personal stuff with her GF on the www.
With punish, I just mean getting into her, making her realize that she overreacted, and making her feel sorry in a way.
It seems like in the end she ll always makes sure she wins. She said she considered going to a therapist herself but she promptly added that she was sure he was going to tell her how right she s been all the time...
I (somewhat anxious preocc) have been married to my somewhat dismissive wife for almost 9 years. We ve had many disputes, took EFT couple therapy and now I m seeing a psychologist to boost my self esteem. The latter is the best decision I made in years. I believe I m really doing better now and I m putting a lot of efforts in my relationship. My wife is doing efforts as well, but still blames me for everything that goes wrong. She now decided she has done enough of tolerating my mistakes and my behaviour and said she was going to take all the decisions and I just had to execute them if I wanted the relationship to last.
One day, I wanted to invite 4 friends at my place. She first agreed, but on that day she said I should cancel the whole thing. I didn t agree and said I d rather divorce than just following her orders. Since that moment she has been sharing all of my personal life to her girlfriends to convince them about how bad I am. I really felt so sad and angry about this, but she s so convinced of her side of the story...
Now, we re two weeks later. She still blames me for not having cancelled the BBQ with the 4 friends adding that she was deeply shocked by this event. There seems so few things I can do to convince her. I needed her until now, but am again considering to finally brake up. Next to this I still wonder if there really is no way to "punish" her for having shared all this personal stuff with her GF on the www.
With punish, I just mean getting into her, making her realize that she overreacted, and making her feel sorry in a way.
It seems like in the end she ll always makes sure she wins. She said she considered going to a therapist herself but she promptly added that she was sure he was going to tell her how right she s been all the time...
