Post by guava on Jul 3, 2017 18:43:50 GMT
Is there a spectrum for DAs? What makes one DA more self-aware and accepting than another?
I dated a DA for about a year. When I first found this forum, I was shocked to see people commenting that they are DA, because I know my ex is so stubborn that I don't ever see him seeking help or therapy (or at least not for a long time). It seems as though some are aware of the problem and actively try to work with it.
I have so much respect for that. I assumed all DAs were stubborn like my ex and would not want to fix the issue even if they were aware. For example, my ex told me that he has a lot of issues he needs to work on before he gets married, but then again, when I asked him to attend counseling with me he said no. His response to going to therapy was teenage-like. He always mentioned that he was stubborn as well... almost to a degree where he seemed proud of it. He said being stubborn runs in his family. He also told me that his parents always tell people that he was an "easy child" to raise because he practically raised himself. I'm not sure if some avoidance runs deeper than others. Maybe it can run deeper if it stems from childhood rather than issues with peers? Or maybe it depends on the person and the level of pain they went through?
Some of the DAs who comment here or other forums seem to be very in touch with the problem, which I am so impressed by. However, like I stated earlier, that has not really been my experience. I have some DA tendencies as well, but I am happy to work on it and understand it. However, if I told my ex he is DA, I feel like he would not take it seriously at all.
I dated a DA for about a year. When I first found this forum, I was shocked to see people commenting that they are DA, because I know my ex is so stubborn that I don't ever see him seeking help or therapy (or at least not for a long time). It seems as though some are aware of the problem and actively try to work with it.
I have so much respect for that. I assumed all DAs were stubborn like my ex and would not want to fix the issue even if they were aware. For example, my ex told me that he has a lot of issues he needs to work on before he gets married, but then again, when I asked him to attend counseling with me he said no. His response to going to therapy was teenage-like. He always mentioned that he was stubborn as well... almost to a degree where he seemed proud of it. He said being stubborn runs in his family. He also told me that his parents always tell people that he was an "easy child" to raise because he practically raised himself. I'm not sure if some avoidance runs deeper than others. Maybe it can run deeper if it stems from childhood rather than issues with peers? Or maybe it depends on the person and the level of pain they went through?Some of the DAs who comment here or other forums seem to be very in touch with the problem, which I am so impressed by. However, like I stated earlier, that has not really been my experience. I have some DA tendencies as well, but I am happy to work on it and understand it. However, if I told my ex he is DA, I feel like he would not take it seriously at all.
