Post by gaynxious on Jul 17, 2017 20:53:17 GMT
I've posted this before in the general section which doesn't seem to get much traffic so I wanted to ask the question here again as t still interests me.
So from what I have read, the most likely pairing of attachment styles to produce long term relationships is secure-secure with the second being anxious-avoidant. It seems contradictory to me that 'research' shows secure-insecure pairings to be equally happy to secure-secure pairings if these relationships do not, on average, last as long as secure-secure. If they are equally happy, shouldn't both parties be just as willing to make them last?
Also, while most literature takes great effort to paint anxious and avoidant types as equally problematic, the findings that avoidants are more over represented in the dating population even more so than anxious would imply avoidants typically have less successful relationships.
Or is it merely that avoidants begin dating immediately whereas the anxious licks their wounds or immediately jumps into a relationship at the first opportunity? But then that would make them even less over represented in the single population wouldn't it?
Or is it that avoidants form relationships with a smaller percentage of the population, avoidant-avoidant relationships being exceedingly rare even compared to anxious-anxious relationships?
Any insights on reconciling these findings?
So from what I have read, the most likely pairing of attachment styles to produce long term relationships is secure-secure with the second being anxious-avoidant. It seems contradictory to me that 'research' shows secure-insecure pairings to be equally happy to secure-secure pairings if these relationships do not, on average, last as long as secure-secure. If they are equally happy, shouldn't both parties be just as willing to make them last?
Also, while most literature takes great effort to paint anxious and avoidant types as equally problematic, the findings that avoidants are more over represented in the dating population even more so than anxious would imply avoidants typically have less successful relationships.
Or is it merely that avoidants begin dating immediately whereas the anxious licks their wounds or immediately jumps into a relationship at the first opportunity? But then that would make them even less over represented in the single population wouldn't it?
Or is it that avoidants form relationships with a smaller percentage of the population, avoidant-avoidant relationships being exceedingly rare even compared to anxious-anxious relationships?
Any insights on reconciling these findings?