jules
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Posts: 142
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Birthdays
Oct 3, 2019 17:41:46 GMT
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Post by jules on Oct 3, 2019 17:41:46 GMT
I remember reading somewhere about the avoidance of birthdays for FA. Does anyone know why? Thanks
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Birthdays
Oct 3, 2019 18:24:03 GMT
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Post by alexandra on Oct 3, 2019 18:24:03 GMT
Definitely not all of them. I know plenty who celebrate.
But I've heard about discomfort from some with being celebrated (goes with difficulty accepting compliments too), don't like obviously being the center of attention, don't like the reminder that they're getting older [and may not be happy with where their lives are at], don't like to receive gifts, etc. There can also be anxiety about hosting and having it not be perfect / feeling rejected if people don't attend. All which may make non-FAs not like making birthdays a big deal either.
Some religions don't celebrate birthdays, so I have a secure friend who is uncomfortable with it because she didn't grow up doing so.
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Birthdays
Oct 3, 2019 18:26:24 GMT
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Post by alexandra on Oct 3, 2019 18:26:24 GMT
It's also possible birthdays weren't a joyous occasion when they were kids... with family fights or disappointments being the norm for their experience. So, birthdays can be a trigger. Same for holidays.
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Birthdays
Oct 3, 2019 20:14:16 GMT
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Post by hannah99 on Oct 3, 2019 20:14:16 GMT
My ex hated birthdays.
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jules
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Posts: 142
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Birthdays
Oct 3, 2019 21:42:34 GMT
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Post by jules on Oct 3, 2019 21:42:34 GMT
He was off around my birthday. woke up in middle of night to text me happy birthday first, his words. Tons of attention all day and no suggestion at all that night to see each other.
To him his bday is "just another day". Holidays too!! Yes!
Very insightful, thank you all.
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Birthdays
Oct 3, 2019 22:00:03 GMT
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Post by mrob on Oct 3, 2019 22:00:03 GMT
I really don’t like the fuss around birthdays. I do it with my daughter, but I feel very uncomfortable being fussed over.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2019 0:14:08 GMT
i like the idea that my friends or family will celebrate it for me, but there's alot of discomfort from people around me to demonstrate and give love, so when they do give it in the form of a celebration, it's awkward and that makes me feel awkward and the usual host of being unwanted or a burden. I also don't know how to receive it well - there was once at the place I interned at where all the interns surprised me with a cake and they were some warm and friendly, i burst into tears because it was the first celebration i had that didn't feel like it was an obligation or a burden to someone else.
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