Post by tnr9 on Oct 19, 2019 11:25:24 GMT
Hi all....I wanted to provide an update....last week was the first time my therapist provided some feedback. In a nutshell....the tightness I have been experiencing in my throat and jaw she thinks is tied to me not feeling like I had a “voice”. She thinks that there are many stories that caused this sensation of feeling like I had no voice and she wants me to journal each time I feel it and try to take it back to the root.
She also said that it was ok to be grateful for B provided...how he was the first man who I felt did not judge me for some of the things my parents did....and as such, he has become very special...so in that sense....holding onto to that aspect of him is a good differentiator and allows me to see one piece of what I am looking for in a partner. She also believes that I also gave him the same gift...but she also said that I can hold onto that aspect of him and not be in a relationship with him. Still working through that.
I also have a lot of enmeshment issues....where I basically allowed everyone else to define me and now i get to define myself.
I still miss B so much and I have a lot of moments when I get jealous of his new gf and wish he was dating me....but those moments are not lasting for as long as they used to.
She also said that it was ok to be grateful for B provided...how he was the first man who I felt did not judge me for some of the things my parents did....and as such, he has become very special...so in that sense....holding onto to that aspect of him is a good differentiator and allows me to see one piece of what I am looking for in a partner. She also believes that I also gave him the same gift...but she also said that I can hold onto that aspect of him and not be in a relationship with him. Still working through that.
I also have a lot of enmeshment issues....where I basically allowed everyone else to define me and now i get to define myself.
I still miss B so much and I have a lot of moments when I get jealous of his new gf and wish he was dating me....but those moments are not lasting for as long as they used to.
