Not sure where to post. AP and AD dating

Stan Tatkin is one of my go-to therapists! I've learned so much about checking myself and understanding/being more compassionate towards the island/avoidant... however, I honestly feel like he would only be helpful for mild avoidants and people who are willing to pursue self-growth. I might be biased, but I kinda feel that most of the folks drawn towards his work are waves/ap folks (as noted by the board). I found myself in a hole, reading more and more of this type of stuff in a misguided attempt to fix my relationship, to the point where I've learned to give -shockingly- a week of space without taking it personally or having an extreme activation reaction (and generally focused on myself, my reactiveness, my negative thought patterns, and not demonizing or trying to control him for his different coping strategies), but, in the end, I hit the very basic dilemma a lot of us face here: my partner doesn't really want to solve the conflict and look at his own underlying feelings/childhood/triggers or take accountability. Solving the conflict would mean closeness, and unfortunately, that's the Achilles heel of so many avoidants... and that's difficult to change without intense mediation or therapy. I always wanted to have a PACT session with my partner though.