Post by kittygirl on Oct 24, 2019 16:22:12 GMT
HappyIdiot (sorry I don't know how to tag people yet!!)
Thanks for this reply! Re: the conversation about dating other people...yes he knows that I want us to be "exclusive" and he has told me MANY TIMES that he has no interest in other people. To be clear, the conversations go something like this "Look, my preference is for us to be exclusive, but if you are not wanting to be exclusive then just tell me, and we can go from there." He definitely knew it would hurt me, because he chose not to tell me ahead of time, waited until he was drunk to tell me (which is how he brings up any tough topic) and then apologized about it a lot but still made those ridiculous comments about being extremely jealous (made in a later conversation while he was finally sober). I DO think he feels empathy so maybe that precludes him from a NPD diagnosis. It's just weird because most people on here seem to complain about their FA partners feeling little jealousy and yet mine seems to feel it to the extreme. Again, I do think there's a chance he has been AP triggered I don't know. But this is why i was curious what you guys thought since frankly you all are practically more experts than any of the "professional" stuff I have found online.
To be clear, I never got upset or angry with him (I don't do that anyway, and especially don't want to do that with someone who is hurting). BUT me being supportive of him in a bigger sense, like being there for him as he works through all of his issues (he has since made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in attachment issues), it separate from being there in a romantic sense. I definitely feel as though the "extremely jealous" thing was thrown out there to make me feel bad and like i'm being selfish if I follow up with my own needs (if that makes any sense). Thanks again to everyone who has chimed in. This has made me feel like I'm not experiencing all of this in a vacuum!
Thanks for this reply! Re: the conversation about dating other people...yes he knows that I want us to be "exclusive" and he has told me MANY TIMES that he has no interest in other people. To be clear, the conversations go something like this "Look, my preference is for us to be exclusive, but if you are not wanting to be exclusive then just tell me, and we can go from there." He definitely knew it would hurt me, because he chose not to tell me ahead of time, waited until he was drunk to tell me (which is how he brings up any tough topic) and then apologized about it a lot but still made those ridiculous comments about being extremely jealous (made in a later conversation while he was finally sober). I DO think he feels empathy so maybe that precludes him from a NPD diagnosis. It's just weird because most people on here seem to complain about their FA partners feeling little jealousy and yet mine seems to feel it to the extreme. Again, I do think there's a chance he has been AP triggered I don't know. But this is why i was curious what you guys thought since frankly you all are practically more experts than any of the "professional" stuff I have found online.
To be clear, I never got upset or angry with him (I don't do that anyway, and especially don't want to do that with someone who is hurting). BUT me being supportive of him in a bigger sense, like being there for him as he works through all of his issues (he has since made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in attachment issues), it separate from being there in a romantic sense. I definitely feel as though the "extremely jealous" thing was thrown out there to make me feel bad and like i'm being selfish if I follow up with my own needs (if that makes any sense). Thanks again to everyone who has chimed in. This has made me feel like I'm not experiencing all of this in a vacuum!
