Sticking the landing (stopping the break-up cycle)

Anyone? I'm wondering the same. TY

If this is happening because you're stuck in an anxious-avoidant trap with no co-morbidities (such as personality disorders or mental illness, which is even harder to deal with), then if both people are independently aware of their attachment issues and both truly self-motivated to get more secure and at the same timing point on their journey to get more secure, it is still difficult and unlikely but possible. It's a lot of stars aligning at once, though, and the chances of two people who haven't decided to face their individual issues yet both being in the same frame of mind to do the work is extremely unlikely. If the work was mutually started prior to meeting and both partners already prioritize emotional health, therapy, focusing on overcoming their issues, which means their values are aligned and compatible in this way, there's a better chance of it happening. I'd argue there's also a better chance of it happening if you're older and you've already fully experienced your dysfunctional romantic cycles for years so you actually know it's you and your own issues and not because of the partner (I'd say, early 30s or 40s+, much more difficult and less likely to fix this in teens or 20s -- younger people would be more likely to find a new partner and keep exploring relationships because they can and are still learning rather than stick it out in a toxic dynamic).

I have also not personally experienced it though have anecdotally but rarely heard or read about it. In my case, moving on and addressing my issues was by far the better course of action than the years I spent / wasted sticking it out in toxic cycles.

If it's true that every breakup cycle weakens and damages the relationship (and I believe that's true) you can imagine how a whole buncha breakup/makeups is unlikely to settle into a successful, flourishing longterm relationship.