So I'm an idiot

Use this as strength to not do it again. I read your story, and you don’t need to do this to yourself. You’re capable of dusting yourself off on this.

Here’s the reason you’re having an anxious time. When you used to put out emotional bids, they’d get ignored. But every once in a while they were received, reciprocated, and rewarded. The problem is, it didn’t follow any sort of rhyme or reason. It was just randomly, and seldomly, your emotional bids were met. Think about how that trains your nervous system. It goes haywire, because it can’t figure it out. This is what causes your addiction. Is not even real. It’s basically being out of balance. Time away will cure this. Make sure to attach to a secure next time

Best of luck, and really, in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing. With any luck, you’ll never see him in person again.

Jules you'll be okay. The closer to the 4 week NC mark you can get, the more you'll see that reaching out is pointless. You've just to keep taking one day at a time, and changing your habits incrementally.

This week I got real sick, it was one of those `maybe very bad' kind of pains that scared me a lot. I had to go to radiology and have some scary tests done. I cried the whole day I was so scared. I wanted so badly to just tell someone what I was going through while I waited for the test results.
So I reached out to some friends, and told them instead of my ex. They gave me soo much support and genuine warmth all through the day while i waited.(my test results came back good thankfully)

If i'd ever reached out to my ex for this kind of support when we were together, he would have ignored me and probably ghosted for a few weeks. Really stings thinking about how little he cared.
I'd rather give my time to good friends who do care, than waste another moment feeling disregarded and dismissed by someone who doesn't.


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Thank you everyone.

I saw the writing on the wall pretty much from the get go. Next time I won't fall for potential ever again. I wont ignore the red flags. It's amazing to me now how many 40 something men basically boast "never married no kids!!" on dating profiles. Huge red flag.

There's a reason smoking hot 43 y/o dudes with glorious penis' have never been married! Lol.
Silly me.

Honestly his not responding has given me that anger bit that Ross talks of in stages of grief. Happy to have moved onto that stage!!

Onwards and forwards.

I don't assume everyone has issues over forty not married and no kids, I'm just saying it's a cautionary tale.

That said, wanna hang out? Lol

I have long blonde hair, and like taking long strolls on the beach. Please project your traumatizing parent figures onto me. I just love copping the brunt of other people's poor parenting choices.

<3

Probably shouldn’t take the Michael, but if you didn’t laugh you’d cry, and goodness knows there’s too much of that in this.