Fantastic resource on attachment theory

I've definitely come across the notion of the omnipresent partner and the timeless space experience as to how avoidant's are motivated to be the way they are.
The 'in the same house but not the same room' need seems to be very common. As an anxious I was always wondering how to get my partner to want to spend more time with me and I often tried not being at home to get him to reach out but at times it was so taxing to find somewhere else to be just to make him miss me.
Does this strategy ever really work or does it just make the avoidant more insecure and more likely to feel like they aren't getting what they need out of the relationship? It seems like if you are going to be with an avoidant you just have to make peace with the idea that you won't spend much time together.

Help me with this. I watched the above video of Kristen Snowden, and I'm confused. She talks about love avoidants, but she seems to be referring to something different to DA or FA attachment style. She's talking about people who need to be needed and get into relationships to be a source of "met need" in an AP, but who then become anxious when they later feel engulfed. That's very different to people who simply don't want to commit and who quickly run after a few months of dating. The people I've known, including an ex, who have avoidant attachment style show very little desire to be needed at all. They seem mostly interested in their own needs. I, on the other hand, was in a ten year relationship and towards the end I absolutely felt engulfed by my partner's AP traits, and it led to exactly the sort of crisis she describes and ultimately ended the relationship, but I am not someone who meets the other criteria for avoidant attachment as I understand them. I actually think of myself as largely secure, and yeah, I want very much to look after my partner while at the same time being looked after and having independence. But if someone is anxiously preoccupied and leans on me too much, you bet your ass I'm gonna feel engulfed, and it happened once with catastrophic consequences for the relationship. Does that make me a "love avoidant"? Is a love avoidant a name for someone with avoidant attachment style, or is she describing something else, as would seem to be the case.

Lurker- good point. I think it is geared more towards So styles using relationships to get their own needs met and confusing need/clingy w love. What she describes as love avoidant sounds a lot like a commitment phone. Love avoidant is a broad term so don't try to place urself in that category if it's not you.
As AP it is good to hear what triggers the avoidant type. I've been clueless about it for so long. But yea neediness and clingyness and being manipulative w out feelings wud push anyone away.