|
|
Post by aislingt on Nov 26, 2019 8:03:24 GMT
Hi,
I've been more a lurker than a poster here, and have benefitted from the forum a lot. I'm posting to ask for help with reading suggestion(s).
I have a friend who I suspect is DA, or possibly FA. He's currently going through a big crisis including a break-up, and seems ready to look at the root of his relationship issues. He even says he's going to find a therapist for himself. He's not aware of attachment theory but from what I know about him he'd be able to grasp it quickly, including how it applies to him personally. My question is what's a good first read for someone who is avoidant (and, possibly, the dismissive kind.) I am a bit reluctant to suggest Jeb's book, which may put him on the defensive, and I wonder if DAs (and possibly FAs) on this forum have a better idea.
Thank you!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2019 10:24:25 GMT
https://https://dianepooleheller.com/blog/
Google Diane Poole Heller's Blog. My links aren't pasting well.
Any work by Diane Poole Heller, Peter Levine, Stan Tatkin.
Youtube Thais Gibson (I think is her name?)
Also some good threads in the general forum with information.
|
|
|
|
Post by aislingt on Nov 26, 2019 10:44:37 GMT
Thank you, inmourning! A book would be ideal in this case, but if nobody suggests one the internet resources you mention may be a good second best.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2019 11:02:47 GMT
You're welcome!
I haven't read their books, but these authors do have books available. I did a quick search on Amazon and found them.
I list them because their approach is supportive and compassionate, and founded on the understanding of how our nervous systems impact our attachment, and what to do.
There is a lot of stuff out there that leaves me scratching my head but Diane Poole Heller's approach in particular has helped me a lot.
|
|
|
|
Post by tnr9 on Nov 26, 2019 13:19:34 GMT
I think by far it is important that he find a therapist who is knowledgeable in attachment theory...more so then him reading about attachment. With that said...I am seeing a somatic experiencing therapist and am finding her approach to be caring, thoughtful and geared towards looking at the signals from the body and emotions. I truly believe that, whether DA, FA or AP...a somatic therapist can truly help.
|
|
|
|
Post by anne12 on Nov 26, 2019 13:57:06 GMT
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2019 15:09:03 GMT
I think by far it is important that he find a therapist who is knowledgeable in attachment theory...more so then him reading about attachment. With that said...I am seeing a somatic experiencing therapist and am finding her approach to be caring, thoughtful and geared towards looking at the signals from the body and emotions. I truly believe that, whether DA, FA or AP...a somatic therapist can truly help. This made my day. Hugs tnr9!!! (I'm seeing a somatic therapist too, aisling) |
|
Me
Junior Member
Posts: 54
|
Post by Me on Nov 27, 2019 1:37:46 GMT
https://https://dianepooleheller.com/blog/ Google Diane Poole Heller's Blog. My links aren't pasting well. Any work by Diane Poole Heller, Peter Levine, Stan Tatkin. Youtube Thais Gibson (I think is her name?) Also some good threads in the general forum with information. I like thais gibson too. She explains things in a really understanding empathetic way |
|
|
|
Post by faithopelove on Nov 27, 2019 2:00:56 GMT
https://https://dianepooleheller.com/blog/ Google Diane Poole Heller's Blog. My links aren't pasting well. Any work by Diane Poole Heller, Peter Levine, Stan Tatkin. Youtube Thais Gibson (I think is her name?) Also some good threads in the general forum with information. I like thais gibson too. She explains things in a really understanding empathetic way Thais is my favorite! |
|
|
|
Post by bohemianraspberry on Nov 27, 2019 7:27:18 GMT
Maybe the book Wired for love could be a good start.
Stan Tatkin use the terms "island" and "wave", instead of avoidant and anxious, to explain the differences and how to better understand each other.
As I remember he was respectful of the avoidant style, and addressed the benefits of having this style, not just the harmful aspects.
|
|
