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Post by alexandra on Dec 4, 2019 18:37:43 GMT
amber, FA is distrustful of both self and others and has no organized strategy for dealing with it, so that sounds in line with the patterns.
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Post by serenity on Dec 4, 2019 21:13:17 GMT
Thankyou The confusing thing is, he was always consistently a very affectionate person and always loving and caring when in his presence. He never withdrew energetically or was “cold” towards me. Was consistent with texts and calls (almost a little needy with texts)... but often did not make plans after the first six months we were together and didn’t initiate time together much. He said he “didn’t know what he wanted from a r/ship, or from his future in general” and lacked direction in life. Had a lot of trouble making decisions. So he was not super hot and cold and always into sex and touch etc. he did tell me Early in he “didn’t know how much he could open in relationship” (vague) and that he felt awkward and uncomfortable being in both intimate r/ships and friendships and didn’t involve himself in friendships as he felt he had to protect himself. He doesn’t sounds like some of the typical FA here I’ve read about. What do others think? Does he sound FA? Not to mention his poor r/ship history where he ran from every short term r/ship he had for the last ten years as the woman wasn’t “right “ for him anymore and he believes he just hasn’t met the right person. Amber, Probably only a mental health professional could say for sure. I lived with a vulnerable narcissist once, who followed the same relationship pattern. Technically they have FA attachment style, but it seemed to manifest differently to non narcissistic FA's I dated recently. He was very vulnerable, sexual, generally consistent and affectionate. Usually he couldn't sustain relationships beyond the honeymoon, and cut people loose, moved on. He thought he met someone `ideal' when we met. There were 6 months of `normal' , followed by 6 months of `something is off'. He cut me loose after a year, and I later found out it was because he had been pursuing other women for the past 6 months, though nothing had stuck(not saying your guy shows evidence of doing this- chasing other women can be just one of many ways FA's create distance ) . He cycled back several times until I cut contact with him. |
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Post by amber on Dec 4, 2019 22:47:23 GMT
Thankyou.i don’t think he was narcissistic, his self esteem was too low and he didn’t really show narcissistic traits. He was actually a very lovely and humble person. I think I’m having doubts about myself and doing some self blame stuff hence the doubting he is FA, maybe he’s normal and it was all my fault why things went wrong! Lol.
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