Post by erasure on Aug 16, 2017 3:57:37 GMT
Hi everyone,
To summarize I have been with my GF or ExGF for over a year and half with 2+ breakups. We get along really well and love each other's company when things are good which is usually the case. We text message just about every day multiple times a day when things are good.
Over the last year and half I have noticed signs of her possibly being a DA - 2 break ups by her end up with us touching base after 3 days and getting back together after a few weeks, a few unreasonable times she has found me annoying (once she said maybe she is the only one that finds me annoying) leading to the silent treatment for days or a week, when I ask her for her thoughts or feelings on our relationship - she never answers just stares in silence, when I say I have feelings for her and love her - she sometimes says "don't be silly" or sits there with no reply, she never said she loves this or that about me, she rarely kisses, she mentioned in the past that she does not "miss anyone", has never mentioned I should meet her friends, she does not elaborate on her time spent with friends or what she does on her days/times not spent with myself, never spoke about her past relationships, is very private about certain aspects of her life and whereabouts, I asked her to meet my friends and she has yet to do so, after a dispute I ask for input or how she feels - there is never a response, we never speak about our relationship, when she is angry or annoyed it is very bad - she is hurtful in what she says, further she has never apologized to me.
Anyways, her birthday was a little over 2 weeks ago and I mentioned I wanted to take her out for her Bday that weekend if she had time with her already busy weekend with her friends. She said maybe Saturday night after her obligations. Saturday night comes and she said she was too tired so she just want to sleep - we can do dinner next another day. Possibly Monday or Thurs night. So Monday I message her - I'd like to take you out to dinner if you are free tonight. No reply all day so I messaged her Monday night - are you ok? No reply until Tuesday morning - which she says "Yes, (my cute name she calls me)". So I say - you said we could likely meet up Monday or Thurs night for your Bday dinner. We only seen each other twice in the last couple of months. I still like to take you out to dinner one night this week if you aren't too busy. She says I wasn't sure and it was a maybe about those days we could meet up for dinner. \The two days after I messaged my usual Good morning and HI messages - no replies. The 3rd day after I messaged her Good morning. Why the silence and no replies? This makes me feel sad. If there is an issue or if you are upset we can talk about it. Or if you need some space that is fine as well. No replies. A week later I send her a HI and no reply. Now its been another week - a total of two weeks+ since her last contact.
I am hurt, sad, and want to give her support. My anxious part of me has been wanting to contact her - ask her if she has been well and if there is any issues, if she needs any support I am here for her. I always wanted to give her support and hoped that she may become self aware of what she is doing. I had wanted to speak to her about Attachment types and our relationship - but I have a feeling she may take it as an attack on her as she said in the past she is a great communicator and very normal.
So after 2+ weeks of the silent treatment or ghosting by her what should a gentleman that still wants to give us another try do? I am getting tired of the emotional stress, hurtful, childish, and disrespectful treatment I have received over the past year and a half. Yet I still believe what I told her - that I love 97% of who she is but the 3% is her not opening up and her anger issue (a few months ago after reading about Attachment Types now I believe she is DA/FA which possibly fuels or seemed like her anger issue) - I still want to work together on building our relationship (but I know it has to be from both sides). Should I contact her with another Hi message soon or wait and see if she contacts me? Is there any way I can approach/contact a DA or best to leave them alone for a longer period of time?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts and suggestions.
erasure
To summarize I have been with my GF or ExGF for over a year and half with 2+ breakups. We get along really well and love each other's company when things are good which is usually the case. We text message just about every day multiple times a day when things are good.
Over the last year and half I have noticed signs of her possibly being a DA - 2 break ups by her end up with us touching base after 3 days and getting back together after a few weeks, a few unreasonable times she has found me annoying (once she said maybe she is the only one that finds me annoying) leading to the silent treatment for days or a week, when I ask her for her thoughts or feelings on our relationship - she never answers just stares in silence, when I say I have feelings for her and love her - she sometimes says "don't be silly" or sits there with no reply, she never said she loves this or that about me, she rarely kisses, she mentioned in the past that she does not "miss anyone", has never mentioned I should meet her friends, she does not elaborate on her time spent with friends or what she does on her days/times not spent with myself, never spoke about her past relationships, is very private about certain aspects of her life and whereabouts, I asked her to meet my friends and she has yet to do so, after a dispute I ask for input or how she feels - there is never a response, we never speak about our relationship, when she is angry or annoyed it is very bad - she is hurtful in what she says, further she has never apologized to me.
Anyways, her birthday was a little over 2 weeks ago and I mentioned I wanted to take her out for her Bday that weekend if she had time with her already busy weekend with her friends. She said maybe Saturday night after her obligations. Saturday night comes and she said she was too tired so she just want to sleep - we can do dinner next another day. Possibly Monday or Thurs night. So Monday I message her - I'd like to take you out to dinner if you are free tonight. No reply all day so I messaged her Monday night - are you ok? No reply until Tuesday morning - which she says "Yes, (my cute name she calls me)". So I say - you said we could likely meet up Monday or Thurs night for your Bday dinner. We only seen each other twice in the last couple of months. I still like to take you out to dinner one night this week if you aren't too busy. She says I wasn't sure and it was a maybe about those days we could meet up for dinner. \The two days after I messaged my usual Good morning and HI messages - no replies. The 3rd day after I messaged her Good morning. Why the silence and no replies? This makes me feel sad. If there is an issue or if you are upset we can talk about it. Or if you need some space that is fine as well. No replies. A week later I send her a HI and no reply. Now its been another week - a total of two weeks+ since her last contact.
I am hurt, sad, and want to give her support. My anxious part of me has been wanting to contact her - ask her if she has been well and if there is any issues, if she needs any support I am here for her. I always wanted to give her support and hoped that she may become self aware of what she is doing. I had wanted to speak to her about Attachment types and our relationship - but I have a feeling she may take it as an attack on her as she said in the past she is a great communicator and very normal.
So after 2+ weeks of the silent treatment or ghosting by her what should a gentleman that still wants to give us another try do? I am getting tired of the emotional stress, hurtful, childish, and disrespectful treatment I have received over the past year and a half. Yet I still believe what I told her - that I love 97% of who she is but the 3% is her not opening up and her anger issue (a few months ago after reading about Attachment Types now I believe she is DA/FA which possibly fuels or seemed like her anger issue) - I still want to work together on building our relationship (but I know it has to be from both sides). Should I contact her with another Hi message soon or wait and see if she contacts me? Is there any way I can approach/contact a DA or best to leave them alone for a longer period of time?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts and suggestions.
erasure
