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Post by Helsbells on Jan 12, 2020 16:07:39 GMT
Hi guys after barely sleeping last nice my insecurities have really kicked in today.
The big hole of being blocked on everything from my ex FA has had me ruminating and changes the reality story to the fantasy Truama bonded story that has been playing out for both off us for the last to years.
I hate this truama shit right now.
I'm seeing him as this strong man that can just so easily walk away with out a care.
Not a good day all round.
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Post by tnr9 on Jan 12, 2020 16:26:33 GMT
Hi guys after barely sleeping last nice my insecurities have really kicked in today. The big hole of being blocked on everything from my ex FA has had me ruminating and changes the reality story to the fantasy Truama bonded story that has been playing out for both off us for the last to years. I hate this truama shit right now. I'm seeing him as this strong man that can just so easily walk away with out a care. Not a good day all round. Hey hellsbells...I am sorry you are having a bad day. So, the best way to counteract a thought is to get grounded back into reality....name three things you hear, see, feel, smell in your surrounding area. Also....your brain has landed on one option...”he was brave”...and built on it....he can leave anyone at anytime. I would really suggest that you get curious about what other ways blocking could be interpreted. Let me add a couple of options.,,He blocked you because he did not know an adult way to deal with his feelings and as such, this will continue into his future relationships. He blocked you because he knew you deserved better and he knew that he would be tempted to reach out again and would simply hurt you again. Remember that you cannot read his mind or his intentions.....so there are multiple options as far as why he did what he did. Our brains often want to understand and will often catastrophize things..in part because we have been trained through media etc to see things in a very negative light. You are not alone in this...do something nice for yourself...get a massage....take a walk....spend time with friends...get back to joy. |
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Post by Helsbells on Jan 12, 2020 16:53:41 GMT
Hi guys after barely sleeping last nice my insecurities have really kicked in today. The big hole of being blocked on everything from my ex FA has had me ruminating and changes the reality story to the fantasy Truama bonded story that has been playing out for both off us for the last to years. I hate this truama shit right now. I'm seeing him as this strong man that can just so easily walk away with out a care. Not a good day all round. Hey hellsbells...I am sorry you are having a bad day. So, the best way to counteract a thought is to get grounded back into reality....name three things you hear, see, feel, smell in your surrounding area. Also....your brain has landed on one option...”he was brave”...and built on it....he can leave anyone at anytime. I would really suggest that you get curious about what other ways blocking could be interpreted. Let me add a couple of options.,,He blocked you because he did not know an adult way to deal with his feelings and as such, this will continue into his future relationships. He blocked you because he knew you deserved better and he knew that he would be tempted to reach out again and would simply hurt you again. Remember that you cannot read his mind or his intentions.....so there are multiple options as far as why he did what he did. Our brains often want to understand and will often catastrophize things..in part because we have been trained through media etc to see things in a very negative light. You are not alone in this...do something nice for yourself...get a massage....take a walk....spend time with friends...get back to joy. @trn9 Thank you for responding really appreciate it lovely. I think the first one you suggested on reasons why he blocked me might be nearer the truth. Not that long after we met, he was talking about a past relationship that was the one he said broke him and appeared to define him. I asked what happened. He said well " when I spoke to her she said you didnt even knowledge that my mother had died. He said i told her how could i as we weren't in contact. He then went on to say you know the way I just dissapear ". I didnt really know him enough at that point but soon learnt that was what he does do in conflict so I doubt I have heard the last off him. |
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Post by annieb on Jan 18, 2020 16:00:33 GMT
Hi guys after barely sleeping last nice my insecurities have really kicked in today. The big hole of being blocked on everything from my ex FA has had me ruminating and changes the reality story to the fantasy Truama bonded story that has been playing out for both off us for the last to years. I hate this truama shit right now. I'm seeing him as this strong man that can just so easily walk away with out a care. Not a good day all round. No FA or DA is waking away as a strong man. It’s their deactivation strategy and they will come to a head with it at one point or another. At which point it will be too late to salvage this relationship. I would thread carefully on trying to continually take blame for it all and really start working on yourself. |
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Post by mrob on Jan 18, 2020 20:27:12 GMT
You’ll find you won’t be sleeping well in the next little while. It’s a part of it Helsbells. |
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Post by nyc718 on Jan 21, 2020 19:21:12 GMT
Hi guys after barely sleeping last nice my insecurities have really kicked in today. The big hole of being blocked on everything from my ex FA has had me ruminating and changes the reality story to the fantasy Truama bonded story that has been playing out for both off us for the last to years. I hate this truama shit right now. I'm seeing him as this strong man that can just so easily walk away with out a care. Not a good day all round. There's a lot of good content on Youtube regarding trauma bonding, just type that in to the search and things will come up. Sending you hugs. |
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