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Post by Helsbells on Jan 22, 2020 22:52:29 GMT
So my ex fa unlocked me after blind siding me and leaving me again. He told me he is so so sorry for the way he has treated me and I am the most gorgeous person he has ever known. He told me he has bee putting money into my account as he worries about me and doesn't want me to stress about money. This was un benown to me so I checked my account and the money is there I chose to respond to his text tonight to thank him for the money but he appeared distant. Dont know what to make of this behaviour xx
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Post by alexandra on Jan 22, 2020 23:27:27 GMT
Helsbells, it's part of his usual cycle. You've decided to focus on yourself and getting sober. He's a trigger to you right now. Please don't let his patterns impact your goals... tell him you appreciate the support and have decided to work on yourself and your sobriety and need distance for the time being so you have enough space to do that without distraction. That doesn't mean you never will talk to him again, but please don't let him derail you now that you've gotten started focusing on yourself.
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Post by Helsbells on Jan 23, 2020 6:49:13 GMT
Helsbells, it's part of his usual cycle. You've decided to focus on yourself and getting sober. He's a trigger to you right now. Please don't let his patterns impact your goals... tell him you appreciate the support and have decided to work on yourself and your sobriety and need distance for the time being so you have enough space to do that without distraction. That doesn't mean you never will talk to him again, but please don't let him derail you now that you've gotten started focusing on yourself. Your right Alexandra getting sober and well is my main priority and nothing is more derailing than this cycle. I'm working today but off to a meeting tomorrow thank you your reply is Brilliant xx |
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Post by tnr9 on Jan 23, 2020 9:36:12 GMT
Helsbells , it's part of his usual cycle. You've decided to focus on yourself and getting sober. He's a trigger to you right now. Please don't let his patterns impact your goals... tell him you appreciate the support and have decided to work on yourself and your sobriety and need distance for the time being so you have enough space to do that without distraction. That doesn't mean you never will talk to him again, but please don't let him derail you now that you've gotten started focusing on yourself. Your right Alexandra getting sober and well is my main priority and nothing is more derailing than this cycle. I'm working today but off to a meeting tomorrow thank you your reply is Brilliant xx I would also remind yourself that his actions are about “him”, not about you. His guilt, his fear, his need to feel ok.....the moment you step back into that dance with him....he will pull the exact same come here, go away pattern that he has shown your whole relationship. Continue to focus on you...we are here for you. |
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Post by Helsbells on Jan 23, 2020 12:56:50 GMT
Your right Alexandra getting sober and well is my main priority and nothing is more derailing than this cycle. I'm working today but off to a meeting tomorrow thank you your reply is Brilliant xx I would also remind yourself that his actions are about “him”, not about you. His guilt, his fear, his need to feel ok.....the moment you step back into that dance with him....he will pull the exact same come here, go away pattern that he has shown your whole relationship. Continue to focus on you...we are here for you. Thank you for saying this tnr9 I needed to be remember this xx |
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