Your bodily intuition: Your bodily intuition is the part that we call our belly sensation/the gut. But the body has no language. Our body senses. We read other people and the outside world with our body. We enter a meeting room and sense a mood. We listen to others and sense if they do not speak the true. The most basic tool is to know your "yes" and your "no" in the body. The first is your truth signal, your "yes". It is your body that tells you that this is the right choice. When the body says "yes" you will typically experience it as a sense of expansion in the body. Your chest opens up. You straighten your body. You can experience chills in different places on the body. Your body feels lighter and full of energy. When you notice your body's "yes" reactions, you will begin to feel feelings, such as joy, curiosity, security, calmness and serenity. You can feel something is the right decision because it feels good, calm and safe. The second signal is your warning signal. It's your body that says "no". You can feel that your system is contracting. Your body collapses a little. The stomach contracts. Often, a no feeling is empty. Your bodily intuition tells you that this is not the right solution.
The more you notice your body's signals, the easier it will be for you to make the right decisions. Many of us have been accustomed to ignoring our body signals. We have learned to base important decisions solely on logic. In fact, listening to what the body tells you is far more sustainable and strategically wise.
Your cognitive intuition Our brains have two sides, the left and the right half. In our society, we have been brought up to primarily use our left brain. It is the part of the brain that thinks logically and rationally. It is really good at solving problems. To weigh for and against. To think things through an extra time. You use your left brain when you solve problems, write to-do lists or research on the Internet. For most of us there is a non-stop inner dialogue from we wake up until we fall asleep at night. It is the left hemisphere that is active. Our cognitive intuition is primarily located in the right hemisphere. Our right brain half perceives and processes emotions, sensations, music and art. Right brain half thinks holistically and creatively, but it is without language. Right brain half communicates in pictures, in visions and music. The right hemisphere typically presents us with a solid solution. If you want a greater access to your overall potential, then you must consciously learn to draw on both the right and left brain. A simple exercise is to take a piece of paper and write down a problem that you would like a solution to. Your left hemisphere job is to take notes that come from your right hemisphere. The most important thing is that, without judging, you write down everything that comes to you. Try it and you'll be surprised at what answers you get.
Your emotional intuition Our heart is an important tool for strengthening our intuition. At the HeartMath Institute, scientists have found a concept that they call heart coherence - which means "to be logical, coherent, consistent and understandable". When there are similarities between our three intuitive systems: body, brain and heart, we experience heart coherence. Heart coherence activates feelings of calm, coherence, attachment to others and security. You can train your ability to experience heart coherence. The reason you need to train your ability to experience heart coherence is that you can learn to feel the difference between making decisions from either:
1) Fears and old beliefs 2) Based on trust and the ability of your intuitions to take holistic and sustainable solutions.
If you make decisions based on old beliefs, you will be guided by a limited mindset, old stories and traumas on an unconscious level. Very inappropriate and not very professional. So how do you avoid this potential danger? You do this by learning how to train your heart coherence. When making important decisions while maintaining the experience of heart coherence, you have access to your full potential and will make decisions on a much more nuanced and sustainable basis. Imagine what a huge difference it will make when making important decisions! So training your heart's intuition will strengthen your decision-making ability. That you will also experience a huge improvement in all your relationships, both privately and professionally, is a side benefit. Your ability to communicate and understand other people will increase significantly. It can be felt in all areas of life.
Take breaks for yourself to tune in and express. Just taking five minutes in a bathroom stall to feel your body, maybe do some anger work, or allow a few tears and sighs, can do wonders.
There are many ways we can follow our impulses in a basic way – such as going to the bathroom when we need to and not holding it, or taking a few moments to orient out a window, or to a plant. We can use our attention to see if we are keeping up good posture throughout the day, in sitting or standing. We can drink water when we need to. We can take a few moments to socially engage with a co-worker, or with a customer.
All these ways of listening to and honouring our basic biological impulses and needs will do a LOT to keep us feeling better in any situation, and they will also help build the bridge to finding even deeper levels of our authenticity, which can lead to better situations.
If you are currently in a job that feels soul sucking or just unfulfilling, part of healing trauma often includes stepping into work that feels more in alignment with our purpose, and that doesn’t feel so awful or repressive. These kinds of opportunities can naturally arise as we get more comfortable in our own skin, learn to better honor our biology, and become more aware of what we really want, and who we really are.
The tall poppy syndrome belongs to the parasympathetic ventral vagal under thread - fitting in, camuflaging.
It can be a cultural shadow in some countries
Tall Poppy Syndrome (TPS)/The law of Jante is a term commonly used in New Zealand, Scandinavia ect. referring to the expectation that poppies should grow together, and if one grows too tall, it is cut down to size, you shouldent brag about your succes ect.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoNgRAxXTTc Susan is the co-founder of Quiet Revolution and the author of the bestsellers "Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts", and "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can’t Stop Talking", which has been translated into 40 languages and been on the New York Times bestseller list for over four years. Her record-smashing TED talk has been viewed over 15 million times. She is an honors graduate of Princeton and Harvard Law School.
Some of the topics covered in this episode include:
- What it was like to be a Wall Street lawyer and an introvert - If she's an HSP - The difference between HSP and introversion - Open place workspaces - How Susan dealt with the huge popularity of her book and TED talk - The introvert backlash ....and more.
Relationships at Work -- Creating Powerful Teams Based on Vulnerability, Trust and Connection. A conversation with Eileen Fisher, founder Eileen Fisher; Tami Simon, SoundsTrue; and Diane Poole Heller, Trauma and Attachment Model Expert, at Wisdom 2.0 Business 2014.
The securely attatched: They often do not have risky jobs They also often do not have very nerdy positions in their worklife or studies. ex. within IT, research ect. Volunteer work Easily interact with other people at the workplace Good leaders
The ambivalent: They are often occupied by people and therefore often work in the caregiving structure or study something with people. Volunteer work They often like to talk and like to be social They can overshare about their private life They are expressive with their hands and with their faces They can be very attetive to others They can regulate with the watertank exercise ect They can have problems with saying NO to their boss or collegaes
The avoidant: They often love to engage in something, where they can be nerdy. They often like to be private or talk about their interests, something thats workrelated They can seem reserved to others. They can seem stiff (in their body) and are often not very expressive with their face In work environments where there is a framework, the avoidant can function well. If there is a respetion or other out-of-context relationship, they may have difficulty functioning and not knowing what to say or where to go. The same thing in school - they can work well in class but less well in the open space.
They can regulate with kind eyes meditation, put a pencil in their mouth to exercise their smiling muscles, ground with their eyeballs, do the welcome to the world meditation, Remember to say goodmorning to their collegaes and to say good bye Check in with their collegaes during the day. Perpare some queations they can ask their collegaes. They can practicie sharing some of themselves at work
Disorganized/FA: Can be seen in risk positions ex. divers, emergency ambulance drivers, work where there is high intensity, extreme sports ect..(not all). They can just as the ambivalent overshare about their private life They can have anxiety in the body, in the stomach, in the limbs ect. Or they can be zoned out and not notice anything in their body because they are dissociated. They may have problems with boundaries - their own and their collegaes boundaries They can ask very personal questions or can share very personal things. Can touch their colleges They can have a tendencie of arriving late - (they lost their keys, did not catch the train, they got stuck in traffic ect.) They can regulate the nervous system with the water tank exercise, push exercise, get into the now exercise ect. Can think that they themselves should be perfect or that others should be perfect Can sometimes collapse into tears if they make mistakes at work They can have problems with authories / bosses
The feminine is process oriented and the masculine is goal oriented.
In couples relatonship: Yin and Yang, together form a whole. The dynamics works best when there is a balance between the 2 poles. When you each make up the opposite half. If you are both in the masculine energy, your friendly relationship can be thriving at best. You will probably be good at different activities together. Maybe you're really competing together. But there will not be much spark. If you are both in the feminine pole, you can have the most amazing deep and emotional talks. You will feel seen, heard and understood. But again, it is possible that your sex life will die out.
In principle, a masculine woman and a feminine man should have the relationship and sex life to work out perfect. It just does not always happen. But sometimes.
There are many couples, where the woman has become equally masculine or more masculine than the man. The man has often been passive and feminine, he has left the stearing wheel to the woman. It gives a lot of frustrations for both.
In working life and elsewhere, you as a woman can quite easily use your masculine sides. As a man, you will be converted to a more whole human being when you take on some of the feminine sides.
It is actually really good and enriching for both sexes to develop both the masculine and the feminine sides. We can better live our potential from here. The art is that you compared to a (potential) partner, is in your masculine or feminine pole (typically your gender, but you may have changed to the opposite,).
Outside the relationsship, you can grow both poles, but when you meet up with your (potential) partner, you can choose to be feminie, or masculine.
It is not healthy to the feminine, always to be in go, go, go, work, work, work mode/competition mode.
Both the masculine and the feminine needs transition time after work.
The feminine: The feminine can't really multi task, but the feminine can shift quickly between different kind of tasks ect. It can also be a good idea for the feminine to take some transition time after work and to do something where the feminine gets down in the body.
Ex:: - to get out of their head and get down into the body on a daily basis. - to connect with their body and to their emotions
Do you as a woman remember to stop, feel your body and your heart on a daily basis ?
Most women want to do well in their lives, Being a good friend, being a good daughter, beeing a good co worker, being a good mother, being a good partner ect...
The masculine: The masculine needs transition time. The masculine needs to go into their "nothing box" and need longer transition time after work ect.(5-30 min. doing "nothing"). The masculine shifts slowly and the feminine shifts fast. Transition time: meditate, playing computer games, fishing, getting transition time on the way home from work (bus, 🚆 train), shifting TV channels ect.
In our couples relationship it is a good this if there is polarity between the masculine and the femine to keep the attraction adn to have a good sexlife. TGhere fore it is recommended that we do something to switch into the femine/masculine energy before come home to our partner after work.
According to a couples attatchment therapist he/she then can prefer a more "cold" and withdrawn partner. He she can also be less sexual. Or sometimes more sexual, because sex helps to regulate the nerveus system and helps dicharge ans.
Stress provides plenty of heat - therefore the masculine will not be attracted to heat but to cold. It is a good idea to withdraw a bit and become a bit "cold". Remember to set your boundaries if your partner lashes out. Otherwise it can drain your self-esteem/selfworth.
Both men and women have got the masculine and the feminine. The feminine needs to talk their way out of stress (getting nurture and care), the masculine needs to act their way of it and find their own solutions.
How Much Vulnerability at Work Is Too Much? Brené Brown Just Explained in 6 WordsIt's a dead simple explanation of how to walk the line between authenticity and professionalism.
"At some point, you've no doubt been told that authenticity and vulnerability are essential qualities of a great leader. Melinda Gates says it. Oprah says it. So does management consultant Peter Sheehan, who claims "the secret killer of innovation is shame." All of these experts insist that if you want to be effective and innovative at work you have to be honest and open about who you are and what you think.
On the other hand, we all also know there is a limit to this advice. Even just a little time in the business world is enough to reveal that oversharing personal struggles can get you labeled unprofessional and being too open with your worries just breeds useless fear.
"When we broadcast our limitations, we need to be careful to avoid casting doubt on our strengths," Wharton professor Adam Grant has cautioned. He also warns that too much authenticity can come across "as self-serving and self-absorbed."
So how do you walk the line between being genuine and open, but not boring or burdening others with your fears and problems? Therapist and star TED speaker Brené Brown just offered a useful and succinct answer.
"Vulnerability minus boundaries is not vulnerability"
Speaking with Grant about this issue on the WorkLife podcast, Brown shares the story of a team of founders she was working with who felt in over their heads at their struggling company. Should they confess their fear they weren't up to the job to their colleagues? That would be authentic, Brown responded, but also a terrible idea.
Then she hit the founding team with a six-word sentence that usefully sums up her approach to vulnerability: "Vulnerability minus boundaries is not vulnerability."
There are two reasons you might share personal details or risk public failure at work. One is to build trust and connection. You're sharing your own suggestions or struggles to make others feel safer sharing theirs. But there is another reason you might open up at work -- you want to unburden yourself and dump your worries and concerns on others. The first of these motivations is constructive and healthy. The second isn't, and as Brown's quote captures, you should put firm boundaries around this second type of authenticity.
She goes on to suggest that before you decide to open up at work ask yourself: "Are you sharing your emotions and your experiences to move your work, connection, or relationship forward? Or are you working your s--t out with somebody?"
If it's the latter, remind yourself that "vulnerability minus boundaries is not vulnerability" and keep your mouth shut. Our loved ones are there to help us bear our emotional burdens. Our colleagues are there to help us accomplish great things together. Make sure professional sharing is always aimed at that second goal and you'll walk the line between authenticity and self-absorption just fine."
Teaches couples to ritualize reunions after separations. Reunion mishaps are a common cause of couple dysregulation and arguments. This process helps partners regulate one another quickly and easily. The one who is already at home comes to the door and greats their partner.
Shadow ’as a psychological concept was originally introduced by Carl Jung and refers to the aspects of our personality that we suppress, deny, are feeling ashemed of, distance ourselves from, will not accept ect.
The shadow contains both the version of yourself you do not want to be known by - and the version of yourself, that you wish you dared to show the world. So if you want to be more authentic and satisfied in your working life it is advisable for you to look at the shadow.
How to find your passion:
YOUR COURAGEOUS, VISIONARY SELF
What does your brave, visionary self look like?
VISUALIZATION Brainstorm. Let go and make room for your imagination and dreams. Write as many options that you can think of. Do not be afraid to repeat yourself and remember to trust your heart - without judging, editing or censoring. Have fun. Do you already have an idea of what your personal life purpose is?
What dream would you like to release - if you won 20 million (after you had power-shopped,and sipped coconut drinks on an Indonesian bounty beach for half a year)?
What projects would you realize or launch if you were 100% sure of success
What projects would you realize or launch if you were 100% sure you were skilled enough?
What would you love to be - if anything were possible?
Which jobs are almost too good to be true ?
What would you love to do but are afraid that you cant make enough money on?
How would you love to be in a 2 week "internship" - if there was a free choice
Which people would you most like to follow day and night for 2 weeks if you could choose freely among all the citizens of the globe?
Where / for whom would you love to work for free - if you did not have to work? (that does not necessarily have to be charity work)
Which educations would you love to take - if you had enough time and money?
What would you most like - right now - if there was no audience? (i.e. not anyone to judge your choices)
What amazing / wild / secret / or seemingly "unrealistic" job opportunities have you already considered or fantasized about?
What is a great source of joy (or inspiration) for you that no one could pay you to do?
Complete the sentence: My dream job has ar least something to do with ...
My Passions: (everything I love to do / I love about eg Julio Iglesias, Dolly Parton, taking photos, cooking, singing, dancing, etc.)...... - - My Fantastic Opportunities;… Possible job titles, educations, projects etc. that could be great to work with, try, do, be, start on if everything was possible and you were guaranteed success. - - My Passion cues: Passion clues are the common thread in what you love to do. The essence of what you think is exciting, important or amazing. You will typically find the Passion Clues after the words "because" or "because of " . Eg I love to sing / present / teach / swim etc. because / because of.... - - As far as possible, try to describe your Passion Clues in a single word.
YOURSELF AS A CHILD:
Feel free to ask parents and others who knew you as a child for advice!
3 - 12 years What did you love to do or play when you were a child? When did you have the most fun in your childhood? What were you particularly good at or aware of as a child - perhaps more than other children you knew?
What were you interested in as a child - perhaps more than other children you knew? What were you praised for at school - both academically and socially? Is there a common thread? What Passion Clues Do You See? Remember to write down the Passion Cues
13 - 19 years What did you love to spend your time on in your teens? What were you interested in? - maybe even more than other of your friends? What subjects did you get good grades in, in school?
Did your good grades reflect a passion - or were you not particularly fond of the things, you were good at? What did you dream - as a child and teenager - of being "when you grew up"? What needs could this employment meet or what talents could youuse? For example, the need / talent to be creative, structured, fun, stand on a stage etc. Do you live out this need / use this talent in your current job? If so, in which way? If not, is it something you miss?
PRAISE AND RECOGNITION What talents, abilities, traits, character traits and results have you been praised for
Of by assistants / employees:
In employee interviews:
In speeches / party songs:
Is there a common thread? What Passion Clues Do You See?
Write 1-3 things / projects that you are proud to have created, done, tried or accomplished in your life. Remember, it does not have to be big in the eyes of others, as long as it has been important, meaningful to you and gives you a feeling of pride and joy. 1. 2. 3. What specific qualities, skills, strengths or talents did you use in each of the above examples? 1. 2. 3.
YOUR MOTIVATION! Put an X next to what motivates you - right now. • To be employed • To be independent • A combination (both employed and self-employed) • Fixed frames • Security • Freedom • Employed in a small business (less than 10 people) • Employed in a medium-sized company (10 - 50 people) • Employed in a large company (50+ people) • Small business owner with few employees (how many?) • Large business owner (how many?) • Single ‘man’ business • Local company • Global business (which countries?) • To have many colleagues / partners / large network • Having a small group of trusted colleagues / partners • To work alone • Working in a small team • Working in a large team • Having a business partner / colleague • What qualities should your ideal business partner possess - professionally? • What qualities should your ideal business partner possess - personally? • Working at home • To have your own office • Sitting in an open office • To have an office + home workplace • To be part of an office community • Not having a permanent workplace • Changing workplace • Peace and quiet at work . Lively surroundings • To be physically active at work • Working outside • Physical contact • A lot of travel activity at work • No travel activity • Any travel activity • Person-oriented work (with people) • Product-oriented work (with things) • Idea-oriented work (with ideas, concepts, projects) • Process-oriented work • Results-oriented work • Getting started • To complete • Niche-oriented work (specialist - focus on details) • Broad / all-round work (generalist - focus on the big picture) • Full time • Part time • Flex time • Weekly day off • Short transport time to jobs • To be very visible • To be able to "hide" • Speaking other languages - which ones? • To be able to use specific skills - which ones? • Influence / power / leadership • To help / support / assist • Title / position / status • Money • Team spirit • Competition • Educational opportunities • Personal development • Creativity • Artistic expression • Physical setting (lighting, views, location, etc.) • Aesthetics • Functionality • Focus on sustainability / environment Other preferences? Write some explanatory keywords next to each of the things you have put an X next to. What does this mean for you?
NEED TO HAVE AND NICE TO HAVE Divide everything that motivates you into Need to have and Nice to have. Some of the things you put an x at, are things you do not want to compromise on (they are need to have), and other things will be nice to have, but are not imperative… more like whipped cream, an extra bonus (nice to have).
Need to have:
Nice to have:
MY JOB VALUES: Put an X next to the values that are important to you in relation to work right now. You can choose as many as you want. Be honest. Trust your intuition. What really matters to you - professionally?
Accept Dependence Exit Reveal Ambition Analyze Recognition Responsibility Argue Assist Authority Fame Breaking boundaries Build Balance Determination Debate Design Details Discipline Dream efficiency Investigate Experiment Elegance Ethics Family Change Change Prepare Improve Immersion Explain Formality Understand Defend Confidentiality Progress Manufacture Freedom Fearlessness Community Sensitivity Feel Joy Guide Make a difference Cure Whole Help Humor Courtesy Idealism Initiate Introversion Influence Inspire Instruct Intellectual stimulus Intimacy Intuition Clarity Communication Control Logic Luxury Listen Power Compassion Against Fashion Enjoyment Presence Observe Care Discover Invent Inform Originality Convince Overview Overcome Passion Perfection Planning Produce Precision Realize Respect Justice Risk Pease Cooperation Togetherness Cohesion Gather Sense Victory Independent Security Fun Create Write Beauty Save Spirituality Stability Pride Structure Support Gratitude Technique Confidence Serve Security Extroversion Endurance Challenges Ask Express Entertain Investigate Teach Variation Persistence Charity Knowledge Win Visions Growth Be a part of Honesty Aesthetics Honour Amend